


A night to regret

by mioneskywalker



Category: Glee
Genre: Drama, F/F, Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-17 12:58:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 78,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1388497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mioneskywalker/pseuds/mioneskywalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That night will always haunt them. The night Rachel was a coward and denied her heart. Years passed, she goes back to Lima to be with her dads on Christmas. It's Xmas eve and Rachel seems to need a push to realize what she really wants. Family man plot with faberry in it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! if you didn't read this fic yet it'll be my pleasure to have you around! This fic is complete ( and posted in that other site ;) But i decided to post it here too as well as all the fics that i wrote and are completed.  
> I hope you like it!

**New York (2016)**

Deep breaths…

She is nervous; for a moment, she contemplates the possibility of giving up the plan.

The plan: to declare her love for Rachel.

"I can't do this Santana…" Quinn whines.

"Sure you can… and you will…"

Santana thinks the moment is perfect. Finn is in Ohio with the glee, and his relationship with Rachel is not very good in this moment. Rachel is starting to shine; she is walking towards her destiny: Broadway.

"But she is with him and…"

"Look, they're almost breaking up; they just didn't because, well, you know Rachel and her "Finndependence"

" "I'm scared."

"I know, but, do you wanna hide your feelings for her forever? If I knew she was happy with him, I'd never encourage you… I think…" She sighs. "You guys will be good for each other…"

"But, I don't think she is… she is straight…"

"Okay… I'll be straight, that girl has the hots for you, and I could tell it in high school, now? Is even more obvious…"

"But she never… you know, with any girl…"

"She is a repressed little bitch; it took a long time for me to figure her out… I know she says she is a very open minded person, that she has two gay dads and whatever… but, I don't know… when she made that prejudiced comment about my performance with B, you know? The one with Ms. Holliday? I just… At the time I got pissed with her; but after thinking about it, I got curious, she should've been the most understandable person in that room, right? But you know what? She seemed jealous and spiteful… anyway… I don't know, maybe I'm wrong but she was trying to hide something…"

"You can't know for sure…"

"Don't you wanna find out? This is the moment…"

Santana gestures to the stage where Kurt and Rachel were singing moments ago. Kurt helps his best friend down the stage and they walk together toward the two girls.

"Soooo?" Rachel beams.

"Amazing!" Quinn says prideful. "As always…"

"Kurt? Let's get some drinks?" Santana and Kurt stare at each other for a moment and then the fashionable boy gets the hint.

"Yes, sure!"

"I'm going to miss NYADA…" Rachel states. Quinn smiles at her. She is once again nervous and fidgeting in the chair. Rachel notices. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" She says weakly. "I need to tell you something…"

"Okay," The blonde closes her eyes. Her hands are shaking.

"Hey, it's okay… it's me…" Rachel holds her hands.

"I'll be straight…" She sighs, "I love you." She bursts out the words.

"Oh, I love you too…" Rachel says happily, her denial taking control.

"No, I meant, I'm in love with you Rach…"

Rachel freezes eyes wide open.

"Please say something..."

"I..."

* * *

 

 

**Lima, December 2022.**

"Little star!"

Hiram shouts happily as soon as he opens the door. He hugs his daughter and lifts her in the air. It really doesn't matter to him that she is almost thirty.

"Where is dad?" she asks after he released her.

"Right here!" Leroy beams and walks toward her.

"Hi dad!" They hug each other.

After telling everything that has happened in her life recently, she excuses herself and retires to her bedroom. She takes a nap. When she wakes up, she can feel the smell of cookies. She goes downstairs and finds her dads singing while baking.

"Hello baby girl…"

Leroy kisses her cheek.

"What are you guys doing?"

"It's Christmas eve Rachelah!" Hiram says excitedly.

"Yeah, and you're Jewish…"

"Well, I blame that husband of yours, you know, Finn loves these cookies and he loves Christmas…"

"Yes he does… there is something I need to tell you…" She sighs. "Finn and I…" How can she say it?

"we're getting divorced…"

They both open their eyes widely.

"Oh, how are you?" Leroy is concerned.

"I'm fine, it was my decision…"

"That's why he is back… He said he was missing his mom…" Hiram states thoughtful.

"It's been a while since we've decided to get a divorce… I'll always love him but…"

Rachel never talked about Quinn with her dads.

"He will teach again, I suppose… he says he doesn't want my money, but I want to buy something for him here… or at least help him to buy something in here…" If she keeps talking about trivial and mundane things, maybe she could avoid the heavy subjects; which means, her feelings.

"That's great, but how are you, really?" Hiram is the one asking this time.

"A little sad, but I don't want to talk about it now… okay?"

"Whenever you're ready…"

"Sure… you know what? I miss this town… I think I'm going to walk around…" She smiles. "Do you guys want something?"

"I think we have everything, but we could get a little more wine…" Leroy answers.

"Got it…" She leaves them. Rachel is walking in an almost empty street, snow falling down on her; It is almost night; she looks at the windows of the closed shops along the way. She should have known, its Lima after all. But then she sees a deli across the street; she goes toward it. She reaches the doorway and walks in. Rachel takes the things that she wanted and is ready to go when she hears somthing.

"Oh yeah...yeah, yee-ah! She's a certified winner... paper-thin but good as gold..." A black man is talking to himself. She takes the groceries and her wine and goes toward the counter.

 "Y'all do the lotto here? `Cause I got me a winner... I know, I know, Lotto keeps the black man down... but not me..."

Rachel keeps looking at the scene, curiosly.

"...06...14...18...48...right there. Four numbers...that's two hundred and thirty eight dollar... Merry Christmas and shit..."

"You drew in lines with a pencil."

The man behind the counter says; he barely looked at the ticket.

"What're you talking about?"

"You drew lines with a pencil! I know about this!" He gestures his arms in the air. The few people that are in the deli get nervous.

"What!? Look at the ticket!"

"Get out, I'll call 911!"

"You're lookin' at me; you're not even lookin' at the ticket!"

"Next customer in line!" The man calls out.

"You first generation, xenophobic, money-theistic!"

"Get out!" The black man throws the ticket on the other man's face.

"LOOK AT THE GODDAMN TICKET!" Rachel decides to step in.

"Let me see the ticket."

"Was I talking to you?!" He says threatening then he walks toward her. Rachel looks around at the scared customers.

"Maybe I'll buy it from you." She tries.

"Trying to be a hero, sweet thing?" He smells her hair. The angry trouble man turns to the coffee machine. "What?! Oh no, not another lookie-loo. You know how big a job this is?" Rachel gets confused. "You're double bookin' me! You're gonna get double billed! shit!" He throws a bottle of Perrier against the wall, it shatters.

"Hey, you don't have to…" In a flash, the trouble man whips a .38 from the back of his pants, pointing it at Rachel's face. They hear a woman screaming.

"Do you want to die?" He asks to Rachel. The Broadway star stares at the man trying to keep herself and the man cool. "DO YOU WANNA DIE?!"

"No…" She says.

"Yes you do…" He smiles.

"Look, I'm talking about a business deal here. I buy the ticket for two hundred, take it to a store where the guy behind the counter..." She looks at the other man. "Doesn't have a death wish..." she turns to the black man again "I just made myself a quick thirty eight dollars."

He gets closer to her.

"Like I said, it's a business deal..." she says with certainty.

"Damn, you are the real thing..." He narrows his eyes at her, and then he smiles as he puts the gun back into his pants. "C'mon, Rachel, let's get outta here..." He turns to the man behind the counter. "You were lookin' at me, papa, you shoulda been lookin' at the ticket. That ticket was legit, you're fake..." He starts to get out of the deli. Rachel follows him.

"How do you know my name is Rachel?" She says as soon as they are out of the deli.

"Just because I'm black doesn't mean I don't appreciate Broadway..." He shakes his head. "You know you seem pretty relaxed for a woman who just had a gun pulled on her..."

"There's no way I was gonna die in that deli... Let's just say I've been on a lucky streak lately."

"A lucky streak, huh?" He laughs hard. Rachel hands him the money.

"Sound pretty sure of yourself, don't you?" Rachel nods.

"So you're telling me, you've got a gun to your head and you don't think for one second, what if this, what if that, maybe I shouldn't do this, I should've done that."

"I don't do that. That's just not for me..."

"Okay, Rachel, nice doing business with you..."

"Hey..." She calls him out.

"What do you want carrying that gun, anyway? You're just gonna do something you'll regret..."

"You want to talk about regrets; you're talking to the wrong person..."

"I'm just saying that you seem like a smart guy. At a certain point you're gonna do something, and then there's no turning back..."

"Yeah, in most cases that'd be true."

"I mean there must be programs out there, opportunities..."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute... you're trying' to save me?" He laughs. Rachel glares at him. "Oh man, you're serious..." he goes to the street."This woman thinks I need to be saved!"

"Everyone needs something."

"Yeah? What do you need?"

"Me?"

"You just said everyone needs something."

"I've got everything I need."

"Wow. It must be great being you. You got it all."

"Look, I'm not saying you'd be able to do it without some hard work..."

"You still think this is about me, don't you?"

"Sure it's about you. But it's about society, too…"

"Oh man, I'm gonna enjoy this one... Just remember, Rachel, you did this. You brought this on yourself..." He turns and leaves her, totally confused.

Moments later she walks in her dads' house, takes off her gloves and overcoat and goes toward the kitchen. The Berry family talks a little bit more, Rachel tells them about her early encounter, less the gun part, and then they have dinner. After dinner, she goes to her bedroom, she puts on her pajamas and crawls into bed.

* * *

 

 

Rachel opens her eyes. The room is filled with the sunlight. What? Something seems to be different. She looks down; there's a woman's head resting on her chest. A look of confusion crosses her face; she is trying to remember.

Did she meet a woman last night?

It wouldn't be the first time. She feels like an idiot, she feels like the worst person in the world when she thinks about it. She broke Quinn's heart but years later there she was fooling around with girls because she was feeling depressed about her break up with Finn (another one). Well, it's Broadway… But no! She hated what she did, she lost her friend, she lost her… No, it's past, she needs to move on. She turns her head to find a dog sitting beside the bed, wagging its tail. Did this woman have a dog?

Rachel looks around to analyze the room; clothes and toys are strewn about, family photos on the dresser. How weird… She looks down at the woman again, craning her neck to get a look at her face. And then she sees her, a look of utter contentment on her beautiful face, she is sleeping soundly.

_Quinn?_


	2. Isn't she lovely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The life inside the glimpse begins...

Rachel's heart is pounding against her chest.

Quinn?

What is Quinn doing in her bed? They hadn't spoken to each other for years, only a few casual words when they were in the same room, what doesn't happen very often. Yeah, not often at all…

"Mmmm… I need more minutes Rach, it's Christmas… go back to sleep."

Rachel gasps as she hears Quinn talking for the first time. Suddenly, the door opens abruptly. Rachel gets surprised.

_Beth?_

"Here… delivered…" Beth places a little girl on the bed. "Rise and shine!" She rubs her nose on the baby girl's cheek. The girl releases the most beautiful laugh that Rachel has ever heard. The little girl seems just like… her? She is three years old, perhaps?

"Mom, don't you think we need to open the gifs?" Beth says smirking.

"Mom needs more sleep…" Quinn mumbles. The baby girl crawls directly up to Rachel's legs. The older brunette look overwhelmed. Is this a dream? It wouldn't be the first time though. But this is a very realistic one. In fact it doesn't seem like a dream at all.

"Come on mommy! Get up!" Beth says to Rachel.

_Mommy? Where is Shelby? Wow! What was that?_

Quinn just bit her neck.

"Looks like we'll have to get up after all…" Rachel moves the little girl slowly over, then gets out of bed. "Rach?"

"I-I, I have to go…"

Rachel walks fast, she goes downstairs; the house is big, not too big; big and charming. There are Christmas' ornaments everywhere. She sees the Christmas tree and the gifts gathered on the floor. She takes an overcoat and a pair of snow boots. As soon as she emerges from the house she looks for a car. Where is she? She takes the car that was in the garage and drives away. She recognized almost immediately where she is. She grew up there after all. She goes to the same deli she went yesterday. Was it yesterday?

"Where is he?" She shouts to the man at the counter.

"Who?"

"The man from last night… it was a joke? Where is he?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"What?" She huffs and leaves the place. She then drives to her dads house. They must know what is going on. But they weren't home. She whines frustrated. Finn! She gets in the car again and drives to Carole and Burt's house. She knocks on the door eagerly.

"Hi, Rachel! Merry Christmas!" Burt says happily. She smiles at him.

"Merry Christmas!" She replies.

"Kurt is visiting Blaine's parents…"

"Yeah, I want to talk to Finn actually…"

Burt gets surprised.

"Well, uh… he is at school, I think it has something to do with glee…"

"Okay, thank you…" She leaves him as fast as she can. "Say hi to Carole to me!" She shouts and goes back to the car.

"Okay…" She reaches the McKinley's parking lot and parks the car.

Finn is in a reunion with the glee club. They are gathered on the auditorium's stage. Rachel feels a little bit of nostalgia. She walks toward the group. "Finn…"

"Rachel?"

"Can I talk to you?"

He frowns a little.

"I'm a little busy…"

"Finn! It's important!" She says impatient.

"You guys excuse me for a second…" He says to the glee club. Then he takes her arms and drags her away from the stage.

"What is so important?"

"I need to…"

_"Rachel Berry, please come to the principal office…"_

The sound comes out of the speaker. They both get confused.

"Finn why the hell I woke up this morning in be…"

_"Rachel Berry, please come to the principal office…"_

"What the hell!" Her eyes pop open.

"Seems that the principal wants to talk to you…" Finn smirks.

"Look…" She sighs. "Fine, but we do need to talk…"

Rachel leaves him and goes to the principal office. When she gets there she gasps. The man from last night is sitting on the principal's chair.

"You!" She shouts. "What have you done?!"

"Missed me?" he teases.

"What the hell is happening to me?!"

"Look, I don't know what you're getting so worked up about, you did this...you brought this on yourself."¹

"Brought what on myself?! I didn't do anything!"

"No? Come on, Rachel... I've got everything I need; I don't have regrets, that's just not for me... sound familiar?"¹

"You mean because you thought I was arrogant I am now on a permanent acid trip?!"¹

He laughs because of her dramatics antics.

"Everyone else in that store is a statue; they see their lives passing in front of their eyes, but not you. You're making a business deal..."¹

"What have you done to me?!" She says a little bit louder.

"I'm working hard for you here, Rachel. On Christmas! Now you did a good thing last night, intervening that way. I was moved..."¹

"Please, just tell me what's happening to me."

"It's a glimpse"¹

"A glimpse of what!?"¹

"Look, eventually, everybody gets one... some of them take a couple seconds; some of them take a lot longer..."¹

"I asked you a direct question! A glimpse of what?" She gets impatient.

"Figure it out. You got plenty of time."¹

"How much time?!"

"As long as it takes to figure it out, which, in your case, could be considerable."¹

"Figure it out? Figure what out?" He stares at her.

"In my experience the best way people deal with this is to just relax and breathe; let it come to you."¹

She faces him with frustration. "I don't have time for this right now. I'm in the middle of a musical..."

"Okay, look, I'd love to help you out some more but I got to go handle my business..."

"Hey, you did this to me; you can't just leave me like this..."

"I'll call the security then..."

"There is no security in this school and it's Christmas..."

"I have a personal security..."

"Fine! Whatever... I'll go talk to Finn... then I'm going back to New York…"

"Don't do that..."

"Why not? Are you scared?"

"He is not your husband you know... and I'm sorry to inform but, your life it's not the way it was… you don't live in New York anymore…" She whines. "And as soon as you figured out, this situation will be over... go home, it's Christmas..."

Rachel muses a little and decides to hear him. She is obviously here because of him, so, she shouldn't contradict him. But the point is: how she is going to figure out whatever she needs to figure out? Is this a scientific experiment? Is this a divine's intervention? Rachel stops thinking before her head explodes.

"Fine… I'll see you again, right?"

"Sure…" He smiles cynically.

She walks toward the car and when she gets there she stands still gazing at the parking lot.

_Quinn?_

Thank god for GPS. She couldn't get home without it. When she is finally there, she sees her dads walking toward their car. She parks the car and goes towards them.

"Dad? Daddy? Oh thank God!" She throws her hand in the air.

"Little star!" Leroy shouts and gathers her in his arms.

"Rachel Barbra Berry! You scared us!" Hiram hugs her too.

"Yes, Quinn called us…" Leroy adds.

"Quinn…" Rachel whispers. "Yes, Quinn, your wife… she is worried about you! Where have you been?"

"My what?!" Rachel eyes are wide open.

"She was right… you're weird…" Leroy states.

"Rachel, go inside, we will give you guys a little bit of privacy, we'll see you at the party…"

"Okay…" she says weakly.

Rachel gets in the house. She finds Quinn in the kitchen, she is on the phone.

"Wait..."

"You cut your hair again..." Quinn looks at the brunette, she is confused.

"Years ago... are you okay?" She turns to the phone again. "Never mind, she just walked in..."

Rachel nods. The blonde tosses the phone away and pulls her wife into a tight hug. The singer melts. She missed this. Quinn's arms, Quinn's scent, She missed Quinn…

_Oh my God, I missed this; I missed this so much…_

"You scared me…" The blonde says.

"Why?"

"Why?" Quinn pulls away and Rachel misses her body already.

"You left this house Rach without saying a word! It's Christmas! You spent all week planning every little detail and you weren't here to see how happy they got? You missed the whole thing, you know how Beth is impatient, and I had to allow them to open their gifts to distract them. We were worried about you…You know that they are crazy about you, they adore you Rach… look, you seem to be going through a phase, just don't forget that this family loves you…"

Rachel sighs and drops her eyes to the floor. Is this really happening? The blonde looks at her wife curiously.

"Where were you?" Quinn says with her husky voice while narrowing her eyes.

"I needed to see Finn..." Rachel knows that that was exactly the wrong thing to say because of the way Quinn is looking at her.

"Why?" She asks through her teeth.

"Look, you don't understand. I woke up here, and this is very strange ... this is not my house..."

If Rachel wasn't so disturbed by the sudden change, she would have noticed that every detail of the house says exactly the opposite; especially the music studio full of pictures of her old Broadway's moments.

"You know what, Rach? It's not funny this time. I'm really upset."

"No! Quinn, you don't get it… I'm a Broadway star! I have an amazing apartment in New York! I'm rich! By the way, you're a Hollywood actress and you're even richer than me!" Rachel stood there staring at Quinn.

"What?"

"This…" Rachel gestures to the house. "This is surreal!" She lowers her voice "Are you still mad at me because of that night? You know, the night you said you loved me and I dumped you? This is a joke?"

"What? I got pissed, yeah… but then you…" Quinn blushes and smiles.

"I what?" "What you mean?" Rachel keeps looking at her.

"Look, we don't have time for this right now; we'll talk about it later. Now get dressed... We have mom's Christmas party..."

"Party? Oh no, I can't go to a party..."

"What's with you today?"

"Trust me on this Quinn. I really don't think going to a party is the right move for me at the present time."

"Fine, you can stay…" Rachel nibbles her lip.

"No, you're right, I'm going…" She doesn't know why but she doesn't want to make Quinn sad anymore. Actually, she knows why. That night… Quinn looks at her. The blonde gets close and holds Rachel's chin.

"You really scared me starlight…" She kisses Rachel's cheek.

"Uh… sorry..." Rachel is feeling a little dizzy. Her knees are betraying her. "I'll go get dressed… you take care of your daughter, she missed you; she is with Beth in her bedroom…" Quinn walks away.

"Okay…" Rachel nods weakly. The brunette finds herself staring at Quinn's ass as the blonde walks out of the kitchen. She starts to breath slowly. After she recovered herself from all the madness that her life have become (and Quinn's ass) she goes upstairs. She enters in the Bedroom that she assumed it was the baby's bedroom. She melts when she sees that sight. Beth is playing with the younger brunette on the ground.

"Look! Look Toni! Look who is here…" Rachel smiles at the girl that she already knows. _She is just like her mother._ She thinks.

"Hi Beth, how are you?" Beth gets confused. "I'm fine… I'm going to change, you know, before mom complains…"

"But… what about her?" Rachel points at the baby.

"What you mean? Mommy, are you okay? You usually don't get away from her…"

"Nothing…" Beth stands up, kisses her mother and goes to her bedroom. Why Beth is calling her, mommy?

_Maybe I should call Shelby…_

The baby girl stands up awkwardly and nestles on Rachel's leg. The older brunette takes her baby girl and holds her in her arms. Is this beautiful thing real? Is she her daughter? Rachel wants to cry.

"Hi…" She looks the baby in the eye. She is so much like her.

"Hi mommy…" The baby girl says happily and holds her mother's face.

"Oh my God… You're perfect…" Rachel says. "Toni?" Toni smiles her big smile. _Toni? Antoinette… of course… Beautiful…_ "Oh god… I love you already… you're even better than a Tony!"

The singer smiles at her baby;

_Isn't she lovely?_

_Isn't she wonderful?_

_Isn't she precious?_

_Less than one minute old_

_I never thought through love we'd be_

_Making one as lovely as she_

_But isn't she lovely made from love_

Toni watches her mother hypnotized and Rachel is losing herself in those big chocolate eyes.

_Isn't she pretty? T_

_ruly the angel's best_

_Boy, I'm so happy_

_We have been heaven blessed_

_I can't believe what God has done_

_Through us he's given life to one_

_But isn't she lovely made from love_

Toni giggles when Rachel kisses her cheek. Rachel is so enchanted with her daughter that she lost track of the time and didn't even notice that her wife was watching her. Quinn loves to hear Rachel singing.

"You should be dressing her… not singing to her…" Quinn teases. Rachel looks behind. "Baby you're crying… Why are you crying?"

"I…" The brunette hadn't noticed that she was crying. "I'm… she is perfect…"

Quinn gets close to them.

"Of course she is; she is just like you…" The blonde kisses her daughter's head then she cups her wife's cheek.

Time seems to run in slow motion as Quinn gets closer and closer. She presses their lips together. The kiss is quick, just a brief moment of a magical touch. But Rachel sees stars.

"Give me her,"

"Uh?" Rachel opens her eyes.

"Toni, I'll take her…"

"Sure…" Rachel gives her daughter to her wife then she stares at the blonde.

"What?"

"You're beautiful…" Rachel has a very special way to say it and the blonde never gets tired of hearing it. She'll never be tired.

"You need to change, mom will complain about our tardiness…" The brunette laughs.

"Your mom is fine? You know… with us…" Rachel gestures pointing to Quinn and then to herself.

"What you mean?"

"What you mean, what I mean? You know… me and you…"

"You mean, about me being gay?" Rachel nods. "Well, she was there at the wedding…" Quinn smiles "She is fine Rach… she loves you, she loves Toni, but she won't be very happy if you don't go change right now…" The blonde narrows her eyes.

"Okay…"

* * *

 

As Quinn parks the car Rachel looks at the house through the window. The Fabray's residence; now that she is thinking about it, she doesn't remember visiting Quinn here. Beth quickly runs toward the house leaving her mothers behind.

"I'm taking her!" Rachel announces.

"Okay…" Quinn giggles. Rachel opens the back door and takes Antoinette from the baby car seat. They walk toward the house.

"Girls!" Frannie shouts.

"Hi Fran… already drunk?"

"Hey, I'm not!" Frannie turns to the little girl. "Hi Toni, come to your aunt…" She takes the baby.

"But…" Rachel pouts.

"Calm down mommy, I'll give her to you…" She smirks "Later…"

"Come on baby…" Quinn takes her wife's hand and drags her into the house. Rachel's eyes are rummaging through the Fabray's living room as Judy walks toward them with open arms. "Girls!"

"Definitively drunk." Quinn says to Rachel.

"I heard that…" Judy hugs Rachel first and the brunette smiles her big smile.

"Aren't you?"

"Of course I'm not!" Quinn quirks an eyebrow.

"Maybe a little…" Judy hugs her daughter. "I need you to see someone, come with me…"

"Is he rich? I'm only leaving Rachel for a rich man…" Judy rolls her eyes and drags her daughter away from Rachel. Rachel notices that the house is full. Judy's relatives maybe? She thinks. Maybe some friends too? She is happy to see that Quinn's mother hasn't been ostracized because of the divorce. It was common knowledge that the Fabrays are a conservative family. Well, this is a very conservative town… But here she is married with a woman… a Fabray woman…

"So, are you guys okay?" Hiram asks her and Rachel turns to see her father.

"Daddy, are you okay with this?"

"With what?"

"Me and Quinn… Didn't you expect me to marry a man?"

"You say it like I wanted to force you to marry a man… this would make me a big hypocritical don't you think?"

"It's not that…"

"What's wrong baby girl?"

"Nothing, never mind, I'm going to find Quinn…" He frowns at her and watches her go.

Rachel walks absently till she bumps into a woman. "Sorry, I'm sorry…"

"Rach, it's okay… I should pay more attention anyway…."

"Okay, I'll…" Rachel starts moving again.

"Wait…"

Quinn sees Rachel and Kate from her position on the other side of the room; the blonde watches as Kate gets close to her wife and whispers something in her ear.

"You're so sexy today…"

"Thanks… I guess…" The brunette blushes a little and Quinn arches an eyebrow.

"I'm here anytime you need me…" The blonde woman strokes Rachel arms seductively. Rachel nibbles her lip.

"If you excuse me…" She looks around searching for a place to hide. She goes toward the stairs. After a few attempts, she finds Quinn's bedroom. The teenage inside her is trilled. "So, this is how Quinn Fabray's Bedroom it's like…" She smiles and starts memorizing every detail. The photographs, the books, Quinn has been always a book geek. She throws herself on the bed and clasps her arms behind her head. Then she hears the door opening.

"What did she want with you?"

Rachel gasps and stands quickly like she has been caught. She still didn't get used to the "I'm married with Quinn Fabray" thing.

"Who?"

"Kate, who else?"

"I don't know who this Kate is…"

"No?" "No…" Quinn arches her eyebrow.

"Wasn't she whispering in your ear moments ago?"

"Oh, that woman?"

"Yeah…" She always thought jealous Quinn kind of hot, now that she is the one desired, it's even hotter. Rachel giggles.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I mean, look at you… I would be very stupid if I, you know…" Quinn gets close to her making Rachel breathless.

"I don't know; maybe I'll have to remind you that you're mine…"

Rachel swallows hard. "Why are you looking at me like this?"

"Like what?"

 _Fucking sexy voice!_ The singer is on fire. Her cheeks are pretty red right now. "I-I don't know…" She stutters as Quinn is even closer. "Like you want… me?"

Quinn chuckles. "News flash…" She teases and grabs Rachel's waist.

"Uh… we…"

"You're talking to much Berry…" The blonde leans to capture her wife's lips but Rachel moves away just in time. "What you're doing?" Quinn says into her ear.

Rachel can't think of an answer, she is finding it really hard to breath, especially when every inch of her body wants to surrender to Quinn, to her touch. She denied this pleasure to her body for so long. Maybe she should just give in.

"You never let an opportunity of making out in my old bedroom slip away…" The blonde wraps her arms around the small of her wife's back. She bites Rachel's earlobe.

"Make out?"

"Don't act like you don't want it…"

 _Oh, I want it… I want it so badly… but…_ Rachel feels guilty. Here is Quinn, in love and happy and beautiful and… Rachel thinks… No, she is certain that she doesn't deserve it. She messed up. She broke Quinn's heart.

"You know what? There's too much talking going on here… we have little time before Beth bursts in, she developed the habit of being a huge killjoy…" Quinn sighs dramatically. "I know, she is getting so like me…" Rachel giggles and Quinn slides her hand further down until she cups her wife's ass. Rachel's eyes widen. "So, we should start now…"

Rachel pulls away abruptly.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing… I just…"

Quinn frowns and sits on the bed. She rubs her forehead.

"You pulled away…Like…" She closes her eyes. "You never refused my touch or my kisses before…" Rachel sits on her side.

"Quinn, I…" She starts. "You were right before, I'm going through a phase…"

"Talk to me… You always talk to me…"

"I can't."

"You can't or you don't want…"

"I can't, you won't believe me anyway…"

"Why don't you try?"

"What you guys are doing here?" Beth interrupts.

Quinn looks at her wife with I-told-you-so eyes. Beth goes toward them and sits on Rachel's lap. Beth being all affectionate with her it's not really new to Rachel. She has a really good relationship with both, Shelby and Beth. _Had… that was another life Rachel… or this is another life… God! This is confusing!_

"There's a family reunion going on in here then? See Toni? They don't even invited you…" Frannie appears in the doorway holding Toni in her arms. Antoinette starts getting impatient, eager to go down on the floor. Frannie places her on the floor and she runs to her mother.

"No, no, no… she is mine…" Beth says playfully while blocking the way.

"Be! You evil! I want mommy!"

"No, go to you other mother…"

"Oh, you girls remember me? I'm flattered…" Quinn says dramatically and grabs her younger daughter. "Hm?" She puts the little girl on the bed and starts tickling her daughter. Toni giggles happily.

"Quinn, careful, she needs to breathe…" Rachel says concerned.

"Do you need to breathe my sunshine? Your mother is such a drama queen, isn't she?"

"I'm not!" Rachel huffs.

"Yes you are…" Beth, Frannie and Quinn say at the same time.

"Not fair…" Rachel pouts childlike.

* * *

 

When Beth was passed out in the living room's couch, Quinn decided that they should leave. Hiram carried the girl to their car and they all said good bye. When they got home both girls were fast asleep. Rachel took Toni and Quinn took Beth.

"She is getting big…" Quinn states.

"No complaints in here…" Rachel teases as they walk into the house.

"You know, in her age, mom wouldn't be able to carry me…" Rachel giggles. "Now is the hard work…" She looks upstairs and breathes deeply.

"Good luck…"

"By the way, your turn to take Luna outside…" She starts going up.

"Luna?"

"Don't even start…"

"What?" Rachel follows her. They reach upstairs. Quinn goes to Beth's Bedroom leaving an uncertain Rachel standing in the hallway. The blonde changes her daughter and leaves the bedroom. She smiles when she sees Rachel lulling Toni.

"You were supposed to put her on her bed…"

"Yeah, right…"

"Let me do it, you take the dog outside…"

"Luna is the dog…" Rachel says more to herself than to the other woman.

"Yes, your dog…"

"She is not my dog!"

"You're right, she is Beth's dog… you made the rules and today it's your day so…"

_I bet I know who named the dog… book geeks_

"It's cold outside…"

"Rach," Quinn says resolute.

"Fine…" Rachel huffs.

She takes the dog outside, it's really cold.

"Do it please, it's cold here…" Luna seems to have heard her. "Oh thank God!"

_Perfect, I'm celebrating a dog poop._

* * *

 

Rachel goes back to the house and welcomes the warmth.

She can't wait to go to bed, except that this means to go to bed with Quinn.

_Okay… take a deep breath… we're not going to do anything... we're just going to sleep…_

She goes to the bedroom.

Rachel stops at the doorway and stares. During their college years, before that regrettable night, they had plenty of time to discover new things about each other. Rachel already knew that the blonde was a bookworm; she seemed to be always reading a book in glee club. But Yale Quinn was such a nerd. Rachel loved it. She always thought the blonde beautiful anyhow. Cheerleader Quinn, Punk Quinn, the stunning Hollywood actress Quinn (though this version doesn't exist here, right?); But this one in front of her now, is her favorite, unfortunately, she's only saw a few times when Quinn was visiting New York.

Ray-ban glass, a ponytail, it is possible to see on her face that she is concentrated.

_So beautiful…_

"You're back…"

"Yes…" Rachel walks in.

"I couldn't resist, I'm almost finishing…"

"I'm going to change…" Rachel goes toward the closet. At least this seems the same; her clothes, she is Rachel Berry after all. She goes to the bathroom to change; when she is back Quinn is reading again, she smiles. The brunette tries to sneak in the bed; she doesn't want Quinn to notice. She just doesn't know that Rachel Berry never go unnoticed by Quinn Fabray's eyes.

"I forgot to tell you… San called me; she and B are coming tomorrow…"

"I miss them…" Rachel sighs.

"I know you do…" Quinn grabs her so out of the blue that Rachel barely had time to think. All she knows is that she is now lying with her back on the mattress and Quinn is on top of her.

But before anything could happen she rolls over and sits.

"What's wrong baby?" Quinn frowns slightly.

"Nothing, I just want to sleep…"

The blonde kisses her neck. "You don't want me?"

She can feel Quinn's breathing on the back of her neck. She closes her eyes. "It's not that…" She turns to face Quinn.

The blonde locks her hazel eyes onto Rachel's brown ones. She takes her glass and puts on the nightstand. Rachel gulps.

"Okay…" Quinn starts preparing herself, ready to sleep.

_Oh fuck it!_

Rachel grabs her neck and pulls her close. They stare at each other for a moment and then Rachel presses their lips together. She has always been curious about how would be like to kiss Quinn. She takes one of Quinn's lips between hers and gently sucks it; Quinn then holds Rachel's neck to pulls her even closer. The kiss gets more passionate as they open their mouths; the brunette slips her tongue inside Quinn's mouth making the blonde moan. Rachel is about to ignite and at the same time she is sure she will melt. Quinn's teeth lightly grab onto Rachel's tongue for just a second and Rachel loses her senses for a moment. But she pulls away. Quinn smiles at her.

"What was that?" The blonde felt something different, she doesn't know what exactly. But the kiss made her remember their first kiss.

"I…" Rachel moves to her side of the bed. "I'm tired…"

She wants to sleep. She needs to sleep. Will everything go back to normal tomorrow? She is not sure if she wants it. She gets thoughtful. How wrong Finn was. She didn't see fireworks. No… it was more like supernova, more, a hypernova. Quinn cuddles her and she had never felt so good in her life. After a moment she finally falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¹ Family man
> 
> Rachel sang "isn't she lovely" (Steve wonder or Glee If you prefer)


	3. Old friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some very well known visitors...

The first thing she notices when she wakes up is that she is in bed alone. She should be relieved that everything was nothing but a dream. Yes, she should be relieved, but she is not. She closes her eyes in an attempt to visualize her face, her daughter's face. Rachel sighs sadly. Maybe this is the best. She has a great life; she is a Tony winner, a Broadway star. Yes, she has a great life. She puts a smile on her face and sits up, ready to go back to her perfect life and of course to laugh about it later, when she tell Kurt.

She stretches her arms and for the first time, Rachel focuses on the room.

Yeah, definitely not a dream…

And now that she is fully aware that it wasn't a dream, she can hear the shower; the shower and the voice of angel.

Quinn? singing in the shower? That's new; new and beautiful.

Rachel gets out of bed and walks toward the door. She goes to Beth's bedroom; the blonde girl is sleeping soundly. Scanning the room, the singer couldn't help but notice that Beth also has a passion for books. She looks at Beth again; she has big plans for the girl. If there's something that the movies have taught her is that kids can be very helpful in these situations. Last night, at the party she had to prove that she can be a good improviser, she needed her talent as an actress and she did a great job skipping the compromising questions. But it was a party, so the alcohol helped.

She leaves Beth's bedroom and goes to the other one. When she gets close to the door, she hears a laugh.

Toni is fully awake, jumping on her toddler bed, the girl looks like she is having so much fun. Rachel gets in the bedroom.

"Hey…"

"Mommy!" The little girl smiles happily.

"You're awake, and full of energy… you're really my daughter…" Rachel takes her.

"Me hungry mommy."

"Huh… I-I, what do you… I don't know; hold on a second, I'll be right back…" She puts the little girl back on her toddler bed. "Just a second…"

"Mommy! Mommy!" The girl starts whining.

"No, no… here, I got you… " She holds Toni and goes toward their bedroom. Quinn is still in the shower.

_Great…_

She puts Toni on the bed and gets close to the bathroom's door. She knocks carefully but it's unheard as the blonde is still singing.

_Sometime's up ( uh, uh)_

_Sometime's down ( uh, uh)_

_My life's so uncertain ( uh, uh)_

_With you not around ( uh, uh)_

She remembers Kurt saying to her: **"Seems we missed the unholy trinity performance…" "Did Quinn sing?" "Tina told me that she was amazing…" "She is amazing…"**

Rachel smiles; she is completely charmed by Quinn's sweet voice.

_From my arms you may be out of reach_

_But my heart says you're here to keep_

_Keeps me crying baby for you_

_Keep on, keep on crying baby for you_

"Quinn?" She knocks again.

So won't you hurry

Come on girl, see about me (Come see about me)

 ** _She changed the lyrics._**   Rachel smiles at that. "Naturally…"

_See about you baby (Come see about me)_

_You know I'm so lonely (Come see about me)_

"Quinn?" Rachel tries again. She pushes the door and she sees it's open.

_I love you only (Come see about me)_

_See about me_

Rachel enters in the bathroom walking backward, but the shower stall is full of steam, she couldn't see the blonde anyway. She decided to turn around. "Toni is awake… so I was wondering…"

_See about your baby (Come see about me)_

_No I'm so lonely (Come see about me)_

"Are you hearing me?!"

The blonde opens the glass door.

_I love you only_

Rachel gulps her eyes wide open.

_Come see about me_

The blonde finishes seductively. At first Rachel managed to keep her eyes on Quinn's face. She tried to focus on beautiful hazel eyes instead on delicious lips or magnificent collarbone, or perfect pink nipples, or amazing toned abs and definitely, she tried to keep her eyes away from…

"Are you liking what you see?"

"Yes…" Rachel licks her lips instinctively, she is a goner. "Yes I am…"

But the sound of the water hitting the floor brought her back o reality.

"I mean, I'm hungry, no! Toni is hungry… she is the one hungry, I'm not…" She drops her eyes trying to focus on anything else, she stutters "I-I…" Rachel leaves the bathroom as fast as she can and closes the door behind her. She is hyperventilating.

_What the hell Rachel! Quinn naked, big deal… So what? Can't you control yourself? Naked… so very naked… naked and perfect…_

Quinn gets out of the bathroom wearing a bathrobe.

"I could swear that you were embarrassed because you saw me naked…"

The brunette nibbles her lip eagerly.

_Right, we're married… I've allegedly seen her naked before…_

"I just didn't want to disturb you… you were singing perfectly by the way… I was not embarrassed." She tries to disguise her embarrassment.

"I know… I mean, that wouldn't be you…" Rachel gets relieved. "I know you love to appreciate my body, that's why I worked hard to get it back, you know, after Toni…" Quinn looks at Toni and Rachel's face lights up with a big and genuine smile.

"You had her…" Rachel lifts her hand and takes a strand of wet hair that had fallen in front of Quinn's face then she tucks it behind her ear.

"I mean, you carried her…" The look of sheer adoration in her wife's eyes makes Quinn feel so completely loved;

"Yeah…" She arches an eyebrow. "You know that…"

"Jump, Jump, Jump! Jump jump jump!" The brunette girl is jumping on her mothers' bed.

"Huh… yes I know… But you know; I'm still in wonder…"

"Hey…" With the pad of her thumb Quinn wipes the tear that Rachel hadn't noticed that she shed.

"You're very sensitive lately… I mean, more than usual…"

"It must be Christmas' fault…" The blonde giggles and they look at each other intensely.

"Huh, Toni…" Rachel looks at her daughter.

"She is hungry…"

"Jump!"

"So? She is your daughter…" Quinn teases.

"Yes, but…" She trails off. "What should I prepare to her?"

"What she eats every morning?"

"Of course… and what would that be?

"You're really…" She frowns. "Never mind, I'll give her pancakes, and you can't stop me, she ate it yesterday, and she liked it…"

She gets close to her daughter "Do you want some pancakes Toni?"

"Yay! Pakes!"

Rachel smiles at her daughter.

"So, you're breaking my rules behind my back?" She says teasingly, she knows herself pretty well; she probably made a power point presentation about healthy food for kids.

"She is three years old Rach; she'll be fine with pancakes…"

"Okay…"

"I'm going to change and then…" she holds Toni."Pancakes!"

__

* * *

 

 

When Rachel gets in the kitchen moments later, after her morning routine, Toni is sitting in her toddler chair while Quinn is making pancakes.

"Do you want me to help you?"

"You're a terrible cook…"

"I'm not that bad…"

"Yes you are…"

"Fine…"

"Aw... baby I love you, but you know that Beth and I are very demanding when is about our bacon, so…"

Rachel's heart speeds up.

"What?"

"Say that again."

"What? That we are demanding about our bacon?"

"No, the important thing…"

"Bacon is really important to us," Quinn teases and Rachel rolls her eyes.

"I love you…" She says with a big smile on her face. Rachel's thoughts flies away; they go back to that night.

**_"Oh, I love you too…"_ **

**_"No, I meant, I'm in love with you Rach…"_ **

"Why?" Rachel questions Quinn.

"Why what?"

"I still don't know why you love me…"

"I still don't know either…"

"I want pacakes mom."

"It's you mommy's fault! She is distracting me, my baby"

"I'm not…"

"There you go!"

The blonde places in front of her daughter a plate with a strawberry and honey decorated pancake on it.

"Will she eat alone?"

"Of course baby, she is a young lady" she smiles at Toni.

"but you can help, I know you want to…"

"Morning mom, morning mommy…" Beth enters in the kitchen rubbing her eyes.

"Do I smell bacon?"

Rachel shakes her head. "Morning Beth."

"Morning honey…" Quinn gets close to her daughter and kisses her cheek. "Guess what?"

"Hm?"

"San and B are coming to visit us."

"Cool,"

"Beth can I talk to you? After breakfast?" Rachel says casually.

"Sure mommy…"

"What are you guys plotting this time?"

"I'm innocent…" Beth replies.

"Don't worry…" Rachel says smiling. "It's no big deal…"

* * *

 

 

After they finished breakfast and as Quinn was on the phone talking with Santana, Rachel decided to explore the house and it didn't take long for her to find her music studio. She doesn't know what she was expecting; Broadway has been always her dream after all. Why are we living in Lima then? And why Beth is here? Her eyes find a photograph of her mother. She takes the photo and immediately she starts feeling cold and nauseated.

_What is this feeling?_

"I'm gonna always love her you know…" Beth says behind her. "but you and mom are my family and I love you both so much… I guess I'm pretty luck, lot of people goes through life without ever having a mother and I had three…"

Rachel gets pale and she thinks she is going to faint.

"Beth," She stretches her arms. "Please hold me…"

"Mommy, are you okay?" Beth runs toward Rachel and holds her.

"I don't know…"

"You're shaking… I'm going to call mom…"

"No, just, listen to me; I need to go, please, tell you mother that I'm okay and I'll be right back…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Rachel kisses her forehead. "I love you, okay? I'll be back in a minute…"

Beth nods. "Okay."

Once she is in the car, she lets the tears run down her face. She is not sure where she is going, she just drives. Should she go to him? He is probably not in school anymore. After awhile driving she gets there anyway. It wasn't the first time that she sneaked in, she and Kurt did it once years ago. This place is so full of memories, the auditorium was her favorite place in the school and being there always made her feel better. It's not working now.

"So you're back?"

She looks at him with fire in her eyes. "You killed my mother!"

"No, I didn't…"

"That's why Beth is with us, I know it! She is not here… I can feel…" She cries. "How, how did she… how did she die?"

"This is the wrong question…" He gets close to her.

"What?"

"How… This is not important, but why… why is she dead?"

"Why?"

"You have to figure it out…"

"Look! I'm tired of your games, give me my life back!"

"Are you sure is that what you want?" He arches an eyebrow.

"Just tell me what I have to do…"

"I said it before; it's not how it works…"

"Why? You did this to me; you have to give me answers!"

"Because you got to figure it out for yourself… now get out or I will call the police… " He walks toward the exit.

"And remember, you don't wanna know how… you just have to figure out why…" She stood motionless for a moment.

Why? Okay, if she is honest with herself, her relationship with her mother wasn't that good. Everything was perfect until they had a fight, a big fight. They were getting closer and closer every day and it was amazing to have her mother around; but then the fight, and all of sudden their already too delicate relationship fell apart. She lost the chance of having a mother, and now she lost her mother.

Rachel wipes her tears and takes a deep breath. She needs to go back, she promised. Beth needs her and she must have scared the girl.

* * *

 

 

Before going home she passes by her dads' house.

"Rachel!"

"Hi daddy!" Rachel smiles and hugs her dad tight. Hiram kisses the top of her head.

"Come in pumpkin."

"Hi beautiful!" Leroy joins them in the living room and she hugs him tight too.

"Hi dad…"

"So, how are the girls?"

"They are fine, I'm already leaving actually, I just needed to see you guys… and…" She sighs.

"Rachel baby, there's something wrong? I mean, you and Quinn, you girls are okay, right?"

"Yes…" Yes, right? "I just, you guys won't believe cause we weren't really close, but I miss Shelby…"

"You weren't close? Little star, despite our jealousy, I have to say that you and Shelby were pretty close,"

"Leroy is right, at the time we got jealous, but now when I think about it… you guys had your chance to become close… she loved you, and she'd be happy to see the mother you've become; Beth adores you and the fact that you and Shelby are very similar helped…" He teases. Rachel giggles.

"I love you dad, I love you daddy…"

"We love you too baby girl…" Hiram says.

"I've got to go…"

"Are you sure? Don't you wanna drink a hot chocolate or something?" Leroy asks.

"I'm sure; I have to go back…"

* * *

 

"One week is like ages for me and B…"

"We were busy with Christmas and Hanukkah; did I mention that yesterday was the last day of Hanukkah and she didn't even mention it?"

"Wow!"

"Rachel forgot Hanukkah? That's super weird…"

"I'm telling you, she is… I don't know; am I fat? That's it, I'm fat…"

"Here we go again…" Santana huffs soundly and shifts on the couch.

"You're not fat Quinn, you're super hot, as always; you even hotter now… you know; you're a hot mama… in fact…"

"She got it Britt…"

"What? You think she is hot too…"

"Whatever, it didn't impress me…" Santana teases.

"Ha! Right… You were the wrong brunette anyway…"

"And you were the wrong blonde…"

"Fair…"

"But seriously Quinn, Rach loves you… whatever is going on in that diva head of hers, I can assure you that she is not questioning you guys…"

"Yeah… I'm not so sure…"

"You're overreacting, that's Rachel influence…"

"No, S, I'm not…"

"Quinn, San is right, Rachel loves you… did she do something that made you doubt that?"

The blonde shrugs on the couch between her bestfriends.

"Q?" Santana inquiries. "Is she cheating on you? Because if she is, I swear to God that…"

"No, I mean, I don't think so…"

"That's ridiculous, we shouldn't even be thinking about it…" Brittany says adamantly.

"Kate flirted with her again, at my mother Christmas' party…"

"Did she flirt back?" Santana frowns.

"No, but she did nothing, again…"

"What you wanted her to do?" Brittany pouts.

"I don't know B…"

"You know what? I think I need to evoke snixx and put that fucking bitch on her place… I'll give her a lesson…"

"I would like that, really, but we can't…"

"Why not? She is over eighteen…"

"She is twenty two, but no, we can't; mom would kill me… you know what piss me off? She keeps hitting on Rach and Rachel still thinks I'm overreacting, I'm seeing too much…" She sighs.

"Rachel likes to see the bright side of people…" The blue eyed woman smiles.

"Baby, that Kate girl? She wants Rachel to see her something else…"

"They were fighting again…" Beth appears in the living room holding two girls in her arms.

"They are never gonna be friends…"

"San!" Brittany frowns at her wife.

"What? Toni is her mother's clone…"

"Yes she is…" Rachel just arrived.

"Mommy!" Beth puts Toni down and the little girl runs to her mother, Rachel holds her. "Amy was mean again…" Toni complains and Rachel looks at the girl in Beth's arms.

"You're being dramatic Toni…" Beth teases.

"I not dramatic!" Toni frowns at her sister.

"You're not…" Rachel kisses her. "what did Amy do?"

"She said I don't know sing…" The little girl pouts.

"Oh!" Rachel opens her mouth dramatically. "Oh no… she is just jealous baby…"

"Rachel, Amy is not even three yet… don't encourage the competition between them…" Quinn reprimands her wife.

"I wasn't,"

The blonde stares at her.

"So, you finally decided to show up?" Santana teases her. "What?"

Rachel stares at her fondly. They got close, very close when they were in college, but after that night, they grew apart, Santana's loyalty is with Quinn and Rachel wouldn't have it any other way. But she missed the sharp, bitter, sarcastic Latina so much; and Brittany, the sweet blonde girl managed to at least mantain some kind of contact, but it wasn't the same.

"Nothing," Rachel puts Toni down and gets close to Santana; she grabs the Latina's hand and pulls her out of the couch. The Broadway star hugs her tight. It's been a long time.

"Rach!" They pull away. "What's gotten into you?"

"What? Can't I hug you?" She smiles "Hi B…" She didn't need to pull Brittany, the blonde woman quickly gets on her foot. They hug each other happily. "I missed your smell…"

Rachel whispers in their embrace.

"Everything is gonna be okay…" Brittany winks at her. For a moment she could swear that Brittany knew. The former cheerio has been always perspicacious with this kind of thing.

_Brittany! She will be my help… of course!_

"Yeah…" Rachel turns to the girl in Beth's arms. "And you? You're beautiful, do you know it?" She takes Amy in her arms and the girl smiles at her. "I'll be right back girls…" Rachel hands Amy to Brittany, she smiles at Quinn and walks away.

"That was weird; normally she annoys me with her sappiness over you…"

"Who wants to watch TV?" Beth asks the two little girls and turn on the TV. They settle in front of the TV.

"I told you, she is weird…" Quinn sighs.

"What if she was kidnapped by aliens and replaced by a clone…" Brittany says thoughtful.

The two women look at her with amazed eyes; because, really, Brittany hasn't changed at all.

* * *

 

Meanwhile…

Rachel is sitting in the bed, her bed. She is trying to recover herself; her head is a mess, a mix of emotions.

"Figure out, figure out… Figure what out? I'm a terrible daughter?" She closes her eyes. After some seconds she opens it again. "Okay… it didn't work…how am I supposed to do this?"

She doesn't know how she will refrain from Quinn or how she will stop the blonde's affections. She is not the Rachel that Quinn thinks she is. No… I'm the idiot that let her go… She hopes to go through all this without breaking Quinn's heart. Again… Rachel stands up and leaves the bedroom she can't avoid her family forever.

When she reaches the living room the girls are watching a movie.

"Yay! That's one of my favorites…" Rachel gets close to them.

"We know…" Beth says her eyes never leaving the TV.

"He is gonna sing! I love this song!"

Jack starts singing and the little girls sing along.

_What's this? What's this?_

_There's color everywhere_

_What's this? T_

_here's white things in the air_

_What's this?_

_I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming Wake up, jack, this isn't fair_

_What's this?_

Beth laughs at the two girls and their attempts to sing. Amy basically just mimics the noises, but Toni is actually impressively coordinate.

_What's this? What's this?_

_There's something very wrong_

_What's this?_

_There are people singing songs_

_What's this?_

_The streets are lined with Little creatures laughing_

Rachel watches her daughter, she is smiling from ear to ear, her lips are tingling; she wants to sing too. So she sings.

_Everybody seems so happy Have I possibly gone daffy?_

_What is this? What's this?_

Soon the song becomes a Rachel Berry's presentation.

_There are children throwing snowballs here Instead of throwing heads_

_They're busy building toys And absolutely no one's dead_

 

The girls are loving it though.

 

_There's frost on every window_

_Oh, I can't believe my eyes_

_And in my bones I feel the warmth_

_That's coming from inside_

 

She goes to her daughter and squeezes her nose.

 

_Oh, look What's this? They're hanging mistletoe,_

_they kiss Why that looks so unique, inspired_

_They're gathering around to hear a story_

_Roasting chestnuts on a fire_

_What's this?_

_What's this?_

"Exactly…"

Rachel looks quickly behind.

"I was just… you know…"

"Being a freak?" Santana teases her.

"How did you get a boyfriend in high school? Yeah right, Finn…"

"Hey!" Rachel crosses her arms.

"What? Just confess Rachel, you were weird…"

"She was not…" Quinn says promptly.

"I think we all were a little weird…"

"I agree with you Britt, besides I conquered the heart of the most popular boy in school…"

"What did you say?" Quinn frowns.

"The truth?" Rachel smiles, she is apparently unaware of the blonde's subtle change of mood. Santana gestured to her and mouthed the words: Fucking idiot… But she didn't get the hint and Quinn goes back to the kitchen.

"Have I missed something?"

"Not really, it's one of her tantrums…" Santana rolls her eyes.

"But why?"

"You really don't know? Wow…" Brittany starts looking at Rachel in a weird way; like she can see through her friend. "Rach, you conquered the heart of the most popular girl in school, remember? Or you just remember Finn?"

"Oh…" Rachel gets the hint. "It's not that… I still haven't got used to the fact that she is in love with me…"

"You're together for more than six years…" Santana states confused.

"It feels like one day…"

"I understand what you mean; I feel the same way about Santana…" Brittany winks at her wife.

"I'll see if she is okay…"

Rachel gets in the kitchen and finds Quinn filling a glass with wine.

"Are you okay?"

"Perfect." She answers sharply.

"Really?"

"Really…"

"Do you know what would've happened if Finn and I, if we had gotten married?"

"You would have got your happy ending?" She drinks a big swig.

"Not even close… we would have divorced…"

"How do you know?"

"I just know…" They look at each other. Quinn is trying to decode her wife.

"I hope you are not killing each other in here…"

Brittany and Santana get in the kitchen.

"We're not…" Quinn grimaces at her friend. "Wine?"

"I'll drive…"

"I want!" Brittany shouts and takes a glass.

"You know you guys can stay here, right?"

"Yeah, why don't you stay?" Rachel asks.

"Mama wants to enjoy our presence as much as possible before we have to leave…"

"Where will you guys stay on New Year's Eve?"

"We told you already…" Santana gets confused.

"Yes, of course… I think I wanna a glass too…"

They start talking about trivial things. Then, they start reminiscing their old memories while they are cooking dinner.

"Okay, I was a little annoying…"

"A little?" Santana laughs.

"Most of the time I wanted to take one of your hideous socks and stick into your mouth."

"My socks weren't hideous…" She turns to Quinn. "Quinn, were my socks hideous?"

"Nope…" The blonde says promptly.

"Whoa! That's awesome, now I know how you feel B… I should've used this power at school, you know, I could make her do whatever I wanted…"

"Like, make her be your bridesmaid and almost have killed her…"

Rachel clenches her jaw.

"What the fuck Santana!" Quinn complains.

"Sorry, is the wine…"

"You're not drinking!"

"Exactly…" she teases.

"San…"

"Sorry…"

"I just wanted you there…" Rachel pouts.

"And I wanted to be there, let's not talk about it okay?" Rachel smiles at her.

"Okay…"

They dined and lost track of time; it was late in the night when they were finally saying goodbye.

"Okay, two hugs are too much for one day…"

"Not for a Berry…"

"I'm not a Berry so…"

"Ugh, come here already…" Rachel pulls her friend into a hug.

"You don't have to ask me," Brittany hugs her tight.

"Bye guys…" Quinn says to her daughter: "say bye to Amy, Toni."

"Bye Amy!"

"Bye Toni!" They all smile amazed by the two girls.

"Bye Amy." Beth says to the girl.

After they were gone Rachel sighs soundly.

"What?" Quinn asks her.

"I just realized; I love them…"

"You just realized?"

"Yeah…" She smiles.

"I'm going to my bedroom. I'm going to read a little…" beth informs them.

"Okay baby, kiss?"

Beth kisses Quinn. Then she goes to Rachel and kisses her too.

"It's time to this young lady to go to sleep…"

"I'll put her to sleep…"

"I get the dishes then?"

"I can help you too…"

"I'm kidding, just go to bed…" She winks at her wife and Rachel gets a little nervous.

* * *

 

"They are asleep…"

Quinn bursts in their bedroom.

"Rach, I said they are asleep…"

Rachel takes her eyes off the TV.

"That's a good thing, you know, to sleep is very important to good health, especially in their age…"

The blonde turns off the TV.

"I was actually watching that…"

"Not tonight…" She climbs onto the bed eating Rachel with her eyes.

"You want me, don't you?" The brunette teases.

"Huh, yeah…" Quinn kisses her but Rachel is a little uncomfortable with the sudden intimacy; she pulls back, a little nervous.

"We should go slow…"

"No, Baby, I don't want to go slow, not tonight…"

"Okay…"

Quinn gets on top of her this time and starts kissing her again. Rachel gives in to her body's desire. She runs her hand through blonde hair and deepens the kiss; then she shifts their position never separating their lips. When she is on top she pulls away.

"Oh my God… you're beautiful…"

"Thanks…" The blonde tries to press their lips together again.

"No, I… you're stunning…"

"I love the way you say it…" Quinn says with moony eyes.

"You were a very pretty girl, you know, the prettiest girl I've ever met," She smiles at the blonde. "there's no question about that. But this...you've really grown into a beautiful woman..."

They stare at each other fondly.

"How… how can you do that?"

"What?"

"Look at me like you haven't seen me every day for the last six years?"

"I…"

Quinn kisses her passionately. "Just wait a second, remember that lingerie I bought? Hold on a second…"

"Okay…" The blonde goes toward her closet and then to the bathroom. Rachel nibbles her lip nervously. She turns around and closes her eyes. When Quinn emerges from the bathroom she gets charmed and a little disappointed. She covers up the brunette, takes her Yale shirt and goes to bed too. Then she kisses Rachel's cheek and cuddles her wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs! 
> 
> "What's this?" (The nightmare before christmas soundtrack)
> 
> "Come see about me" (the supremes or glee cast if you prefer)


	4. Ghosts of the past

Rachel is sure she will get crazy. She wakes up feeling Quinn's warm body against hers. It's funny how it feels so good, like something she's been missing without knowing. The brunette holds Quinn's hand that is resting on her waist and takes it to her mouth, kissing it sweetly. She starts thinking about the previous night; she honestly doesn't remember the last time she got so… excited? Turned on? Aroused? She should win an award because pretending to be asleep when all she wanted was just… well, Quinn… she wanted, actually, she still wants; she wants Quinn.

_Shower… now…_

She gets out of bed carefully and goes to the bathroom. She strips very fast, gets inside the stall and starts showering. She and Finn haven't had sex in two months (make it three because the time she is counting, she technically didn't get there…) and they were sleeping in separated beds for weeks. They never really had trouble with their sexual life, not in the first years. But it wasn't just about the sex; the whole marriage wasn't working anymore. She is not a enthusiastic when it comes to masturbation, is not that she doesn't like it, she used to do it once and while before her first time, she just never felt the need or the urge that she is certainly feeling now. Technically, she knows that her abstinence was happening in the other life; in this life, she could've had sex with Quinn the day before she got here. Maybe is the lack of sex and the fact that, yes, Quinn makes her hot, but right now all she knows is that she needs some relief.

Rachel puts one hand on the wall; the water going down her body. She starts thinking about a certain blonde and how it would be like to touch her skin, to make her moan; unconsciously her hand starts going down on her wet body toward her throbbing center. When her fingers reach its destination she releases a moan. She knows that she needs to be quiet so she nibbles her lip. She was completely focused on her pleasure to notice the door opening.

"I've got to pee…"

_Fuck… the door…_

She forgot to lock the door.

"Are you masturbating?" Quinn gets close and opens the glass door.

"No! I'm not…" Rachel tries to cover herself. "I'm just kidding…"

Quinn looks at Rachel's chest and notices that the brunette is trying to hide her prizewinners.

"Could you give me the towel?"

"Sure…" She frowns.

"The bathroom is all yours…" Rachel walks toward the bedroom. When the blonde exits the bathroom, Rachel is already dressed.

"Is something wrong?" She tries out.

"What you mean?" Quinn sighs heavily. "Never mind…" she leaves the bedroom.

Rachel starts searching for a cell phone. She needs her friend. After a long search she gives up and goes downstairs.

"Quinn, do you know where is my phone?" She probably has one right?

"You mean the one you lost?"

"Yeah? Can I use your phone then? I need to call Kurt, he is here in Lima and I want to see him…"

"Today?"

"Well… yeah…"

"Rach, you promised Beth you'd go shopping with her, we're going to the mall this afternoon…"

"Can't we go another day?"

"No, San and B are going to meet us there; you can see him tomorrow…"

"But he'll return to New York tomorrow…"

"What?" Quinn is confused "He is not, he will stay…"

She forgot that everything is different here; how is he? She knows he got into Broadway too because of the pictures. What Kurt thinks about her marriage?

"Well, I think, shopping then?"

* * *

 

 

At afternoon, as previously planned, they go to the mall to shopping. Beth wants to buy new clothes and shoes to New Year's Eve. Santana and Brittany meet them there.

Rachel is enjoying being anonymous again when she is recognized by a couple of Broadway enthusiastic. She naturally is cordial and solicit.

"Seems Lima has fanatics Broadway weirdos too…" Santana teases her.

"Well, I'm born here after all…" They walk in a store that Beth told them.

"You're weirdo, so…"

"Yeah…" She giggles. "Why did you let me give up of my dreams?" She asks Quinn nonchalantly.

"What?"

"I mean, you broke my heart that day in the auditorium because, using your words: I don't belong here… and now I'm here? At that time I got heartbroken because, yeah I was obsessed with Finn, but you know, I've matured and of course you saying that you loved me helped a lot but I… I realized that you wanted me to focus on my dream… " She gets thoughtful and Quinn stares at her with a mix of curiosity and perplexity. "Please don't get me wrong, I'm trying to figure things out here Quinn, I'm trying to understand why I, Rachel Berry, why I'm living here in Lima? Miles away from Broadway, Broadway, my biggest dream since I was a little girl…"

The blonde's opens her mouth incredulous. "Are you saying… are you saying that you regret? Are you blaming me?"

"It's not that, I just want to understand…"

"I don't regret, I'd do all over again, you weren't living anymore, yes, I brought us here, and I'm so happy for this!"

"I could be a Tony winner by now… I could be so much more Quinn, I'm trying to understand why you'd let me give up of this… Why would you let me live here when my destiny is to shine on Broadway?"

"I can't believe it… It makes me sad to hear your life is such a disappointment to you…"

"I can't believe it's not a disappointment to you! I could've been a star; how could you let me give up on my dreams like this?!"

"What? Who are you?" For the first time Quinn looks at her wife as she is a complete stranger and Rachel remembers the day that Finn and her had their final fight:

_**"Who are you?"** _

_**"What? Well I am me…"** _

_**"No, you're not, you're different… you're arrogant, vain, smug and selfish."** _

_**"Oh wow, listen up everyone, news flash… Finn Hudson just called Rachel Berry selfish…"** _

_**"Do you wanna know what's different? I was a stupid boy who couldn't see the amazing girl you were; Rach, you loved each one of us, even when you were focusing on your dreams and getting lost in your ambition you've always put your friends first, I was wrong, you weren't selfish, you were the opposite of this, you were the best of us all… but now? I don't recognize you anymore…"** _

_**"Why? Just because I don't want to go to a stupid meeting? I'm already going to visit my dads on Christmas, I can't leave New York now; you know I have an agenda…"** _

_**"This isn't working anymore, I'm done…"** _

_**"Are you breaking up with me? Again?" She says sarcastically. "Fine, whatever, you're right this marriage isn't working anymore…"** _

_**"I was talking about this conversation…" He gets shocked.** _

_**"Do you want to get divorced?"** _

_**"I…"** _

_**"Since when?"** _

_**"We aren't happy Finn…"** _

_**"Oh my God! There's someone else?"** _

_**"No! Of course not… I would never…"** _

Technically, she was being honest.

"I'm not the Rachel you think I am…"

"Please tell me what's going on? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?"

"Yes, you fell in love with me…" Rachel says in a low voice. For Rachel, she will never deserve Quinn's love. But to the blonde her statement sounded as a rejection.

"What you mean?" She says weakly; her voice betrayals her insecurity. Santana steps in.

"Guys, you don't want to do this here, right?" She says earnestly.

"Yeah, let's just help Beth…" Brittany adds with her daughter in her arms.

"You guys do that… I'm going to buy my phone…" She turns to Quinn "Can you tell me what my credit card's password is? I don't… I don't know what it is…"

"You mean you forgot?" Quinn is bewildered.

"Yeah, something like that…"

"You mean you forgot my birthday…"

"Oh…" _How corny…_ "Quinn Fabray's birthday… February 1st…" She smiles and drops her eyes. "I didn't forgot, I always send you messages; but you just ignore them…" She says it more to herself, and then she looks at Quinn again. "Like you used to do in high school…"

"What you're talking about?"

"Nothing, I'll see you guys later…" She turns around to leave the store when again, she bumps on Kate.

"We do that a lot hmm?" Kate takes advantage of her position to stroke Rachel's arm and glare at Quinn at the same time.

"Apparently, uh… Kate, right?"

The young woman giggles.

"Yeah… Hi Quinn, hi Toni, hi Beth, how are you?"

"Don't talk to my daughters." Quinn says roughly.

"Did I do something wrong?" She says cynically.

"Besides being born?" Santana says annoyed. Kate looks at the three women in front of her.

"Well, enjoy your shopping little monster…" She kisses her younger sister and turns to Rachel.

"Bye Rach…"

"Bitch…" Santana says as soon as the woman walks away.

"She has the nerve to talk to my daughters…"

"Mom, can we look around?" Beth asks.

"Sure baby…"

Beth and Mary walk away to find some clothes.

"I thought she was a friend… wasn't she at your mother's party?" Rachel says innocently. "Are you this naïve or you're just being stupid?"

"Santana…" Quinn complains.

"What? I have to say it, since you got soft, cause the Quinn Fabray I knew, the Quinn Fabray you used to be, she would put that bitch in her place without moving a finger, and then she would fuck her hobbit in the nearest bathroom…"

"Totally…" Brittany nods. Quinn rolls her eyes and Rachel blushes.

"I've gotta go…" She starts walking but her daughter follows her.

"Mommy!"

Rachel looks behind and smiles; she then stretches out her hand to the little girl.

* * *

 

Her purchase was pretty fast. She got back to the store but they weren't there anymore. It was when she remembered she doesn't have Quinn's number.

"Hi daddy…" Thank God her daddy's number is still the same.

"I'm fine… look, can you give me Quinn's cell phone number? I need to call her… well, I just forgot, and I'm with a new phone… can you just give me? Wait… okay, thanks daddy…" She calls Quinn.

They are at the food court, Quinn tells her.

"Come on little thing, let's see mom…"

When they get close to the others, Toni runs to her blonde mother.

"Hi sunshine." Quinn holds her. Rachel smiles at them.

"Brittany? Can I talk to you?"

"Sure…"

"Just, come on…" Rachel holds the tall blonde's arm and drags her away from the others.

"I need you to promise me that everything I'll say will be just between us, okay?"

"Okay… I guess…"

"I need your help," She nibbles her lip "Say I am a little off my track…"

"What you mean?"

"My memory…"She trails off ."That's it! My memory, it can happen, I read about it… I'm temporally memoryless…"

"It was the aliens? Are you a clone?"

"No," Rachel frowns a little. "I'm not…so, can you help? But you can't tell anyone…"

"Okay, as long the aliens doesn't hurt my family…"

"Brittany I'm not an alien, just don't tell anyone…"

"How can I help?"

"You'll know…" She walks toward her family.

She sits on Beth's side which means in front of Quinn. They look at each other and then she looks away. Rachel takes her phone and automatically she has an idea.

 _Rachel Berry_. She types her name on the search.

**_Rachel Barbra Berry (born December 18, 1994), known professionally as Rachel Berry, is a Broadway star._ **

Rachel Berry at the 2018 Tony's.

**_Rachel Berry celebrates with friend Kurt Hummel his birthday: this is the first time that the Broadway star came to New York after the tragedy involving herself and her mother._ **

"What tragedy?" The others stare at her. "It's just… never mind"

She gets back to her search. She clicks on the link.

**_To the Broadway fans that missed this two together. Aren't they cute?_ **

But it was just one of that superficial news.

She decides to go back to the link with her web biography. She skips the initial description.

After the tragic death of her mother, she retired from the stage and moved to Lima, Ohio, her hometown. She was in the middle of a musical and in the prime of her career.

Rachel is getting sick.

More research.

**_Rachel was in her dressing room when a drunken Jason broke into the room and threatened her with a gun. Shelby appeared right after and unfortunately was hit by an accidental shot. Apparently Rachel and Jason were fighting when Shelby stepped in to protect her daughter. Jason said he had no intention of shooting…_ **

Rachel stands up knocking down her chair. They all can see she is disturbed. She walks toward the restrooms.

_Jason… Jason… Jason! Bastard!_

She storms in the nearest stall and immediately she throws up. She starts crying and sobbing.

Quinn enters in the room and finds her wife throwing inside the stall.

"Rach? Are you okay?" She is concerned. Rachel gets out and goes to the sinks. "You need something?" She washes her face and mouth then she takes a paper towel to dry her face and hands. Rachel looks at Quinn with red eyes. She gets close and hugs the blonde; she hugs Quinn as if she wouldn't get another chance to do it.

"I just need you…"

"I'm here, babe I'm here… please tell me what's going on…"

"I'm sorry; you just did what you had to do… I'm so stupid Quinn…"

"You're not… let's go home so I can take care of you, okay?"

"I don't deserve you…"

"Don't say that, look at me…" Quinn cups Rachel's face with her hands forcing the brunette to look up. "I love you; I'll always love you, no matter what…" Rachel nods.

Quinn takes her out of the bathroom but she couldn't help noticing that once again Rachel didn't say I love you too.

* * *

 

"I'm sorry Quinn, you know, in that store I was…" She sighs. "I don't wanna fight with you… not anymore." Quinn keeps her eyes on the road; she is driving them home. "I didn't mean to throw everything on you… I…"

"Somehow I understand you; it was your dream…"

"No, I was being an idiot; I should've known…" She keeps looking out the window. "You would never get me away from my dreams…" she whispers.

"Do you wanna know why was easy for me to let everything behind?" Rachel looks at her. "Because you're my biggest dream Rachel, so no matter where we are, every single day that I wake up by your side it's a dream come true to me…" The brunette holds her tears and smiles weakly.

"I thought you were more ambitious, I mean, you used to be very ambitious Quinn Fabray, how could you settle with me?" She teases.

"I don't know…" Quinn looks behind at her sleepy daughters. "I'm crazy about your legs…"

"Really?"

"Don't play dumb, you know I'm crazy about them…"

Rachel laughs. "But seriously, I'm sorry you had to give up of your career because of me…"

"First of all, it wasn't your fault and as I said I don't regret… yes, I love to act but I'm fine with just writing the plays…"

"You write plays!" Rachel shouts out of the blue.

"Stop joking, I'm serious…" Quinn giggles.

"You're awesome, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I know…"

"So, you pay the bills… I mean, I hope you do because I am a poor housewife…" Quinn bursts out in laugh.

"You, a housewife? And yeah, right, poor…" They laugh all the way home.

When they got home the first thing Quinn did was to send her to bed. "Just rest, I'm going to do your favorite tea…"

"Okay, thank you…"

The blonde kisses her cheek and covers her up.

"I'll be right back." The good news is that she won't have to worry about the blonde's attacks tonight.

* * *

 

 

"Berrylicious!"

"Kurt!" The two best friends hug each other lively. They are still in the doorway.

"Come in!"

"Where is Blaine?"

"He is coming, take a seat; I'm sorry we didn't see each other on Christmas, how is Judy by the way?"

Rachel smiles and sits.

"What?"

"Nothing, I mean, you're asking about Judy… Quinn's mother… my mother in law…"

"Yeess… why?"

"She is fine, really fine…" She shakes her head still smiling.

"Good,"

"How is Broadway?"

He nibbles his bottom lip. "Great, huh… did you think about what I said?" He tries out.

"About what?"

"Your return… you know, to Broadway…"

"You want me to return?"

"It's where you belong Rach, I know it will be difficult but…"

"Somehow…" She nods. "What you mean?"

"Rach!" Blaine gets in the living room.

"Blaine!" She stands up and hugs her friend.

"Sorry about Christmas…"

"It's okay…"

"How is Judy?" She giggles and Blaine looks confused at Kurt.

"She is fine…"

"Our starlight is weird…" Kurt teases.

"More than you can imagine…"

After the hugs they talked and talked through the afternoon.

"I have to go boys…"

"Already?" Kurt pouts. Rachel giggles."But hey, promise that you'll think about that thing, okay?"

"Okay…"

* * *

 

After the good bye Rachel drove to Judy as Quinn had asked her.

"Hi Rachel come in," Judy welcomes her.

"Hi Judy." Rachel hugs her mother in law.

"Beth is still at Susan's…"

"Oh, should I call her?"

The older woman giggles. "I'm afraid that won't work… unless your name is Quinn Fabray…"

She is starting to understand why she is the favorite mother.

"I'm going to get her… I'm still her mother." Rachel tries to be firm.

"Sure…" Judy teases.

Rachel goes to the neighbor's house. She walks toward the doorway and then she rings the bell.

"Hi…"

"Hi…" The young woman welcomes Rachel with a winsome smile.

"I-I… I came to pick Beth up…"

"I know… rumor has it that you weren't feeling good yesterday… What do you have the flu or something?"

"Something like that…"

"Need a nurse?" She winks.

"You're a nurse?"

"If that's what you want..." She arches an eyebrow. "I'll go get Beth for you…" Kate turns around to leave.

Rachel follows her with her eyes, she is finally getting the whole situation.

"Wait a second…" She looks around and lowers her voice. "Are we?"

"Are we what, Rach?"

"Is there something going on between us?"

Kate is surprised. She gets closer.

"Are we finally being honest?"

"It would help me… I need to figure out a lot of things apparently…"

"Okay… I have a crush on you since I first saw you…" She smiles "I was sixteen… and you were so sexy, yes, I think you're hot and I think about you almost all the time; you know, they are very naughty thoughts… So, if you're asking me whether I'd like it to be more, the answer is yes..." Rachel gets shocked. "And Quinn would never have to know." Kate adds into Rachel's ear.

"Mommy?" Beth and Mary appear behind them.

"Beth…" Rachel cleans her throat. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, good bye Mary…"

"Bye Beth…"

"Bye…" Rachel says awkwardly.

"Bye Rach…" Kate says seductive. "I'll wait your answer…"

They are walking outside when Beth finally says.

"She is a slut."

"What? Who?"

"Kate…She doesn't love you the way mom does…"

"Why are you saying this?"

"She wants to seduce you, Mary told me…"

Rachel stops walking.

"Beth, do I look like someone easy to seduce?"

"Mary said she can have everyone she wants…" Beth frowns angrily. Rachel laughs.

"Don't worry about that, let's see your grandma and then let's go home, okay?"

The blonde girl nods.

* * *

 

"Mom! We're home!" Beth screams as soon as they cross the front door.

"I'm in the kitchen!" She goes to her mother happily. When Rachel gets in the kitchen Beth is leaving already.

"I'll go to my bedroom…" Beth Kisses Rachel's cheek.

"Okay…"

"How is Kurt?" Quinn asks.

"He is fine…" She walks absently toward the fridge. "He sent you kisses and hugs… hey, where's that chocolate cake?" She says inside the fridge.

"You mean this chocolate cake?" Rachel closes the fridges door and looks at Quinn for the first time. The blonde smiles and takes another bite.

"That's my piece. I was saving it because I got nauseated, you know it..."

"Hmmm… It's good…"

Rachel approaches the counter. "Gimme that cake…"

Quinn takes another bite. "No way… if it wasn't for me you'd be still eating that vegan crap…"

"Hey! I've become a vegetarian for option… because I wanted… now gimme that cake…" She tries to grab the plate but Quinn puts it out of her reach. "Quinn!" "You know how I love chocolate…"

They look at each other for a moment. Rachel bites her nails impatient then she attacks the blonde again but Quinn jumps out of her chair, runs out of the kitchen with the cake, laughing.

"I want that cake!" She shouts chasing the blonde through the house. Quinn runs toward the stair. She runs up, still laughing; Rachel follows her. "Quinn! I want that cake!" Rachel grabs Quinn's shirt and pulls her down playfully on top of her.

"You want the cake?"

"I want it…" She says out of breath. The blonde takes the whole piece in her hand and puts it right in Rachel's mouth. The brunette starts laughing.

"Good, right?" Rachel takes a big clump of the cake and puts into the blonde's mouth too. They start laughing again feeding each other with the cake. They stop for a moment, Rachel gulps; her breathing is erratic looking up at Quinn as the blonde smiles her sexy smile; she leans her head and bites Rachel bottom lip then she starts licking the cake on Rachel's face. She lifts her head and stares at her wife. "Oh, look, I forgot to clean here…" She leans again and kisses Rachel on the lips. The kiss grows more passionate; Quinn's tongue probing deep into her wife's mouth as Rachel kisses her back with the same intensity.

_"The way mom loves you…"_

Quinn moans and slips one hand under Rachel's shirt.

_"And Quinn would never have to know."_

Her kissing slowly moved down to Rachel's neck then to the small cleavage that is showing above the Brunette's shirt.

_Like I would ever choose her over Quinn…_

"Fucking bitch."

_Oh fuck… did I say that out loud?_

"What?" Quinn stops kissing her.

_Yes I did…_

"I wasn't talking to you, I was thinking about Kate…"

"What?!"

"No, no no no… it's not what you're thinking…"

Quinn gets up and heads up the steps.

"Quinn…" She shuts the bedroom door and locks it from inside.

"Quinn!" Rachel bangs the door with her head. "Idiot, idiot…"

She goes downstairs and finds an excited Luna.

"It seems I'm in the doghouse tonight… come on, let's take a walk…"

* * *

 

Back to the house Rachel gives the dog a pat on the rump, then takes off her coat, hanging it and the leash on a hook by the door. Rachel throws herself on the couch and takes a deep breath. She looks at the TV in front of her and something calls her attention. She stands up and goes toward the movies gathered neatly. She takes the ones that seem to be the family's personal movies. She chooses one randomly and puts on the blue ray.

 _"Shhh…"_ She recognizes her voice. _"I need to be quiet… she is still sleeping…"_ She giggles. _"Today I'm going to share with the world a extraordinary thing… it is something magical…"_

The camera goes through the hallway until Rachel reaches her bedroom.

_"Look that… isn't she the most beautiful woman alive?"_

_"Rach!"_ Rachel giggles happily.

 _"Look this…"_ She zooms in. _"How can she be this beautiful in the morning? Ain't I right? Is magic…"_

_"You're crazy…"_

Rachel straddles the blonde and keeps filming. "But you love me…"

_"I do… but you're crazy…"_

_"So say it, I need it recorded…"_

_"I'm not going to say it now…"_

_"Say it!"_

_"No…"_

_"Come on…" She starts tickling Quinn. "Okay, stop it!"_

_"Come on babe…"_

_"I love you Rachel Berry…"_

She is mesmerized by the video and how Quinn is looking at her. The blonde is completely loose and happy and beautiful; Quinn is really beautiful, she thinks. She couldn't help but thinking:

_Is this the life I would have if I…_

"If I had said I love you… if I…" She starts thinking about that night again.

**_Flashback:_ **

_"I need to tell you something…"_

_"Okay," The blonde closes her eyes. Her hands are shaking._

_"Hey, it's okay… it's me…" Rachel holds her hands._

_"I'll be straight…" She sighs, "I love you." She bursts out the words._

_"Oh, I love you too…" Rachel says happily, her denial taking control._

_"No, I meant, I'm in love with you Rach…" Rachel freezes eyes wide open._

_"Please say something..."_

_"I..." She shakes her head violently "No, no, no!"_

_Rachel stands up abruptly and goes toward the exit._

_"Rach…" Quinn follows her outside. "Rach…"_

_"No, you can't do this…"_

_"I, I really love you…"_

_"As a friend… look, we got really close, more even actually, you're just confused…"_

_"Rach! Look at me! I'm not confused…"_

_"Yes, you are… you don't love me… you can't love me, I can't…" She starts crying._

_"I do Rach… please; I'm in love with you… I've been loving you too long…" Quinn gets close to her._

_"Don't do that please…"_

_Tears run down Quinn's face. Rachel lifts her hand and wipes the blonde's tears._

_"Please, I need you to be my friend…"_

_"I don't know if I can do it anymore…"_

" _Please…"_

_"Just look into my eyes, look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me…"_

_"I do love you Quinn…" Rachel whines._

_"No! You know what I mean…" Quinn gets a little closer their faces almost touching each other._

_"Tell me…"_

_"I'm sorry… I don't… I don't love you like that…"_

_"Okay…" She starts walking away and then she stops, she turns to Rachel and says: "You didn't look into my eyes…"_

**_Now:_ **

Rachel sighs.

"I didn't…"


	5. Midnight date

**New York (2016)**

"Rachel? What happened? Where is Quinn?" Kurt asks her, he is concerned; Rachel looks behind and sees her two friends walking toward her. After Quinn walked away she just stood there crying and sobbing.

"Let's just go home…"

"Jesus Berry, You're crying? What the hell happened?"

"Please, let's just go home…" They both nod and then they go to Rachel's and Santana's apartment. When they get there they find Quinn packing.

"Quinn, what the hell happened?" Santana says as soon as she gets close to her friend.

"Not now Santana…"

"What?"

"What are you doing?" Rachel asks when she enters in the room but the blonde don't answer; she keeps throwing clothes inside her bag.

"Quinn!" She gets close and makes Quinn stop holding her wrist. "Stop!"

"No… I'm leaving… my key is on the coffee table."

"Are you crazy? It's late in the night."

"I can't stay."

"Because I didn't say I love you?"

Santana's eyes go wide.

"Because I'm in love with you! Because I can't stand this. I can't stand to be close to you right now…" She cries and keeps packing.

"I'm not gonna let you leave like this…" Quinn stops and sighs.

"I'll give you guys privacy…" Santana leaves them.

"I'm sorry… I, I have to go…" She closes her bag.

"No!" Rachel holds her. "Please, just stay Quinn… Why can't you stay?"

"Because it's too painful…"

"We'll be okay, we'll be friends as always… we survived high school, we can go through this…"

"I'll need time Rach… I'm sorry…"

"No, please… Quinn, no…" The blonde walks toward the door. "Please, don't go, I have a bad feeling about it, I feel like I'm gonna lose you." Rachel follows her and hugs her from behind.

"You won't. I just need time for myself." she sighs.

"I just… the last weeks have been so good, I was… I thought you could…" She sighs again and turns around to face Rachel. "I got carried away, I let myself believe, for the first time ever I believed I could have you Rach…" They look at each other. "But I can't right? I'll never have you… you're with Finn, and it will always be that way, right?" Rachel eyes go wide, she forgot about Finn. She actually forgot about Finn. True, their relationship is in a really bad moment right now. But yes, she is with Finn. "I'm a fucking idiot!" Quinn releases a sarcastic laugh. "How could I actually believe that I could compete with Finn… the saint Finn…" She looks at Rachel and says resentful. "You guys are really meant to be…"

Rachel drops her eyes avoiding Quinn's hazel ones; the blonde smiles weakly. "I'm actually this stupid…" She shakes her head. "And now I'm… I'm falling from cloud nine…"

_Crashing from the high_

Rachel stares at her speechless.

_I'm letting go tonight Yeah, I'm letting you go…¹_

Quinn stops singing.

"You're just confused Quinn because you had a gay experience with Santana… you're not even gay…"

"Can you stop?! That was ages ago… that is not the reason why I opened up my heart to you… I'm not confused Rachel… I love you! I love you since forever…"

"I…"

"You were Beautiful today…" She says tearful and cups Rachel's face. Quinn kisses Rachel's forehead fondly.

"Please, stay…" Rachel says in a low voice.

"Good bye Rach…"

* * *

 

**_Lima, Ohio (2022)_ **

Sweet backache!

A backache, this is her prize for sleeping on the couch.

_Great…_

She stands up and stretches out her arms then she goes upstairs. Quinn is not in their master bedroom. She looks at the clock: eight o'clock in the morning. She throws herself on their bed and soon she passes out. An hour later she wakes up with Toni on top of her.

"Hi mommy."

"Hi sweetie… where is mom Quinn?"

"In the shower!" the little girl shouts playfully and stands up on the bed. Rachel starts laughing.

"Oh my god! You're looking like a miniature of me… who gave you this?"

Toni is wearing a nightdress that is an exact copy of the outfit Rachel wore at The Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza on junior year.

"Mom Quinn!" She starts jumping and says smiling; Rachel melts.

"You're all green and cute…" Toni jumps out of the bed and starts running and Rachel melts a little bit more at her cuteness.

"Where are you going?"

"Jump on Beth…" Rachel laughs.

"Get back here little girl…" Quinn says as she is exiting the bathroom.

"What I've said about you upsetting you sister?"

"She likes I jump her…" Toni pouts. She smiles a little but keeps firm.

"Just wait mom to get dressed…" Toni climbs up and throws herself dramatically on the bed with her head against the mattress.

"I can make her breakfast," Rachel smiles at the girl. Quinn ignores Rachel and starts getting dressed."Where were you? Earlier today, I looked for you but you weren't here…" The bathrobe goes down, Rachel looks away. "Will you ignore me?" The blonde remains silent. She finishes dressing.

"Let's go Toni…"

"I want mommy…"

"I said let's go Antoinette…" She says resolute. Toni pouts but obeys.

"Quinn…" Quinn walks out of the bedroom. Rachel exhales audibly and lays again. What am I going to do? She frowns.

_Hey… I'm Rachel Berry! I don't give up without fighting! What did you do when she quit glee club sophomore year?_

"I got her back!"

_What did you do when she quit glee club senior year?_

"I got her back again… kind of… well, at least I tried… she got back…" She smiles. "All blonde and beautiful…"

Rachel starts her morning routine. Then she goes to her closet. She wants to be good so she takes her skin tight jeans; well, Quinn said that she loves her legs… She takes a deep breath and goes downstairs.

* * *

 

"Mom, why you insist on putting this thing on her…"

"I like, is pretty…"

"You don't know anything about fashion…"

"I know!"

"You don't not even know what fashion is, little thing…"

"I know!"

Rachel walks into the kitchen in this exact moment.

"Beth!" Quinn turns around and sees her wife.

"She likes it, you know that…"

"Sorry…" Beth mumbles. Quinn gives Toni her milk.

"Where is my kiss?" She asks her daughter. Toni smiles and gives her mother a sweet kiss on the lips. Rachel smiles from ear to ear and she notices that Quinn checks her out quickly.

"Just listen to me, okay? I saw her yesterday…" She starts.

"I don't want to hear…" Quinn stares at her wife with fire in her eyes.

"Quinn, it is important; I need you to hear me…"

"I'm not gonna have this conversation in front of them…"

Beth is looking at her mothers with concern on her face.

"Beth, can you take your sister upstairs?"

"Okay…" She nods. "Come on Toni, I'll let you play with my games…"

"Really?" Toni eyes shine. "MmHmm…" The blonde girl holds the little brunette girl and goes to her bedroom.

"I went to her home to take Beth," Rachel says as soon as the girls leave the kitchen. "And then…"

"What? Then what, tell me," Quinn shortens the distance between them. Rachel can feel her breathing; she can feel the panic in her voice. "Tell me…" She locks her eyes onto Rachel's brown ones.

"I…" She is trying to think, really, but she is lost inside those hazel eyes that has always mesmerized her. "You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen…" She always wanted to say that, but it isn't something friends say to each other right?

"Rachel, just tell me, what happened between you and her?"

"She flirted with me." Rachel can see Quinn's jaw clenched. "I'm sorry I made you doubt me… but it's completely a one sided thing; I was kind of blind, if I know me and I do know me…" Rachel tucks her hair behind her ear. "I probably thought that someone like her would never be interested on me…"

"Excuse me?" She frowns. "This is about Rachel Berry getting attention? You wanted to feel desired; I'm not enough for you?"

"That's so not what I meant…"

"No?"

"No… She was there flirting with me and I was shocked… I thought, hey! That's why Quinn is upset with her… and then you were kissing me and all I could think was: What a fucking bitch… she is so delusional if she thinks I could choose her over you or that I could risk what we have for some meaningless sex…"

"Are you being honest?"

"Yes, just look into my eyes…tell me… am I lying?"

They lock their gazes and Quinn sees; she sees the truth in Rachel's eyes.

"I went out to a run; you know I like to run when I'm not…" she sighs. "I needed to think…"

Rachel nods.

"It's okay…"

"No, it's not… I don't like to push you away; I know that I promised that I would never push you away or hide my feelings… but I panicked; please tell me I'm not losing you… I can't lose you Rach…"

"You're not…" She cups Quinn's neck and presses their forehead together.

"Okay?" Quinn nods and Rachel pulls away to cup her face; she wipes Quinn's tears with the pad of her thumbs and slips her fingers through blonde hair.

"Come here…" Rachel pulls her into a hug. She wraps her arms around the small of Quinn's back and bites the blonde's shoulder in a very fond way."I don't like seeing you sad… I'm sorry if I made you sad…"

"Rach, I love you; you're my happiness… just don't forget this…"

"I couldn't…"

She sighs, and then she runs her nose on the blonde's shoulder until her face is nestled in Quinn's neck. She inhales deeply, loving the scent of Quinn in her nose. So close, her mouth is so close. She can't control herself; she starts with closed mouthed kisses then open- mouthed kisses and soon she is sucking and biting and licking Quinn's neck, making her moan. Her body is going insane. Her hands are out of control; they actually have their own accord right now, going down and down until they are cupping Quinn's ass. Rachel squeezes one of its cheeks and Quinn moans louder. Oh God… Rachel pulls away.

"We shouldn't be doing this here…"

"I really… I don't get it… you…"

"I'm hungry…" Rachel interrupts her, she goes to the coffee maker takes the glass pot and pours the coffee in a cup.

"Okay…" Quinn sighs, sexually frustrated.

* * *

 

The rest of the day went well. She and Toni played with dolls what was amazing because as an only child she had no one to play with when she was a kid. Friends? Yes, sure… She is Rachel Berry after all… Oh, damn you, dads! Why did you settle for only me? "Toni, just remember, you have to love you sister always, okay?"

"Okay mommy…" After that she started her practicing. She was lost in her own world singing and playing the piano when Beth approached her.

"You're amazing mommy…"

"Do you wanna join me?"

"Of course!"

"What song do you wanna play?"

"Toni's song… I love when you sing it, it reminds me of her birth, you know, when she was born; I was so excited about her… that little brat…"

"Hey, don't call her that!"

"You do spoil her too much."

"You mother do the same…"

"I know, actually, everybody spoils her too much… I'm warning you mom, she will be a self-centered, overindulged narcissistic…" She says playfully. "I just learned this words, it's from a book I'm reading…"

"Sounds like someone you know?" Quinn teases while she walks into the room; she has Toni in her arms.

"She won't be like me… I was an only child…"

"I was just kidding baby…"

"I know, but I was a little bit self-centered…"

"Was?" Quinn says playfully.

"Mom, go away… we're playing…"

"Did you hear that Toni? They're expelling us… they're not gonna win my especial hot chocolate…"

"Just for me?"

"Just for Toni…" Quinn kisses her neck. "Mmm, my baby smells so good…" Toni giggles. "Let's get our chocolate…"

"Beth not driiin-king! Beth not driiin-king!" She teases her sister.

"I will drink yours, I will drink yoooours…" "No! Mom…" Toni whines.

"She won't, she won't…" Quinn kisses her cheek. Beth rolls her eyes.

"See? Little brat…" Rachel smiles and then kisses Beth's head fondly.

"Let's play…" Quinn leaves them to make the hot chocolate.

"So, what is Toni's song?"

"Duh… you sing it to her since she born…" Rachel frowns. "Isn't she lovely, mommy…"

"Oh yeah… sure…" Her face lights up with her biggest smile; and then she starts singing. Yes, everything is just fine. But Rachel is really concerned about the night and how she would deny Quinn. Again…

* * *

 

The night came and now she is freaking out. Rachel is nervous. She is nervous because A) she still feels like she is not the one who conquered Quinn's heart therefore she doesn't deserve the blonde's affections and B) the most important thing, the reason why she is freaking out: it will be her first time with a woman; okay, technically, not the first time, more like her first time with a woman without being drunk. She has a very little experience in this department; it was more like, arms, legs, mouths and hands everywhere, mixed with a large amount of alcohol. What should she do? She puts her less sexy pajamas and goes to bed. Actually, it is not sexy at all, and if she remembers correctly, she has it since high school.

When Quinn enters in their master bedroom Rachel says promptly.

"You know what? I think we should watch these…"

"Really?"

"I miss these moments…" She lies.

"Okay…" Quinn says while she takes off her shirt.

_Oh my Barbra… Oh sweet abs… fucking hell! I'm on fire…_

"Which one do you wanna see?"

"Whichever one you want to show me…" Rachel nibbles her lip.

"Yeah, but I was talking about the movies…" Quinn smiles amused.

"Oh yeah, of course…"

Rachel stands up to put the videos. She was about to pick one randomly when she sees it. A black box; she opens it and finds more videos. She takes the one whose label is: Rachel Berry most amazing performance. She set the video and goes back to the bed.

"Are you sure you want to see that one now?"

"Sure… I always like to see myself performing, you know, so I can see how I can get better…"

"Okay…" Quinn arches an eyebrow.

"But if you don't want…"

"No, it will be interesting… it's been a while since we last saw it."

Rachel hits the play button. And she regrets instantly.

_What the actual fuck?!_

Quinn, Quinn with widespread legs.

_Hot… I'm hot… I'm hot…_

**_"Are you coming in this century?"_ **

**_"Yeah, and so are you…"_ **

The blonde on the screen laughs and the blonde out of the screen does the same, her eyes glazed on the screen.

**_"This is like those lame lines in porn movies babe…"_ **

The Rachel on the screen climbs onto bed and crawls toward Quinn's legs.

_There goes Quinn's panties. Oh fucking hell!_

She closes her eyes quickly and now she can't see the stop button. She tries them all but she is possibly pointing the remote control to the wrong direction. Quinn (the one on the screen) moans start getting louder. And Rachel starts getting hot. Who is she kidding? She is wet. She is throbbing over there.

_Hey! you can open your eyes idiot! Just don't look to the screen._

She does and quickly finds the stop button. But she forgot her rule and looks up.

_Fuck!_

Her head, Between Quinn's legs; the sexiest thing she has ever seen. But she stops the video.

"Why did you stop it?" Quinn looks at her.

"Wha-at…" She stutters.

"I can't believe we made a sex video…" She says, still overwhelmed.

"Don't look at me… you're the one who wanted to record it."

"Well… I really am a narcissist." Quinn giggles. "And you agreed with this? So, you vetoed my nude scene on that movie…but you made a sex video with my prizewinners and everything else on display?"

"Yeah, but I'm the only one who gets to see it…" She turns to her wife and grabs Rachel's breast. "And the only one who gets to touch them…" She then slides her hands under Rachel's shirt, cups her breast and squeezes it eliciting a moan from both their lips. Rachel looks down at Quinn's hand and nods. Before she could do anything the blonde pulls her underneath and gets on top of her. Quinn starts kissing her neck while her hand plays with the waistband of Rachel's pants. She starts putting it down but Rachel stops her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong; I was just thinking…"

"No, no, no thinking… let's just…" She presses their lips together.

"Yeah, but I just… I- I… I'm not in the mood…" Quinn pulls away abruptly. She takes her hand from Rachel's breast.

"You're not… we just watched ourselves fucking Rachel, and you're telling me that you're not in the mood? Cause I'm almost dying here…"

"It's not that… really, I promise you; I just… can we cuddle?" Rachel smiles hopefully. Quinn gets confused and then all of sudden her face lights up with a big smile. Rachel thought it weird but let it go, glad that Quinn wasn't arguing anymore. She lays and Quinn cuddles her right away.

"I love you…" Quinn whispers in her ear. Rachel closes her eyes and then she falls asleep.

* * *

 

The next two days the time flew by. Quinn was in a very good mood, which was a relief to Rachel. "I feel like a totally jerk!" Rachel is in their bedroom when all of sudden Quinn bursts in.

"What? Why?" She looks at her curious.

"You… you can't be mad at me… I remembered two days ago, it hits me!" She smiles widely. "we were arguing about, you know, after we watched our sex video… and I felt like an idiot…"

"What are you talking about?"

"You can stop pretending honey… okay, I'm ready to my surprise, Whatever it is…"

"What surprise?"

"You can do whatever you've got planned… should I wait outside? Or it will be after the party… of course! It will be at night… is it something naughty?"

"Quinn, I really don't know what you're talking about…"

"That's why you didn't want to have sex… Right? I mean… you wanted to make today special…"

"What you mean? What is today?"

"You forgot."

_Oh my God… I forgot our anniversary? Haha, yeah right… like I would marry on December 31… what was it then?_

"You forgot our first time…"

"Our first time?"

"Oh my God… What is going on Rachel? You don't forget these things… you remember everything, our first kiss, our first time… you celebrated our first week together; you plan our anniversary celebration with weeks in advance…" Quinn starts crying. "Is this where we are now? Is this our marriage?"

"Quinn…"

"I'm the one who has to beg for attention? What's happening? I said I love you last night Rachel and again you didn't say I love you back… you don't love me anymore, that's the problem?"

"That's ridiculous… of course I love you Quinn…"

Quinn freezes, her mouth opens wide.

"You sounded like… like before we started dating... I'm not your friend! I'm your wife!"

"What you mean? Quinn… I'm sorry…"

"No, tell me, do you love me?" "I do…"

"No! I'm not asking if you love me as your friend or someone you care about… I am asking… are you still in love with me? Do you want me Rachel? Why you don't want to make love to me? Why are you avoiding me? Tell me!"

Rachel nibbles her bottom lip astonished.

"You don't desire me anymore?" Quinn says with tears streaming down her face.

Rachel can see how torn she is. It's not fair! She looks up.

_How could I now… how could I possibly know!_

"You don't desire me anymore…" The blonde whispers sadly. Desire? Desire… Rachel closes her eyes. And let the once undesired memory taking over her mind.

**_Flashback:_ **

_"What are you doing here hobbit?"_

_"I'm sorry, is Quinn here Santana?"_

_"She is the captain; she has to be here…"_

_"I wanted to…"_

_"Hey San do you wanna come to shower with me…"Brittany appears behind the Latina. Santana eyes go wide._

_"B…"_

_"Rachel? You're a cheerio now?" Santana laughs._

_"Yeah right… let's go Britt Britt!"_

_"Hey! Wait…" They go toward the showers._

_"Quinn…" Rachel tries. She can hear the voices of the other cheerios. She is a little scared. "Quinn?" She sighs and when she is about to leave - thinking that it was a completely stupid idea to get inside the cheerios lockers - Quinn shows up._

_"Rachel?"She says annoyed._

_"Hi Quinn,"_

_Rachel looks up for the first time. And then her eyes darken with lust. It is something so powerful that her body starts shivering. All she wants is to run away from that room but her knees are far too weak. Quinn is still in her cheerios skirt. But as she is shirtless and only in her gym bra, Rachel can see all of her toned abs. How is this possible? She had a baby. Rachel thinks._

_"I'm sorry I'm trespassing upon your privacy Quinn but I have something in my possession that I believe it belongs to you… and I know how much you love your books so, I thought you'd like…"_

_"You could have given me tomorrow…"Quinn interrupts Rachel's rambling._

_"I-I… I thought you…"_

_"But I'm glad you brought it now…" The blonde girl looks at the book and smiles then she frowns and looks at Rachel again._

_"You can give it to me now…"_

_"Oh yes, sure… here it is…" She hands the book to Quinn and their hands touch each other for a brief moment what is enough to make her shiver. Rachel can't take her eyes of Quinn's torso. She is completely lost. She is full of lust and… desire…_

_"Thanks…"_

_"You're welcome…" she looks away abruptly._

_"I've gotta go!" Moments later she bursts into her bedroom._

_"I'm fine daddy, I have lot homework!" She shouts to her daddy (her dads are really very caring lately because of her break up) and then she locks the door. She takes of her sweater and her shoes and then her skirt. She throws herself on her bed._

_"What am I doing?" S_

_he nibbles her bottom lip eagerly. She spreads her legs and slides her hands under her panties. She pants and gets shocked with the wetness she finds there. She takes of the panties and starts rubbing the perfect circles, keeping a slow pace; it's when something comes to her mind; A fantasy. Quinn. But this time, she is not with her skirt, no, she is completely naked and lying on_ _Rachel's bed; Rachel is kissing all of her body, all of her skin and it's so delicious. She increases the speed and she is now furiously rubbing her clit; her heels dug into the bed as she lifts her hips. Rachel's body starts quivering all over, she twists the bed sheet in her hand; her knees raised, her legs wide open, her back arched, her head thrown back. S_

_he moans and moans and she thanks the heavens for her soundproofed bedroom. Fantasy Quinn is moaning too and screaming Rachel's name as Rachel takes her to that especial place._

_"Come for me Quinn… I'm so close… oh… oh yeah… Quinn!"_

_She screams Quinn's name as a powerful orgasm ripped through her body. The last thing she thought before she fell asleep is that this is something she will keep to herself forever. It will never happen again. "I'm just sad because of Finn… it will never happen again… never…"_

_**Now:** _

"Please don't cry… I…"

_I want you since I was sixteen… I've been wanting you since then..._

She smiles. How blind she has been; and how badly she wants Quinn. Actually, Rachel wants to have her right now, but she has a plan. Quinn wipes her tears and leaves the bedroom slamming the door behind her.

* * *

 

Rachel needed some help then she called her ally.

"Hi B…"

_"Hi Rach!"_

"Brittany, I need you, I messed up, and I need your help…"

_"What happened? Is Quinn okay?"_

"She is okay somehow… but I messed up with her… can you come over? Please just you… I don't need Santana yelling at me right now…"

Brittany arrives moments later.

"Where is she?"

"Judy… with Beth and Toni…" Rachel sighs.

"Look, we don't have much time, it's New Year's eve, you guys can't be like this…"

"I know B… How is Amy?" She says as they both sit on the couch.

"She is great, she is with San; you know San is upset, right? you probably know that she knows everything?"

"She is on Quinn's side obviously…" Brittany draws her lips into her mouth.

"What happened?"

"I forgot that today is the day that we celebrate or whatever, our first time…"

"You forgot?!" Brittany opens her mouth in disbelief.

"Well, I told you I was memoryless…"

"What do you want to do?"

"That's why I need your help…"

"You want to do a threesome?" Rachel rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"No…"

"Oh, okay…cause really, all you have to do is to tell her you love her and that she is the only one Rachel, It's Quinn, she loves you…"

"I know that B… But I want to do something special for her; she deserves the best… look at everything she has done for me…" "Yeah…" Brittany smiles.

"B? Can you tell me what happened with Shelby?"

"What you mean?"

"Tell me everything you know, please?"

"But Rachel you were there…"

"I know… like I said… I don't remember; repressed memories I guess…"

"I don't like to talk about that…"

"Please…"

Brittany exhales heavily and nods.

"You and Jason were fighting; he was drunk; Quinn, Shelby and your dads were waiting for you… Quinn told me that Shelby told them that she was having a bad feeling, especially because Blaine arrived without you… She ran to you dressing room, he was pointing a gun at you, he got scared with her arrival and when he moved, the gun…"

Rachel closes her eyes. "Why were we fighting?"

"I don't really know; he seemed to be a good guy… the shot was accidental…"

"He really seemed to be a good guy…" She tilts her head and rests it on the couch.

"About Quinn…"

"I'm going to woo her B…"

"Okay…" The dancer giggles.

"But… what she had planned for today?" Brittany gets shocked.

"I told you… I forgot…"

"We are all here, I mean finally… well, almost all, Puck is in L.A. with his annual party; he got back on Christmas' eve after he gave Beth's gift… But Kurt, Blaine, San and I are here! We're all reunited again… so we're going to celebrate on Miss Holliday's bar!"

"She has a bar?"

"Duh! And it's awesome… we can sing there! That's why Quinn wanted to go there… she knows you love to sing…" Rachel smiles her biggest smile as she thinks how true this is.

"If I know her, and I do know her… she is in one of her tantrums…" Brittany nods. "So, you have a mission… bring her to the bar… You can't fail B." The blonde nods. "Let's go! we have to kiss our ladies at midnight…"

"Totally!"

* * *

 

As they were obviously already sleeping, Amy got with Santana's mother and Toni with Judy. Beth had a party with her school friends but Quinn will pick her up right after midnight.

"Rachel!"

"Hi Kurt!"

"Where is Quinn?"

"She is coming…" He frowns.

"She is with San and B…"

"Oh…" He nods.

"But you guys are okay?"

"What do you know?"

"I called San earlier and she kind of yelled at me over the phone, she wanted to know if I knew something about your affair…"

"What affair?"

"Exactly lady, are you having an affair?"

"No! God! I'm not… I can't believe Santana; she is probably turning things worst… Quinn is already mad at me…"

"Why is she mad at you?"

"A lot of things; but it doesn't matter… I have to fix it…"

"Yes, and hey, I was wondering… let's leave that Broadway thing for later okay? You have to deal with this first…" She nods.

"What Broadway thing?" They hear Quinn's voice behind them.

"It's nothing…"

"You're lying to me! So, that's it; you're planning your return, you're planning to come back to New York behind my back! So you can shine again? I can't believe this is happening!" She turns around to leave.

"Quinn!" Rachel holds her. "It's not that, I wasn't planning anything…"

"It's true Quinn; she wasn't, it was my idea…"

"Yeah it was…" Santana glares at him.

"San…" Brittany reprimands her wife.

"Quinn, I would never plan anything without talking to you first."

"What would you do? Leave me a note on the fridge?"

"Oh God, this is so not fair!" Will she ever get it right?

"Fair? You want to talk about fair? I left L.A. to live in New York with you! since we started dating all I do is… all my life revolves around you Rach…"

_She left… she is amazing…_

"I told you you got soft…"

"Could you just stop?!" Kurt yells at her. "this is not a joke, this is their marriage!"

"I'm not joking! Berry messed up, she is fooling around…"

"I'm not!"

"Yet…"

"Okay Santana, you're really pissing me off right now…"

"You don't get to be piss off with her…"

"Are you defending her over me?"

"This isn't about sides…" Rachel realizes that they can't continue with this. They should be celebrating. "Quinn, please, let's just enjoy the night, it's the last night of the year; we shouldn't be fighting…"

"Yes Rachel, do it again, avoid our issues… you know what. You're right… let's enjoy the night, in fact… I think I'll find someone to hook up… I'm Quinn Fabray, I can have anyone I want…" They all get shocked, even Santana.

Rachel drops her eyes sadly and walks away toward the restrooms. When she gets inside her face is already wet with her tears. She washes her face and looks at her reflection.

_She is just upset… she didn't mean it; she is married with you…_

She takes the towel paper and dries her face.

_She just wants you, as you… as you just want her… I want her! I want her so much…_

"She doesn't deserve you…" Rachel looks at the door.

"What you're talking about?"

"You will shine again, I know it… and you will leave this mediocre town again…" Kate walks toward her.

"You shouldn't be listening to the other people conversation…"

"I shouldn't…but I couldn't help; she is not good for you…"

"Kate, just go away, please…"

The blonde young woman gets even closer. "Or you won't resist me?"

"Nooo, you will upset me, I'm sorry if somehow I've made you believe you had a chance… but I was kind of oblivious, which totally makes sense since I get really distracted when I'm around her; but really, you had none… there's just her to me, I love her… I love her… I do love her…"

Rachel gets distracted with her own thoughts. She has been so stupid; Quinn is really the love of her life. She missed her in her life. All this time… she really missed her. "Seems you have to convince yourself, huh?" "Not really…" Rachel is really distracted now.

"Maybe I can help you…" Kate gets close and forceful kisses her. Rachel didn't have time to do anything;

"Your bitch!"

She is about to push Kate away when someone else does it. When she understand the whole situation, Quinn is with her hand on Kate's chest pushing her against the stall as Kate's back hits it hard.

"You touch her again, and I swear I'm gonna kill you…"

"Let me go!" "Quinn, just let her go…" Rachel holds Quinn's waist.

"Finish her Quinn, or I will…"

"Santana! You're not helping! Quinn… sunshine, please…"

Rachel called her sunshine for the first time, way before they started dating. And after they started dating she just continued. Quinn releases Kate right away. She had missed it.

"Get out of my face." She says with annoyance. Kate faces her with fury but she leaves the bathroom.

"She kissed me Quinn, I wasn't expecting, I swear… why you're smiling?" Rachel looks at her with curiosity.

"Nothing…"

"We were listening behind the door…" Brittany says happily.

"So you were eavesdropping..."

"Kind of… Rach I'm sorry I said that stupid thing…"

"Oh this is when you guys fuck each other… oh no wait Rachel is frigid again…"

"San stop teasing them… let's go…" Brittany takes her wife's hand and they leave the bathroom.

"So you believe me now that she wants you?"

"She does?!" Rachel says playfully.

"You're really lucky I love you babe…"

"I know… I am very lucky. Come on, it's my turn to show how much I love you…"

Quinn smiles at her and then leans to kiss her but Rachel stops her.

"It's not midnight yet…" She leaves the restroom and goes toward the stage. Quinn gets close to Santana, Brittany, Kurt and Blaine.

"What is she doing?" Santana frowns. "She is gonna sing!" Brittany shouts. "I know B… but we agreed that we'd sing after midnight…"

"I know… but she has a surprise…"

"What surprise?" Quinn asks. But Brittany didn't have to answer as Rachel is already with the mic in her hand. "Hi, my name is Rachel Berry," The people in the bar cheer.

"Thanks…" Santana rolls her eyes. "You can't resist a stage right?"

"I can't…" Rachel smiles at her. "But this isn't about me… this is about my beautiful, stunning and hotter than hell wife…" Quinn blushes. Kurt and Blaine smile excitedly at each other. "Isn't she the most beautiful woman alive? I just want her to know how much I love her, Quinn, I love you… I just realized that I actually can live without you, it's just that I don't want… cause it pretty much sucks… believe me, I know… it sucks…" The whole group laughs, even Santana. "I know that I've been weird in these last days, I was just dealing with… stuff, anyway… I have to sing now…" They look at each other, a look full of meaning. And then Rachel focuses on her performance.

**_Chest to chest_ **

**_Nose to nose_ **

**_Palm to palm_ **

**_We were always just that close_ **

**_Wrist to wrist_ **

**_Toe to toe Lips_ **

**_that felt just like_ **

**_the inside of a rose_ **

**_So how come when I reach out my fingers_ **

**_It feels like more than distance between us_ **

**_In this California king bed We're ten thousand miles apart_ **

**_I bet California wishing on these stars for your heart for me My California Queen_ **

 

 

Rachel remembers like it was yesterday.

 

**_Flashback:_ **

_"So Rachel, excited to perform at the Oscars?"_

_"I'm shaking!" She laughs. "I'm really excited, and a little bit nervous, Adele got nervous, I can be nervous too…"_

_"She told me…" Ryan laughs._

_"But I'm really happy to be here, really, it's such a special movie, I got really flattered with the invitation; it's an honor…" "Okay, thank you Rachel, good luck…"_

_"Thank you…" She walks away. "_

_Rach, let's go inside already…"Finn whines. She and Finn are taking pictures when Rachel sees her._

_She is a vision. A vision in green. She is stunning with her long dress; green, matching her eyes. Imposing… Sublime… Unearthly beautiful…_

_Quinn seems to have noticed them. She walks toward their friends. "_

_Guys!"_

_"Hey there Quinn!"Finn says happily. The blonde woman hugs her tall friend._

_"Hi Rachel…" She smiles at the brunette. "Hi Quinn… It's been a long time."_

_"You're beautiful."Quinn caresses Rachel's hair._

_"Me?" Rachel says with moony eyes._

_"I've gotta go… see you guys around…"_

_"Okay…"_

_She starts walking but then turns around._

_"Rach? Break a leg…"_

**_Now:_ **

 

**_Eye to eye_ **

**_Cheek to cheek_ **

**_Side by side_ **

**_You were sleeping next to me_ **

**_Arm to arm_ **

**_Dusk to dawn_ **

**_With the curtains drawn_ **

**_And a little last night on these sheets_ **

**_So how come when I reach out my fingers_ **

**_It seems like more than distance between us_ **

**_In this California king bed_ **

**_We're ten thousand miles apart_ **

**_I bet California wishing on these stars for your heart for me My California Queen_ **

**_Just when I felt like giving upon us You turned around and gave me one last touch_ **

**_That made everything feel better And even then my eyes got wetter_ **

**_So confused wanna ask you if you love me_ **

**_But I don't wanna seem so weak_ **

**_Maybe I've been california dreamer In this California king bed_ **

**_We're ten thousand miles apart I bet California wishing on these stars for your heart for me My California Queen_ **

 

She finishes the song and leaves the stage. Her eyes never leaving her target.

"We're ten thousand miles apart?" Quinn says as soon as she gets close.

"No…" Rachel says calmly "Not anymore…"

"So…"

"I need to tell you something…" Quinn nods. "In the last few days, I felt like I was living someone else's life... I used to be so sure about everything, you know? I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted. Then one morning I woke up and suddenly it was all different..."

"For worse?"

"No… it was so good that it seemed like a dream… still seems like a dream… Quinn, I want you to know that no matter what, I love you… I have always loved you… and right now there's nowhere I'd rather be than here with you..."

"I love you so much Rachel…" She leans forward to press their lips together. But Rachel pulls away quickly.

"That was our last kiss… last kiss of the year… are you ready for New Year?"

"With you? Yes…"

"Enough with the sappy! Let's drink! It's almost New Year!" Santana shouts.

They were talking and having fun when someone yelled. "Countdown guys!"

"10!"

"Where is Rach?" Quinn asks eager.

"9!"

"She went to the restroom…"

"Now?!" "8!" Quinn walks through the crowd toward the restrooms.

"7!"

"6!" Rachel was doing the same because when she heard the countdown she ran out of the toilet.

"5!"

"Quinn!" She calls out.

"4!"

"There you are…"

"3!"

"I thought you wanted to miss our date…"

"2!"

"Date?" Rachel says playfully.

"1!"

"Our midnight date…"

"0!"

Rachel smiles at her and slowly presses their lips together.

Sweet embrace of lips touching each other; the kiss goes on, long and deep as they entwine their tongues as they try to put all their heart into the kiss. And it was the best kiss of their lives. Until now, that is.

They don't want to stop; but they have to breathe.

"Wow!" Quinn says when she pulls away.

"That was just the first baby… I intend to kiss you all night long…"

"Just to kiss me?"

"Hmm… not really, I want to do a lot of things to you…"

"Okay… we need to go home now…"

Rachel giggles.

"As you wish…"


	6. At long last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally...

Warning: Sexy times.

* * *

 

The last time she felt this happy was when she won her Tony. Who is she kidding; this is way better than a Tony.

"I'm serious…" Quinn pulls her closer and whispers into her ear. "I'm positively dripping for you…" She says with her husky tone.

"Oh God…" Rachel shivers and Quinn giggles.

Oh my Barbra…

"I love you…"

"I love you back…"

"Happy New Year, my sunshine."

"Happy New Year, starlight." Quinn smiles widely.

"Happy New Year!" Kurt, Blaine, Santana and Brittany all at once embrace them.

"Happy New Year guys!" Rachel shouts animatedly.

They all hug each other joyfully, wishing happy New Year to each other.

"Drinks!" Santana shouts.

"I have to call my baby…"

Quinn announces, but before she can call her daughter her phone rings.

"Puck!" She yells. "Happy New Year!"

She is sure that she has no reasons to be jealous but her stomach spasms with the mere mention of his name.

"Puck! Ass… okay, love you… wait a second; I'm going to pass to her…"

Wow! That's how Quinn feels about Finn…

Rachel takes the phone that Quinn is offering to her.

"Happy New Year my hot Jew princess!" She rolls her eyes.

That's Puck…

"Happy New Year Noah!"

"So, where is my baby daughter?"

"You mean my baby daughter?"

"Our Baby daughter…"

Meanwhile Quinn is fumbling Rachel's purse looking for her cell phone.

"That's better… she is with friends…"

Quinn calls Beth.

"Call her… I mean later… cause Quinn is calling her now…"

"Happy New Year my baby!" Quinn shouts on the phone.

"Okay, I'll call her; enjoy your night Rach… kiss my baby mama for me; make sure it's a hot one…"

"In your dreams…"

"Yeah… many times…" He laughs.

"Noah!"

"You know I'm just kidding right? Please don't tell her…"

"We'll see…" She smirks. "Bye Noah…" She hangs up.

"Talk to your mommy…"

They shift the phones and Rachel takes hers.

"Hi honey, Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year mommy, please, could you try to persuade mom to let me sleep at Mary's tonight?"

"But how will you get there sweetie?"

"Mary's mother, Susan will pick us up… please mommy…"

"Okay, you can go…"

"But mom…"

"I'll talk to her don't worry…"

"Okay! Bye mommy, see you tomorrow!"

"She won't…" Quinn says as soon as Rachel hangs up the phone.

"Quinn…"

"I don't want Beth there anymore…"

"Quinn, Beth is with her friend; Mary has nothing to do with her sister's behavior…"

"But Rach…"

"Besides, your mother said that we can pick up Toni tomorrow, so…"

"What does that has to do with Beth?"

"We'll have the house just to ourselves…"

Quinn immediately got the hint.

"Oh…" She arches a brow.

"I thought you'd see things my way…"

They attack each other lips and they kiss with passion and yearning.

"My God you two!" Kurt complains playfully.

"Yeah, just get a room already…" Santana teases.

"Just let them be you both…" Blaine rolls her eyes playfully.

"Hey ev'rybody! It's New Year! Let's paaarrrty!"

Holly Holliday shouts animatedly from the stage.

"Hit it!"

And then she starts singing.

"That woman is a thing…" Kurt says.

"I didn't know she was back…"

"What you mean?" Santana frowns as she hands a beer to her wife.

"Uh…"

"To the stage… Rachel meant the stage…"

Brittany winks at her and Rachel smiles, thankful for her ally.

"Do you want me to take something for you baby?"

"No thanks, I'm not gonna drink…"

"Why not?"

Rachel presses her lips on Quinn's ear.

"I want to be sober tonight…"

The blonde licks her own lips.

"Okay…"

"Why are you guys not drinking? It's New Year! And Lady Hummel will take us home…" Santana asks curious.

"No… Kurt will take you guys home, I'm driving…" Quinn replies.

"I can drive Quinn, you should drink or she will bother us all night long…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…"

"Okay, I'll be right back…" Quinn kisses her quickly and goes toward the bar counter.

They all ended up singing. Except for Rachel; she decided to just watch her friends. One by one they went on stage and they were wonderful as always. Holly joined Santana and Brittany on the stage and Rachel remembered their performance on glee, years ago.

What did she say? Or better yet, why did she say that? She should have been the most open person in that room and yet…

Well, she has been an open person somehow, at least when it was about gay man.

Of course! I was rejecting what unconsciously tormented me… my sexuality… Oh my God!

Come on Rachel! You've known that for ages… you knew that in that…

"You won't sing?" She comes out of her thoughts when she hears Quinn's voice.

"I already sang… did you notice that it was for you, and only for you?"

Quinn's smile spreads across her face. "I noticed…"

As they finished singing with Holly, Brittany and Santana called Quinn to the stage.

And the unholy trinity did a hell of a show.

And Rachel watched in awe.

* * *

 

She is going crazy.

 

Rachel is driving them back home. Her eyes are on the road but her focus is on Quinn's hand. The blonde is stroking circles on her leg and even with the jeans barrier the touch is causing chills down her spine. She nibbles her bottom lip trying her best to focus on the road.

Then Quinn starts raking her nails on Rachel's thigh, up and down causing an unobtrusive moan from Rachel's lips.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" Rachel swallows. "More actually…" She smiles reassuring her wife.

Her wife…

Now she is completely enchanted with this. Quinn is her wife. And what a beautiful wife she has. And…

_What the hell!_

"Quinn!"

The blonde gasps.

"Why don't we have a wedding ring?" She says truly concerned.

"Jesus Rachel! You scared me…."

"Sorry…"

"And yeah right, like you don't know… using your words: these rings represent our love Quinn, they need to be maintained…"

"Of course they need… but where are they?"

"Honey I told you; I sent them to an expert cleaning and check-up service place; don't worry…"

"Okay…"

"They are pretty expensive; I wouldn't take them to any place…" She teases.

Rachel smiles at her. She is curious to know how they are like.

* * *

 

Moments later she is parking in their garage.

"Here we are!"

Quinn is not really drunk but she had a couple of drinks in the bar.

"No! Wait…"

"What?" She looks at Rachel with curiosity.

Rachel gets out of the car quickly and goes toward Quinn's door. She opens the door and stretches out her hand.

"Oh… so chivalrous…"

"For you? Always…"

Quinn melts a little at Rachel's charm. She takes the brunette hands and gets out of the car. Rachel holds her hand softly but firmly and closes the door. It was supposed to be a gallant act. But as Quinn stands in front of her and their bodies are inches apart, Rachel leans forward and attacks her wife's lips in a heated kiss. She intertwines her fingers on the blonde's hair and backs her body against the car.

She then deepens the kiss; opening their mouth widely, they lick each other's tongue as they fight for dominance. Rachel slowly moves down to Quinn's neck and sucks on the blonde's pulse point eliciting a contented moan of her lips.

"We should go inside…"

She recovers her senses and pulls away.

"Yes, of course… I'm sorry…"

"For what? A mind-blowing kiss?" Quinn replies.

Rachel giggles. They go inside.

"I like inside… is warm…" Rachel says playfully as Quinn takes off their coats.

"MmmHmm…"

It didn't take much time for them to be all over each other again.

"Mmm baby I want you so much…" Quinn says between kisses.

"I'm still in awe for that…"

"What you mean?" She says curious.

"Because you're Quinn, and you're mine…"

"Yours… always yours…"

"My Quinn… my queen…" She kisses her wife playfully. "My queen Quinn…"

Quinn giggles. "You made that one by yourself?"

"Yes…" Rachel chuckles.

"I love you…" She says with moony eyes and sighs completely in love.

"So, Am I forgiven? For my momentary forgetfulness?"

The blonde nods.

"You know…" Quinn walks toward the stairs and Rachel follows her wife's every movement with her eyes. "You may even get lucky tonight..." The blonde climbs up.

"Very luck…" Rachel whispers to herself and then she follows her wife upstairs.

When Rachel gets in their bedroom, Quinn is already barefoot, her boots thrown randomly on the floor. She then does the same and takes off her own shoes.

"Come here," Quinn asks as she sits in the edge of the bed.

Rachel goes right away and presses their lips together. Quinn holds her waist and then slides her hands to Rachel's ass, she cups both cheeks greedily. They slowly move onto bed and Rachel straddles the blonde still kissing her with passion.

This is just heaven…

Her body is hot all over and they are just kissing; they did it before, not with this intensity though. Rachel can't wait for more.

In a quick movement Quinn flips Rachel ass and gets on top of her wife making her moan. Knowing them both like she does, Rachel knows that Quinn is the one more dominant, she could easily just give in, and she wants to give in. But not tonight; tonight is all about Quinn. And yes, a little bit about her too, because this is something that she has craved for so long.

"Quinn?"

She speaks out but Quinn is very distracted assaulting her neck.

"Quinn?"

The blonde takes off Rachel's blouse in a quick motion.

"Quinn?"

Rachel pulls away.

"What?" Quinn is a little concerned.

"I know that you want me… and I want you to have me, but…"

"What?" Her voice is weak.

"Let me love you?"

The blonde smiles; relieved and happy.

"You don't have to ask…"

"I need to have you,"

"Then take me…"

Rachel shifts their position and kisses her again, a long and soulful kiss.

She pulls back and stares at her friend, her love, her wife; and soon, tonight, her lover.

"My god, all this time...I never stopped loving you..."

"That's all I wanted to hear..."

Quinn says with a big smile on her face and then she kisses the love of her life. The kiss gets more passionate as they are exploring each other's lips and tongues in a sensuous dance.

Rachel grabs the fabric of Quinn's long sleeve, sexy dress and slides it up slowly, exposing inch by inch of those delicious thighs and going upwards the toned abs. Quinn sits up so Rachel can take off the dress which happens fast. Rachel tosses it away leaving the blonde in only her bra. She then pushes the blonde's back on the bed and presses their lips together. Her gentle hand is rubbing Quinn's stomach, just above the panties.

In a slow pace she runs her hand up and cups one breast.

"Take it off…" Quinn pleads. And Rachel is suddenly nervous.

"Okay…"

She nibbles her bottom lip eagerly.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm a little nervous…"

Quinn chuckles but then she sees the concern in Rachel's eyes.

"Rach… why? Why are you nervous?"

"I-I…"

_I don't know what I'm doing?_

"I don't want to disappoint you; I want it to be good for you…"

This time Quinn can't help it; she laughs. Rachel sits on the bed a little self conscious.

"Rachel look at me… it is you, it will always be good for me…"

"You mean it?"

"Do you want to know how badly I want you right now? Do you want to know what you do to me?"

Without warning the blonde takes Rachel's hand and slides it under her panties.

They both moan at the contact.

She can feel the wetness therewith Rachel feels the confidence growing in her as Quinn keeps moaning.

_She was enjoying in our sex video… I can do this… yes I can…_

She takes out her hand from Quinn's panties and the blonde whines. Rachel intends to take her time worshiping that amazing body. She takes off her own jeans and smirks as she sees the way Quinn stares at her legs.

She spreads her wife legs and settles between them; she leans down to start another passionate kiss as her hand is stroking Quinn's thigh; the blonde's desire growing more and more.

"Rach… I need you…"

"You're so beautiful Quinn."

She kisses her tenderly.

"So beautiful…"

Rachel starts sucking on the blonde's pulse point and then she works her way down her neck reaching Quinn's breast; she stops her caressing to take off her wife's bra.

The bra is off and she is mesmerized.

She cups one breast and she is sure that this is something she wants to do for the rest of her life. She cups the other one and squeezes them, making Quinn moan in pleasure.

She licks her lips in anticipation. Then she leans down and as soon as her mouth touches the warm skin, she loses it. She covers the nipples with her mouth, sucking gently but insistently. Kissing, licking and sucking, she is entranced by the feeling of finally to be touching Quinn's skin. Rachel's hand slides slowly toward Quinn's panties while they start kissing again.

_There goes Quinn's panties._

Quinn, the prettiest girl she has ever met, with widespread legs. Rachel stares at her wife's most intimate spot and falls in love with the beautiful sight of Quinn's womanhood. She slips her finger on Quinn's sex and the blonde arches her back.

Rachel goes up to kiss her again and starts rubbing Quinn's clit.

"Mmm…" The blonde nibbles her lip. "Oh, baby… just like that…"

"Is this good?" Rachel keeps rubbing and sucking Quinn's neck at the same time.

"So good baby…"

"Quinn?"

"Oh… yeah?"

"Can I…"

"Yes baby, please… make love to me…"

Rachel slides one finger inside Quinn's wet core. She is so wet.

"You're so wet baby…"

"All for you, just for you Rach…"

She presses their lips together and adds one more finger.

"Yess… baby…" Quinn pants and moves her hips forward.

Rachel thrusts her fingers inside going as deep as she could. She let her instincts directing her, doing exactly what she does when she is pleasing herself. She curls her fingers and rubs against the sweet spot inside.

"Oh yeah! Right there baby… oh… so good…"

The blonde moans and writhes beneath Rachel and by now Quinn's moans are doing things to her. Every moan makes her clit throb harder.

She is close to tears. It isn't about lust and desire. She loves Quinn, and here she is making love to her.

"Rach…"

"I love you Quinn… you… you're perfect, and I'm so happy you're mine, please say you're mine…"

"I'm yours…" She says moaning.

Rachel keeps pumping inside, watching as Quinn closes her eyes and bites her bottom lip in pleasure. She then starts rubbing the blonde's clit with her thumb.

"Mmm… I'm so… so close, oh, oh…"

Rachel feels Quinn's walls starting to tighten around her fingers; the blonde cups the brunette's head and pulls her to a demanding kiss. Rachel increases her speed and thrusts her fingers harder into Quinn; the blonde starts shaking and her moans are getting louder. Rachel takes a nipple into her mouth and the pleasurable contact is enough to send Quinn over the edge.

"Oh yesss… oh Rachel!"

Quinn arches up as she bursts into a powerful orgasm.

"I love you…" Rachel whispers into Quinn's ear.

The blonde woman holds her lover in her arms.

"I love you too…" Her chest is going up and down. "That was so good."

"Really?"

"Yes, and I want you to feel this good too… I mean, after I recover…"

Rachel giggles.

"Let's just sleep…" She rolls over.

"I want you to feel good too…"

"You already did; you have no idea…"

"Rachel, I want you…"

"I know, but you're tired…" Rachel kisses her cheek and cuddles her wife. "I'm tired too… don't worry, I'm all yours…"

"All mine?" Quinn says sleepy.

"Yes baby, all yours…"

Forever yours…

They fall asleep.

* * *

 

She opens her eyes, a big smile forming across her face. She moves blonde hair out of her way and starts planting closed-mouthed kisses on Quinn's neck. The blonde sighs in love.

"Good morning…"

"Good morning." Quinn says smiling.

"Tell me…"

"hm?"

"Do I have Quinn Fabray in my arms?"

"Yes." Quinn says joyfully.

"Will she make breakfast for me?"

"Did she have a choice?"

"Not really…"

A few moments later they are sitting in the kitchen and feeding each other.

"You know, I'm kind of lucky… I not only have a beautiful and stunning wife but I also am married with a wonderful cook…"

"You are lucky, but I'm not a wonderful cook…"

"You are to me,"

"Maybe it's because you're a terrible cook."

"Or maybe is because I'm in love…" Rachel teases.

"So love has blinded you …"

"Uh… don't give me star wars lines your nerd…"

"You love it…"

"I do," She grins like a fool.

"You'd be a good senator, I mean with all your eloquence…"

"I suppose you'd be a Jedi then?" She disdains.

"Exactly…"

"I don't want to be a Senator, Politicians are boring…"

"Exactly…"

"Quinn!"

The blonde laughs.

"Sorry, you're not boring; you're my princess… my princess Leia, okay?"

"Yeah…" she smiles. "But I do like Natalie's character…"

"Ugh…"

Quinn presses their lips together and they kiss slowly but passionately, she then bites Rachel's bottom lip in a sensuous way.

"It does feel like the inside of a rose…"

Rachel sighs and Quinn giggles.

"Silly…"

"Is it too weird that I miss them already?"

"Yes it is…" Quinn teases her. "I'm going to call mom…"

"Okay… I'm going to shower…"

Quinn nods.

They kiss quickly and then Rachel goes upstairs.

* * *

 

As the hot water is streaming down her body Rachel starts thinking about last night. The ecstasy of having Quinn for the first time; touching her, pleasuring her and loving her as she's always craved for. And it was so good, so delightful.

She can hardly wait for more.

And just like that, lost in her thoughts Rachel lets the water wash her. She didn't hear Quinn opening the glass door; and suddenly she feels her wife's naked body pressed against hers.

"Hey…" Quinn wraps her arms around her and hugs her from behind.

"Hey…"

The blonde starts kissing Rachel's shoulders and then she goes up to her neck. When she reaches the spot right behind her ear Rachel moans.

"Can I join you?"

"You kind of already did…"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Don't even think about it…" They giggle.

She turns around and Quinn attacks her lips greedily.

"Mmm baby…" she moans.

"Mmm is accurate…"

"Silly…"

"Beth is still sleeping." She kisses Rachel again. "And Toni is right now doing a mess in my bedroom… mom said that she said I allowed her to rummage my stuff…" Rachel giggles happily. "She is luck she is my daughter, she is even luckier that I want you so badly right now… and I have no intention of leaving this house without tasting you…"

She attacks Rachel's lips with passion then she backs her wife against the shower wall and lifts her up in the air, Rachel wraps her long toned legs around Quinn's waist instinctively.

They keep kissing passionately as the shower water keeps streaming down their bodies.

Quinn moves her mouth down and sucks Rachel's nipples, sliding two fingers inside of her. Rachel moans audibly.

"Oh, Quinn…"

She holds her wife's shoulders and Quinn keeps her thrusts.

Rachel moans again, but this time in Quinn's ear causing the blonde's clit to throb with desire; she starts fingering Rachel's slit faster, watching as she bites her bottom lip in pleasure. Rachel's grip tightens on Quinn as the blonde slid her fingers in and out, while rubbing her clit with her thumb and sucking her nipples harder. Rachel bucks her sex into Quinn's hand digging her nails into her back.

"Oh my God Quinn… so… oh fuck!"

Quinn thrusts her fingers harder, deeper and faster.

"Feels so good…"

"You're so fucking sexy baby…"

The blonde kisses her fervently.

"I'm gonna… Mmmm, oh yeah baby… "

Rachel legs tighten around the blonde waist as she feels her orgasm building up.

"Oh, oh… oh Quinn!"

She goes over the edge and embraces Quinn with a lazy smile on her face.

Her shaking subsides after Quinn removes her fingers; the blonde turns off the faucet and takes Rachel to the bedroom. They keep kissing all the way to the bed and when they get there Quinn places the brunette's back on the mattress; Rachel puts her arms around Quinn and holds her, kissing her face and neck; their breast are pressed together and Rachel thinks the sensation is delightful. The blonde kisses her in the lips and starts going down the brunette's breasts. She starts with larger circles, gradually decreasing in size before her tongue finally plants firmly on the brunette's nipple placing her lips around it and giving it a long loving suck, feeling it growing harder in her mouth. She then holds her nipple between her teeth and gently bites it. As she increases the pressure, she feels Rachel's whole torso raises off the bed in anticipation.

"Oh God Quinn…"

"I just started baby…"

The blonde moves her kisses down and reaches Rachel's stomach.

Rachel looks down at the short blonde hair below and smirks. She holds it as Quinn goes further down.

Quinn spreads her legs and Rachel remembers; crystal clear.

Flashback:

"Guys, where is Quinn? We need to finish our group song…" She complains.

"Yeah, where are the girls? San and Britt are not here either…" Kurt adds noticing that once again Rachel's focus was on Quinn.

The door bursts open.

"Hi there losers, your star is here…" Santana says arrogantly.

"I want to compose more songs!" Brittany shouts.

"Where have you guys been?" Rachel asks bossily.

"None of your business hobbit…"

"It's a surprise…" Brittany giggles and moves away so they could see Quinn.

"Hi guys…" Quinn says smiling.

"Oh my God Quinn!" Kurt shouts.

"Hot…" Puck smirks.

"Quinn you're beautiful…" Mercedes says as Tina nods on her side.

They all keep talking as Rachel is daydreaming. Actually she is in the middle of a fantasy. She is holding that hair. Oh yes that hair! Between her legs… wait… what? She shakes her head trying to focus again.

"You're looking beautiful Quinn… as always…" Rachel says in a low voice.

"Thanks…" She says with little emotion. Only her eyes are betraying her. But no one is looking at her eyes.

"Let's focus!" Rachel says firmly.

Now:

Quinn settles between her legs and looks up, her eyes enthralled by Rachel's chocolate ones. She leans down and stats kissing her wife intimate spot. Slowly licking and sucking every part of her lips.

Rachel gasps at the sweet contact and moans as her head rocks back and her eyes closes in total elation. Quinn works her tongue around Rachel's entire sex before slipping it into her entrance. Rachel can feel her tongue inside, exploring and forcing its way in. After a bit, Quinn focuses her mouth on her wife clit and sucks on it.

"Oh, Oh my… Oh Quinn…" Rachel grips the sheets with her fists, the climax overtaking her.

"So good Rachel… so sweet…"

The blonde dives in again. With her hands firmly holding Rachel's ass, she lifts the brunette off the mattress and pushes her tongue inside her wife. Rachel bucks her hips faster as Quinn squeezes her ass and keeps licking frantically. Her nose pressed against Rachel, Quinn opens her mouth and accepts the entire area around Rachel's clit into it.

"Oh, Oh, Quinn… Oh, my…"

She squirms from the pleasure; her legs shaking from the orgasm that is coming.

"Oh yeah…" she reaches the climax.

Quinn doesn't stop; Rachel tries to get away but Quinn clings to her ass and pulls Rachel into her once more.

"Oh God Quinn… I can't…"

Her body convulses with delight and she goes over the edge for the second time.

And Quinn keeps licking all of her juices.

"Quinn…"

Finally, she stops. Rachel's body is numb.

Okay, I've had orgasms… but that was… amazing…

"I'll need time to recover from that…"

"You denied me for too long…" She giggles.

Too long indeed…

Rachel sighs.

"I couldn't help myself…"

Quinn crawls up Rachel's body, the feeling of her skin sending new waves of delight through the brunette. She kisses her wife and Rachel gets her first taste of the sweet juices that had just flowed out of her.

All she can think is how badly she wants to taste Quinn.

They kiss long and hard, Rachel hands exploring Quinn's body and the blonde's tongue exploring Rachel's mouth.

Her ass is magnificent to touch. Rachel thinks amazed.

The round curves on her fingers and palms; Rachel pulls her closer and feels Quinn's breasts on hers.

She could have stayed like that all day.

"Let's take our little thing?"

"Sure…" Quinn gives her one last kiss. "She is in trouble…" She says playfully.

"She is not…"

"Yeah… she is not, I can't really get mad at her…what can I do? Like mother, like daughter…"

Rachel sighs completely in love with the woman upon her.

Things are going to be good.

Will they last though?


	7. A boarding pass

**New York (2019)**

As she looks out the car window and her chauffeur is driving her, her mind goes far away. She goes back to the time that all she had to focus was: to win Nationals.

Growing up is not easy, being an adult sometimes is heavy. But she is proud of herself, she has no regrets.

Here she is, a Broadway star, on her way to her desired Tony. Rachel is not concerned, she knows it just matter of time now.

She worked hard to get here.

"Rach, over here!"

Rachel hears her mother's voice as soon as she gets out of her car.

"Hi!" Shelby is grinning from ear to ear.

"Hi Ray!"

"Hi Beth!"

Beth, a constant reminder of a certain someone; Rachel hugs her stepsister fondly then she hugs her mother.

"Thanks for coming…"

"Of course I'd come…"

"Dads are really great, but sometimes we need a feminine touch…"

Shelby smiles at her older daughter.

"Yeah I know, like that time I had to make your Lady Gaga's outfit…"

They giggle at that memory.

"Exactly, so, let's go?"

"Lead the way…"

Therewith, they go to Rachel's wedding planner.

She is engaged, again.

However this time everything seems to be good. True, after graduation her relationship went through turbulence. She kind of neglected her love life and it almost cost her relationship. And yes, one year ago they broke up again.

But they got back together, because they are meant to be.

Finn is the love of her life, he is her security, her fortress and they will have a wonderful wedding. This time everything will be perfect. She is not seventeen and immature, she won't be pacing in a room worried about a certain blonde.

Rachel shakes her head trying to make those thoughts go away, because the memory of that day still makes her sick, the thought of losing her it's just too much and also because it is still sad to think about Quinn.

They've become so distant…

"Sweetie?"

"Hm?"

"Mrs. Fiore just asked you a question…" Shelby says calmly.

"Yes?"

"Your bouquet?"

"Sure…"

"I personally love gardenias I think they're beautiful…"

"No." Rachel says harshly. "No gardenias,"

_Gardenias are our thing…_

Actually, it's more like Rachel thing, because she never mentioned it to Quinn.

A few hours later they are having dinner in their favorite restaurant.

"What's the matter honey, you seem distracted…"

"Hm?"

"See what I mean?" Shelby smiles at her.

"It's nothing… really."

"You didn't seem very excited today…"

"Just tired…"

"Rachel, I have to ask… are you one hundred percent sure about this wedding?"

"What you mean?" She frowns. "Of course I am… the wedding will be perfect, everything will be perfect…"

"I didn't ask that,"

"It's our ordered, let's eat, I'm starving…"

"Okay…" Shelby smiles at the waiter in a polite way.

After the dinner they went to Shelby's apartment.

"She is sleeping…" She says as she emerges from the hallway and gets close to Rachel that is sitting on the couch.

"I really enjoyed our day, but I have to go…"

"Already?" Shelby sits on her side and pouts; Rachel smiles at how similar they are.

"Yes,"

Shelby gets thoughtful as she is pondering the best way to approach the matter.

"Rach, I want you to be happy,"

"I know…"

"So you trust me?"

"Sure…"

"I know you love Finn, and you care about him, but you don't have to marry him just because he is your high school's sweetheart, honey... sometimes it just doesn't work this way…"

"Not me and Finn… I love him and he loves me; we'll be alright…"

"And you will settle with "alright"? I know nowadays people get married and get divorced easily but… Look, over these years I got to know you better, and I know Rachel, something is not right…"

"We won't get divorced…"

She says upset but Shelby keeps talking.

"And something tells me that it's the same reason that stopped your wedding before…" She trails off. "Quinn…"

"Quinn didn't stop my wedding; her accident stopped my wedding…"

"Honey,"

"Mom I don't want to talk about Quinn…"

"I think we should, especially cause I know that you're in love with her…"

Rachel eyes go wide.

"I-I… I'm not… she is, she was or she thought she was in love with me…"

"She thought? I saw how she got Rach, she got shattered, but she dealt with her feelings in her own way… you know her…"

"I don't want to talk about it… I have to go…"

Rachel stands and starts walking.

"No, I'm your mother and I will say it!"

She clenches her jaw and stops.

"I never thought I'd say that, especially cause I know how special and wonderful you are, how you dealt with your problems and how you worked hard to be here, a Broadway star…" She looks at Rachel serious. "You're being a coward Rachel…"

"What?!" She says angrily.

"I would console her and tell her to move on… but I can't do that; not when I know how you feel Rachel…"

"What are you talking about? I don't feel anything for her, she is my friend, better yet… she was my friend, but she walked away… it was her decision,"

"She moved to L.A. Rachel but you're the one who built a wall between you guys…"

"This is not true!" Rachel shouts. "I wanted us to be friends!"

"Saying I want us to be friends, doesn't work with Quinn…"

"So what? Do I have to run after her to make her open up to me? I'm her mother now?"

"Are you hearing yourself? Where is the Rachel who turned the Head bitch into that sweet girl we know?"

"I didn't turn her…" She sighs. "I always knew she wasn't just that bitch…"

She says affectionate, her attitude crumbling. She shrugs and looks away, holding back her tears.

"She is okay," Shelby starts again. "she has a great career, a great life and her relationship with Beth is wonderful, solid… everything I wanted to both of them, and Puck too, when I got back to Lima that year… but just like you, I got to know her better and I know she is not entirely happy… she still loves you Rach…"

"And I can't do anything about it…"

"That's the point Rach, you can…"

"No I can't… I'm about to marry, with the love of my life! This is far too inappropriate; you're my mother you supposed to support me, and congratulate me, you can't be, you, you shouldn't be encouraging me to throw myself into another relationship… with a woman!"

She covers her own mouth with her hand. Her eyes wide open.

"I…"

"You meant it…" The older woman cuts her off.

"I'm engaged…"

Shelby stands up and gets close to her daughter.

"Tell me Rachel, tell me that you are choosing Finn because you are completely sure; tell me that you're not denying her because she is a woman…"

"Why are you saying this? Of course it's not like that! I have two dads, you know that!"

"Having two dads doesn't make it easy… I want to help you honey, because clearly your dads have missed this…"

"There's nothing to be missed! Can you just let it go?!"

"No I can't… I won't sit around watching you make a mistake, it'll destroy you Rachel, as it almost destroyed her in the past… but you were there for her, you stopped her… you will make both you and Finn miserable, one day you'll wake by his side and you'll regret…"

"I won't regret because I'll be waking up with my devastating handsome husband, who I love… if you don't want to support us, fine… I have my dads…"

She turns around to leave.

"Rachel…" Shelby sighs. "Baby girl…"

"I'm not your baby girl…"

"You'll always be my baby girl Rach… but even if you hate me, I won't be conniving with it… you're right, you have your dads for that…"

Rachel gets upset.

"You don't have to go to the wedding then…"

She storms out.

To say that after that they got apart is an understatement. It didn't happen overnight but it happened, they got apart.

Just like everybody who tried to bring up the Quinn subject, Rachel pushed her mother away. If it wasn't the fact that they were really close and they couldn't live without each other, her relationship with Kurt would've had the same fate.

* * *

 

_Back to her present life…_

Here, that fight never happened.

Rachel figured it out by now.

That's why she had a great relationship with her mother; Shelby never had to confront her because of Quinn.

Although Rachel still doesn't know how they got together.

"What are you thinking?"

"Hm?"

"You have this face…" Quinn smiles at her and tickles her nose "So I know you are thoughtful."

"The day I… I was thinking about how I got you…"

Smoothly, Rachel tries to take out some information from Quinn.

"Yeah…" She grins. "I really felt like Vivian…"

_Vivian?_

"Vivian Ward?"

_Oh my Barbra what did I do?_

"Less the prostitute thing… of course…"

Rachel arches her brows.

"It was a dirty trick… you know, to use take my breath away…"

I sang… obviously…

Quinn parks and before she can move out of the car Rachel stops her.

"Kiss…"

Rachel points to her lips making her wife smile from ear to ear. The blonde presses their lips together in a quick kiss.

"I want more…" Rachel pouts.

"You'll have to settle with this…" She says playfully and gets out of the car.

"Quinn!"

She gets out of the car as well and runs after the blonde. When Rachel reaches her wife she wraps her arms on the small of her back and embraces her from behind. Quinn laughs playfully.

"I want my kiss…" She says and bites Quinn's shoulders.

"Okay…"

With that Rachel turns her around abruptly and presses their lips together. She runs her tongue over Quinn's lips and the blonde opens them up. Whilst their tongues are dancing in their mouths Rachel's hand slips down to Quinn's ass and she squeezes it lightly.

The blonde smirks into the kiss.

"I was finding it odd that you weren't harassing my ass every other second…"

Rachel squeezes harder.

"Better?" She attacks the blonde lips again.

"Mmmhmm…" The blonde pulls away from her wife's lips. "This is so good baby but we'll give our neighbor quite a show…"

She moans soundly when Rachel's tongue swirls into her mouth.

"It would be good if it were a certain neighbor though…" She says between kisses.

"Silly, okay… I stopped…"

But as Quinn walks toward the door she stood still, admiring that tempting sight. Her eyes are glazed over with lust. She even tilts her head to the side.

"Are you coming inside?"

"Hm?"

Quinn laughs when she turns around and sees that Rachel was staring at her ass.

"What are you thinking? Something naughty?"

"Do you still have your empire state of mind outfit?"

"What?" She frowns her eyebrow curious.

"Uh… nothing… let's get inside…"

Call it mother's intuition but as soon as they come inside, Quinn gets in the alert mode.

"Do you think she messed up your bedroom?"

She says playfully. But Quinn raises a hand up in the air asking for silence.

"What's wrong?"

"Toni, don't go there!"

They hear Judy screaming from the backward. Promptly, they run toward the voice.

Toni is on the springboard looking down to the frozen pool.

"Toni! Get back here!"

"I just want to jump mommy…"

Rachel yells, but Quinn knows her daughter pretty well, she runs after her right away. It is not fast enough; Toni starts jumping and it doesn't take long for her bedroom slipper to slip on the springboard.

"Toni!" Rachel screams terrified as her daughter falls into the frozen pool. Judy nearly passed out.

Quinn stops running halfway and dives into the pool instead. Fully ignoring the cold, she swims toward her daughter. The little brunette is struggling in the pool.

"I'm here, calm down… mom is here…" She holds her daughter out of the water and the girl starts choking, breathing heavily; Quinn goes toward the edge, where Rachel is waiting for them. "Take her…"

Rachel takes her daughter from Quinn's arms and nestles her inside her coat. The blonde climbs up and gets out of the pool.

"I'm cold mommy…" The little girl coughs a little bit more.

"What were you thinking sweetie? Don't ever do that again…"

She holds her daughter tight.

"Quinnie are you okay?" Judy asks her shaking daughter.

"Yes, just take her inside…"

__

* * *

 

They go quickly to Quinn's bedroom. When they get there Rachel takes Toni's soaked pajama off and curls her up in a towel.

"You scared me little thing, do you want to give me a heart attack? Why did you go there? Not to mention that you scared you grandma too… why did you disobey her?"

"Rach, baby, calm down…" Quinn emerges from the bathroom in a robe.

"I'm calm…" Kneeling in front of her daughter she looks up to her wife.

"No you're not… we have to put her clothes on; she is cold… here, let me…"

"Okay, you do that…" She covers her face with her hands and exhales heavily then she stands up and sits on the bed on the little girl's side.

Quinn puts Toni's warm clothes.

"From now on, I'll keep her close all the time…"

"We don't have to; we just need to impose some limits to her…" Quinn turns to her daughter. "You have to listen to your grandma Toni… if she says something, you have to listen, or we're not going to let you sleep here anymore, and she will be sad… do you want her to be sad?"

Toni shakes her head hastily.

"Good… now where is my kiss?"

If Quinn still had any trace of the cold in her body, it surely would go away due to the warm smile that is spreading across her daughter's face. The little girl kisses her right away.

"Now kiss your mommy, you scared her… she is sad…"

The little brunette stands on the bed and wraps her arms around Rachel's neck.

"Sorry mommy, I not do again…" She kisses the older brunette.

"You better not…"

Rachel grabs her daughter and kisses her entire face. Toni giggles happily.

"Look what I made…"

Judy enters in the bedroom.

"For my two babies…"

"Mmm, look Toni, hot chocolate…" Quinn says excitedly.

"Yay!"

"Hm, first, say sorry to your grandma…"

"Sorry grandma… I obey you now…"

"I'm really happy to hear it…" Judy leans to kiss her granddaughter. "Drink your chocolate, you'll be warmed…"

The little girl drinks with glee and Judy leaves them.

"Good?"

Toni nods happily.

"Better than mine?"

She shakes her head quickly.

A few moments later Beth bursts in the bedroom.

"Where is she?! Grandma said she fell on the pool. Is it true?"

"Yes, but she is okay honey…"

"Toni! What… that thing is frozen!" Beth looks at Quinn. "You jumped too?"

"I have to take her out honey…"

"And you almost killed mom?"

The little brunette girl pouts.

"Beth…" Quinn stands up and hands her cup to her wife. "I'm going to put my clothes… Lay her down baby and cover her…"

Rachel nods and turns to Beth. "How was your night honey?"

"It was good; Kate is in a hangover…" Beth adds cynically.

"Beth, don't mention that bitch here…"

"Quinn…"

"What?"

"Language…"

The blonde rolls her eyes and notices for the first time that her old tiaras are all thrown haphazardly on the floor.

"Toni!"

"Quinn, remember, you said she is lucky…" Rachel teases.

"Yeah… she is, but she's grounded and I'm not picking it, you, young lady, you will get them…"

"I cold mom…"

Rachel holds back her smile.

"After you get warm; alright?"

She really can't be mad at her daughter.

* * *

 

Next day, they were taking Brittany and Santana to the airport.

"Okay losers we have to go…"

"I'm going to miss you Santana."

"Who wouldn't Berry…" The Latina says snobbish.

"Just hug me." Rachel moves forward and hugs her friend then she turns to Brittany. "Bye Britt… thank you very much for your help…"

"You're welcome, I'm glad you're you… and you and Quinn are good again…" Brittany says in Rachel's arms.

"Yeah, someone got laid… I mean, look at you, all smiles and your - I'm in love with the hobbit - face is back…" Santana teases Quinn.

"Just grow up… you're a mother…"

"Whatever… still true…"

"Amy," Brittany calls the little brunette girl.

"Good bye Amy!" Toni shouts to her friend.

"Bye Toni!"

Santana holds her daughter with a smile on her face.

"Let's go?" She asks her wife. Brittany nods.

"Bye guys, bye Beth…"

"Bye B…" Beth replies happily.

"Bye bitches, and please, come to L.A. one of these days…"

"We will, don't worry…" Rachel says excitedly.

After the good bye the Berry-Fabray family watch as the Lopez-Pierce family walk away. And then they go back to home.

"Quinn?" Rachel says as Quinn is driving.

"Hm?"

"Please, just listen okay?"

"Sure…" Quinn nods a little concerned.

"I was thinking, you know, we should move to L.A…"

"What? Why?"

"I was thinking about everything you did for me and the sacrifices you made for me, well if we move to L.A you can start over, I know you can shine Quinn, and I want to be there to see it,"

"Rachel all I did, it wasn't sacrifices, I love you, I have to be where you are, it's just this simple…"

"I know Quinn, but I want you to do that, I want us to try… it won't be New York, so you know," Rachel gestures to the blonde girl behind.

"But we have a life here…"

"I know, I need you to do this, I feel like I've held you back…"

"Hey, you didn't okay?"

"Still, please say you'll think about it…"

"I will…"

"Call it a vision, but I saw how far you can go Quinn, and I'll be very proud to be on your side when you're walking on the red carpet with your gorgeous green dress matching your eyes…"

"What?" Quinn says amused. "You saw all that?"

"Kind of…" Rachel smiles at her. "You were stunning…"

"I'll think about it…"

"It will help if I say that I think L.A is awesome?" Beth says playfully. "And dad is there…"

"That's actually a negative factor…" Rachel teases.

"Let me see, put up with Puck and get away from Finn or…"

"Finn is not that bad…"

"Are you kidding me?"

Beth and Quinn say at the same time.

"I prefer Puck; my dad is way cooler than him…"

Quinn and Rachel look at each other playfully, both of them thinking about the same thing. The short period of time that Finn was Beth's father. Well, somehow…

Even though Rachel will always get a little jealous about it; she is glad that Puck is Beth's father.

* * *

 

Later in the night, Rachel is on her bed with photo albums thrown around her. She found the albums on her closet as well as a box with little souvenirs. Before she starts flipping through to see the photographs, she opens the box. Something draws her attention.

A boarding pass.

New York to L.A.

Year 2016.

I got in the plane…

**_Flashback:_ **

_"I'm done with you… I'm not going to say anything about it anymore, it doesn't matter anyway, I'm leaving…"_

_"Will you leave me too?"_

_"She didn't leave you, she needed time Rach…"_

_"I'm going to miss you…"_

_"I can't believe I'm gonna say it but… I'm gonna miss you too… what can I say, I got used to have you around,"_

_"You always had me around, we were in glee together, and you know, Lima is not that big…"_

_"Not the same Berry… you are tolerable here in New York…"_

_They smile at each other._

_"You're still upset with me because of her right?"_

_"That's not why I'm leaving; Britt is there… and now, Quinn… but yes, I'm upset, but I can't do anything about it, right? Oh no wait… I can, I can say how coward you are..."_

_"Why I'm a coward?" Rachel frowns._

_"Because you love her, and you're scared, which is normal, I've been there, I felt it… but you love her Rachel, you love her and you let her go…"_

_"Yes, I love her; she is my friend Santana_ …"

_"Okay, I give up, officially, Rachel, friends don't cuddle on bed like you guys used to do when she was visiting you… you don't masturbate thinking about a friend…"_

_"What?! How do you, did you read my journal?" Rachel says angrily._

_"No…" Santana smirks and arches an eyebrow. "I actually didn't know, but I do now gayberry…"_

_Rachel gets pale and motionless. The Latina walks away._

_"And Rachel, that crown you keep with great care in your bedroom, she gave it to you…"_

_"What you're talking about?" She says weakly._

_"Quinn won the majority of the votes… but she gave her crown to you… I helped though…"_

_Santana leaves._

_Rachel was mulling over everything Santana said._

_And so she kept this thoughtful state of mind for the rest of the week._

_"Rachel, are you going to stay in there all weekend too?"_

_Kurt knocks insistently on her bedroom door._

_"No," She says as she is leaving the room, suitcase in hand._

_"I'm going to L.A."_

_The boy smile from ear to ear._

_"Are you going to…"_

_"Quinn? Yeah…"_

_"I'll take you to the airport; just let me tell Blaine…"_

_Moments later Kurt found out that he shouldn't have told her boyfriend. Because this was how Finn found out Rachel was leaving to L.A._

_"Rach?"_

_"Finn?"_

_"Where are you going? You're leaving without telling me about?"_

_"I'm just…"_

_"Don't go, please, we need to fix us… and if you go, you… you know, Santana and Quinn they don't like me…"_

_"That's not true Finn… you know that…"_

_"She loves you Rach, I know it, is this you choosing her over me?"_

_Rachel looks at him and then to her pass. She muses her answer._

_"No… I'm not…"_

_She sighs._

_"Sorry Kurt"_

_Kurt stares at her in disbelief._

_"I can't go…"_

_**Now:** _

"I got in the plane…"

"Yes you did…" Quinn is standing in the doorway staring at her wife. "Our finest moment if I may say…"

Rachel smiles her biggest smile as the blonde joins her on the bed. Quinn kisses her wife softly and bites her lips lightly.

"I was completely hopeless, at that moment I even doubted that we could keep our friendship…"

"I know…" Rachel hearts gets heavy.

I know…

"And then you showed up… and took my breath away," She smiles holding her tears. "I think about you on that plane, about what must have been going through your mind... I think about the decision you made... you chose us… I don't want to do anything that will let you or the girls uncomfortable… I love you Rachel and that's more important to me than our address..."

She smiles lovingly at her wife and then she adds. "I choose us…"

"I know, we won't be uncomfortable, I promise…"

They kiss with more passion this time, then they slow the pace, enjoying the feeling of their lips touching each other.

"What about all these photos?" Quinn asks.

"Just looking…"

"I like this one."

"I'm ugly…"

"You're not…"

"You're blind…"

"Ugh…"

Rachel giggles and then she gasps. "Why am I kissing this lady?"

"You mean me with my natural hair?"

"Oh my God!"

"Losing a bet is never good, but San was nice with me… it could've been a year with this hair…"

"You're beautiful anyway…" She looks at another picture which Quinn is also with her natural hair. Actually, she is impassioned with all the photos.

"I look like a cow in there…" Quinn points to herself pregnant.

"No way," Rachel looks at the picture fondly. It's a little weird cause she is there in the photo but she wasn't there at the same time.

_Yeah… it's confusing…_

A lot of photos later, they fell asleep.

But something starts disturbing Rachel's sleep…

_"You're lying!"_

_"No, I'm not, I've indicated him because he was the best and not because he is my friend, I'm sorry Jason… Blaine is my Co-star, you have to accept it…"_

_"I was the best, and you know it! And you're not even choosing him because he is your friend! It's because you can easily control him! You don't want anyone jeopardizing your spotlight…"_

_"That's nonsense…"_

_"Do your friends know who you are?"_

_"Yes, you're being ridiculous…"_

_"Listen to me! It'll have a payback!"_

_It will have a payback!_

_It will have a payback!_

She wakes up abruptly and scared. She is covered in sweat.

"Rach…it's okay, I'm here…"

"I-I… nightmare…"

"Shhh, I know…"

Quinn kisses her cheek and tightens her embrace.

_He, I… I killed mom, I created a monster… Finn was right, I've become an arrogant selfish bitch…but with mom's death and marrying Quinn I got… I didn't become…_

"I need you to hold me…"

"Always starlight…"

_Mom died because of my arrogance… that's the why…_

There it is, Rachel figured things out. But is she ready to the next step?


	8. Back to the old life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> waking up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrning: sexy times

**Lima, Ohio. (A few days after that night)**

TV shows marathons, ice cream, a lot of chocolate, red eyes and a broken heart.

This is her life right now.

_Oh my God, did she get off the plane?! Did she get off..._

Ross says on the TV.

"I got off the plane…" Quinn and Rachel (Green not Berry) say at the same time.

She knew from the beginning that it would be a bad idea to watch Friends.

**_"Did you know that my dads love friends?"_ **

**_"Is that so?"_ **

**_"Mmhm… in fact they named me…"_ **

**_"After Rachel Green…"_ **

But it didn't stop her and now, here she is, crying again.

"Quinn!"

She hears a loud bang on the door.

"Open this shit!"

Santana shouts angrily.

The blonde exhales soundly and goes toward the door. The furious Latina enters fuming in the bedroom.

"Look at you…"

"Please, spare me the lecture…"

Santana sighs heavily. "I won't… I know what you're doing, all I have to say is: don't…"

"What?"

"It sucks; I know… you're hurt…"

She grins sarcastically. "Hurt? I fucking love her!"

"Q…"

"I'm so stupid…" she closes her eyes. "Why did I believe she could feel the same way?" She adds hopeless and throws herself in the bed again.

This time Santana laughs.

"Because she does…"

"Stop…"

"Quinn…"

"NO!"

"Okay, this isn't about Berry; I'm here for you,"

"I…"

"Shut up!"

Quinn huffs irritated.

"You're hurt, I got it… but enough, enough with this pity party… Rachel is in New York, she'll be star, she is going to be big Quinn, just like you've always said; she'll be a fucking Broadway star… and you know why? Cause she is Rachel fucking Berry!"

"I know…"

"You do?"

"Do you have a point?"

"Get your ass out of this bed! Get out of this town and go get your dreams, you're Quinn fucking Fabray! Go shine even more than her! Make her regret letting you go, make her see how stupid she was…"

"It will never happen; she loves Finn…"

"I never said she didn't… but they are over…"

"They are not! He is there with her right the fuck now! It will always be like this!"

"Whatever, as I said, this is about you…"

Santana turns the TV off.

"So, how is it going to be? You're going to be here and be another Lima loser? That's it? She comes to visit you once and while, when she is not busy with her rehearsals and musicals, that is, you're going to marry some jerk, possibly a man because you know it's Lima… so then one day you see a hot brunette that reminds you of Rachel, you fuck her and you regret later… then you fuck your husband and you get pregnant and Rachel comes to see you, she says that she finally realized that she loves you but you guys can't be together because you are married and with a baby…"

Quinn stares at her friend with her mouth open.

"O-kay… you've spent too much time with couch Sue."

"Possibly… anyway, are you going to waste your life in this pity party? Or you're going to show Berry what she is losing?"

She muses a little.

"I'm going to leave this town… I'm going to L.A"

"You'll look breathtaking on the red carpet, and while one of those interviewers is saying how beautiful you look, I'll say: duh! She is always beautiful! I mean, she is beautiful when she wakes up in the morning…"

The blonde smiles dreamily.

"Good, but first… shower."

"Ass…"

"No, seriously, and you have a problem going on in here." Santana points to her own hair. "Your roots are showing up…" She teases.

The blonde (mostly) giggles and shakes her head.

"Am I going to be okay San? I mean, I know you went through this too, but it was different cause Brittany loved," She adds. "Loves you…"

"Hey, you're going to be fine and in all cases, she loves you too, don't forget it…"

__

* * *

 

_A month later…_

"Is this you choosing her over me?"

Finn knew, somehow he knew he was losing her. So he got on the first flight to New York; they needed to fix things.

It was just a phase; they would be fine just like always.

Except that this time Rachel was different, she was distant, and he knew why; high school Finn would never figure it out, but now he can, Quinn loves Rachel, like he loves Rachel.

At first he started getting suspicious, they became very close and whenever Rachel was around Quinn ignored the whole world.

And then the last hint came weeks ago:

_"Hi Quinn, I thought you were in New York with Rachel and Kurt…"_

_"I was…"_

_"Uh, well…"_

_"Do you have any idea how luck you are?"_

_"Why exactly?"_

_"Just don't screw everything okay? Rachel deserves to be loved…"_

_"I…"_

_"She is special…"_

_"I know that…"_

_"I hope you do…"_

Rachel called him crying, because of Quinn. She didn't say anything; she was just sad and afraid that their friendship was at risk.

The way she looks at Rachel, the way she hugs her, the way she talks about the brunette, with that big smile on her face; Quinn used to say that she couldn't stand Rachel's diva behavior. Now she reprimands anyone who tries to criticize the diva, even Finn.

He figured out.

In all fairness, he knows that Quinn has been nothing more than a good friend, and that's what they are, friends. But he had this feeling in the pit of his stomach as soon as Blaine told him that Rachel was on her way to the airport to get on a plane to L.A.

She was going to L.A, without telling him about. Rachel, hiding things from him, this just happened when she sent Sunshine to the crack house and when she tried to make Kurt win those elections. She was hiding on a purpose.

He needed to stop her.

"No… sorry Kurt, I can't…" her eyes never leaving a spot behind the fashionable boy.

"What you're talking about?" Kurt looks behind quickly, trying to find out what she is looking at.

"It wasn't a good idea…"

"Come on Rach, let me take you home…" Finn gets close to her.

"Wait… how do you know Quinn loves Rach, Finn?"

"I'm not blind dude…"

"Let's just go home please…"

Kurt takes her arm. "Just…" He tugs her away from Finn. "Why are you giving up? It doesn't make any sense…"

"She asked me for time, it'll be better this way, let's go back please…"

She looks at the spot again. And Kurt gets more curious.

This time he is determined to see what is it.

And then he sees, like really sees. Anyone else wouldn't get it. But Kurt understood; he understood why.

"I see…" He looks at her with a mix of sadness and disappointment.

"Kurt…"

"I won't say a word, let's go home…"

The tall boy wraps his arms around Rachel and they walk toward the exit.

Kurt looks one more time at the big advertising; a man, a woman and a smiling little girl.

Disneyland: a happily ever after to your family!

__

* * *

 

_Present time._

"Yeah mom, tell us…"

Quinn rolls her eyes at her pouting wife.

"Okay, but after that, sleep time…"

Toni nods and nestles in her bed.

Rachel is happy, she finally found a way to make Quinn tell everything that happened that day without looking suspicious. Beth mentioned that they used to tell their story before she went to sleep. So she told Toni to ask Quinn.

"Listen carefully sunshine,"

The little girl smiles eagerly.

"Princess Rachel was…"

"That's me!" Rachel says to her daughter excitedly.

"Can I?" Quinn teases her.

"Sure, go on…"

"Princess Rachel was sad because Princess Quinn was living so far away from her…"

**_Flashback (or, how Rachel got on the plane):_ **

_"Is this you choosing her over me?"_

_"Yes, I'm sorry Finn, I can't do this anymore; I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore…"_

_"You're in love with her?"_

_Rachel looks at the advertising._

_"Yes, and I'm tired of pretending that I'm not; I'm tired of being a coward… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… but I have to get on that plane…"_

_"Please don't do this… I can be better, I'll be a better boyfriend; we almost got married Rachel, we can't end like this…"_

_"I know, I know Finn…" She says tearfully."But you told me once that you'd do anything to make me happy…"_

_"Rach…" His tears stream down his face._

_"I still care about you, but I have to go… you have to let me go…"_

_Kurt gets close to his stepbrother and holds his arms._

_"Let me go Finn…"_

_He nods weakly, Rachel hugs him._

_"Take care of him for me?" She turns to Kurt._

_"Don't worry…"_

**_Now:_ **

"She got on the plane to meet her Princess… but she knew that Princess Quinn was mad at her, so she asked for help; her loyal friend and the best dancer in the entire kingdom had an idea… After they had planned everything, Princess Rachel went to Princess Lucy Quinn…"

Toni giggles. "Like me…"

"Yes, like you…"

"What?" Rachel gets confused.

"And when she got there…" Quinn continues. "Brittany turned on the radio so loudly that anyone could listen, even Princess Quinn in her high tower; Princess Rachel sang to her, and it was beautiful, very beautiful, it made the blonde Princess cry…"

They stare at each other fondly.

"Princess Rachel climbed the tower, which means she climbed the emergency stairs…"

They laugh.

"I had to impersonate Richard Gere, huh?"

"Yes…" She smiles in love. "And when Princess Rachel got close to Princess Quinn; she said those beautiful and magical words…"

"I love you…" Rachel says in utter adoration.

Quinn smiles and then she looks at her sleeping daughter. She leans down and kisses the little girl's forehead.

"What?"

Rachel is thoughtful.

"Lucy? We named her Lucy?"

"Me? No no… I remember pretty well… Quinn she needs to have something yours…"

"It seems something I'd say…" Rachel says smiling widely.

"Yeah, and you wanted Quinn by the way… but thank God for me, Quinn Antoinette? Imagine her life at school; she'd have to miss The French revolution classes for sure…"

"What would be this family without you?"

"I know…" She says mockingly.

"Do you want to check if Beth is sleeping?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to make love to you all night long…"

"Right away…" She stands up and leaves Toni's bedroom.

Rachel kisses her daughter and then stares at her a little bit more.

_Lucy…_

"Good night… Lucy Antoinette…"

She leaves the little brunette's bedroom and goes toward Beth's bedroom. She can hear their voices from the hallway.

"No way…"

"I'm telling you, and I was like, are you kidding me? The book is so much better than the movie…" Beth says playfully.

"This is not always the case?" Rachel teases them; she is standing in the doorway now.

"Not always… sometimes the movie is quite acceptable…" The blonde girl says arrogantly.

"Quite acceptable…" Quinn nods.

Rachel laughs. When she was visiting the blonde girl, in the other life, that is, she remembers that it was so amazing how Beth reminded her of Quinn.

"Okay…" She walks toward the girl. "Good night sweetie…" Rachel kisses her affectionately.

"Good night mommy…"

A few moments later Quinn gets in their master bedroom.

"I just had this amazing idea for a play… well, Beth helped…"

Rachel looks at her wife with passionate eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing…"

Quinn goes to the bed and leans forward to kiss her wife.

"So, someone said that she was going to make love to me all night long…"

"That's right…"

And it was a long and pleasurable night.

__

* * *

 

Day by day Rachel feels more and more at home. Sometimes it still seems odd, not bad, just like a wonderful dream.

Most of the few times she thought about the other life was with heartbreak; because she regrets having been so foolish, so blind, so fearful. So not like her.

Rachel sighs soundly; she is so used to wake up like this, with Quinn by her side.

"I have a thing to do… uh… after lunch, I won't be long…" Quinn says anxiously.

"Are you hiding something Quinn?" Rachel teases her wife.

"I? No… why would I be?"

"You tell me…"

"I'm not," She smiles happily.

"Sure…"

"Don't forget, today I'll take you to dinner and we can't be late, we have reservations and this place is very exclusive…"

She says serious, but Rachel giggles.

They really can't be late.

And a few hours later she can't contain her curiosity.

"Beth?"

"Yes mommy?" Beth is with her focus on the lap top in front of her.

"Do you know what your mom is plotting?"

"I have no idea mommy…" She looks up and smirks.

"Are you sure you don't know?"

"Uh, let me see…" She pretends to be musing. "To tell you and lose my allowance, or not tell you and to get a big money… I don't know…"

"You wouldn't do this to me…"

"Sorry…"

"Beth…"

She snorts frustrated.

"I'm going to ask Toni…" She frowns. "Where is she by the way?"

Beth giggles.

"Beth? Where is she? She was here with you…"

"I'm doing my homework; I don't know where she is…"

"Beth!"

"Mommy, don't you know she is the…" She raises her voice. "Best at hiding?"

They hear a giggle coming from under the bed.

"Oh, yes… I've heard about it; I'll never find her…" Rachel sighs dramatically. "I'll try downstairs… if you see her, call me okay?"

"Okay mommy…"

As soon as Rachel leaves the bedroom to hide in the hallway, Beth places her lap top on the bed and kneels on the floor.

"She's gone little thing…"

Toni gets out of the bed and jumps on the bed.

"Play with me Be…"

"I'm doing homework; I can't…"

"Please, please!" She starts jumping.

"uh hm! There you are!"

Toni screams loudly and Rachel runs to her.

"Were you hiding from me?"

"Yes!"

The little girl is laughing happily.

"Come on; let your sister study…"

"I want play with Be…"

Rachel pouts playfully.

"Mommy will teach you how to play the piano…"

Toni smiles from ear to ear.

"Mommy?"

"Yes honey?"

"Just don't forget, you have to be ready when mom arrives…"

"Don't worry, I will…"

* * *

 

Later in the night, Quinn finally arrived.

"I'm coming!" Beth shouts and runs to the door.

She opens the door and smiles full of pride; right in front of her is the sight of her beautiful mother who dressed up as planned at Judy's house.

"Ma'am, please come in …"

"Thank you…"

"Your lady is upstairs; she'll be here any minute…"

Quinn smiles widely and kisses her daughter.

"Mom, you can't kiss me…"

"I sure can…"

Beth rolls her eyes. "Let me take your coat… and your package…"

"Just don't eat too much okay?"

"I'll try to control Toni…" She smirks.

They walk toward the living room and when they get there Rachel is coming down stairs.

As she descends the stairs and Quinn looks at her with such intensity and love, all Rachel can think is that it has always been there, Quinn always had a special way of looking at her.

The blonde smiles lovingly as her magnetic hazel eyes bewitch Rachel's chocolate ones.

"You are beautiful," Quinn takes her wife's hand and kisses it fondly.

Hours ago Beth gave her precise instructions. She should dress up.

"Well, thank you… I'm curious to know where this place is; I mean, look at us… and are you sure we should let Toni with Beth?"

Beth and Quinn giggles.

"What?"

"They will be fine…"

"I don't know…"

"Enough with the talk ladies; please follow me…"

Rachel narrows her eyes. "What are you guys plotting?"

"Nothing… let's go…"

Quinn takes her to the dining room where the table is set; the silverware, the plates and the glasses.

"Welcome mommy…" Toni was waiting for them. "I-will-be-your-wai-tress-to-ni-ght…" Toni says in such an adorable way that makes Rachel melt.

"Oh my God!" Rachel beams with joy. "You girls… when you did it?"

"You were getting dressed…" Beth says happily. "As Toni said she will be your waitress tonight and I'll be your cook…"

"I cook too!"

"No…"

"Yes!" she stomps her foot.

"Toni…" Quinn says firmly.

"I listen Beth…" the little girl says promptly.

"Good…"

"Come on little thing, we have a dinner to make…"

"Quinn, do you really think this is a good idea?"

"Don't worry… Beth?"

"I know, don't worry, she will be behaved and sitting on her chair, right Toni? Or… bed…" Beth points up playfully.

"I sit…"

"Good, let's go!" Beth takes her on her arms and kisses her cheek.

Quinn smiles at her daughters and then she turns to her wife.

"So?"

"You girls…" Rachel shakes her head. "I… I loved it, really…"

"I told it was a very exclusive place…"

They laugh.

"I want to inform that the dinner will be ready soon," Beth gets close and pours the glasses with wine then she leaves the dining room.

A few minutes later Toni comes from the kitchen.

"Here mommy…"

Quinn helps the little girl. She is carrying a small plate with a single bread, Beth comes right way with the appetizers.

"You know what? I love my waitress…" Rachel says happily.

The little brunette smiles prideful.

"Ladies, your appetizers, Italian bread with tomato…"

"That's beautiful honey!"

"Thanks, now, if you excuse me… come on Toni…"

The two sisters get back to the kitchen.

"I have the perfect family…" She sighs.

"A toast to that?" Quinn arches an eyebrow.

"Surely…"

They toast and drink.

"There is any special reason for all this? Or you just decided to make me feel like the most special woman in the world?"

"You are the most special woman in the world, but I do have a reason…"

Oh God! Did I forget something?

"And you'll find out after dinner…"

"Okay…"

"Now let's eat… or Beth will complain…"

One hour later…

"Okay… sorry for the wait; here it is…"

She places Rachel's plate first.

"Warm Macaroni and Mozzarella Salad with Herbs to Lady Rachel Berry…"

"No way… how?"

Beth giggles.

"And… the same for Lady Quinn Fabray, but…" She trails off. "With Bacon in it…"

"No seriously, and I can't cook?"

"Well, grandma is really good at teaching…"

"That's beautiful Beth… really…"

"Yes it is honey, thank you…" Quinn kisses her daughter's hand.

"We should be cooking for you…" Rachel states.

"Don't worry with us…" Beth smirks.

"Yeah…" Quinn giggles. "You have something in here…" She cleans Beth's chin.

"Beth…" Toni calls her sisters and gets close to them. "I want more pie…"

Her mouth is smeared with the sweet evidence.

"They're eating pie?"

"You guys are eating pie?" Quinn says dramatically.

"Beth say, Mom Quinn buy…"

The blonde bites her bottom lip. "It's just a little bit of pie…"

Rachel couldn't really get mad at that. "Just a little bit…"

"Well, enjoy your dinner, we will enjoy our…" She smiles widely. "Let's go get more pie Tony and watch cartoons!"

"Yay!"

"Well…" Quinn takes her fork. "Bon appetite…"

Rachel smiles can't get any bigger anymore.

After they finished, Beth served the dessert.

"And last but not least… your dessert, apple and blueberry shortcake pie…"

"I love blueberry…"

"I love Rachel Berry…"

"You made that by yourself?"

"Yeah…" She grimaces and then she turns to Beth. "Your sister?"

"Sleeping on the couch; I'll take her to bed…" She leaves.

"So are you going to tell me?" Rachel asks.

"What?"

"You know what..."

"Do I?"

Rachel narrows her eyes.

"Okay, I know what…"

"Mom, mommy, good night…" Beth approaches them with Toni sleeping in her arms.

"Good night my baby…"

"Good night Beth," Rachel stands up. "Come here…" She hugs her daughter and kisses her. "I love you, you're perfect, and I loved the dinner…"

"Yeah, it was perfect sweetie…"

"Thank you; and I love you too mommy, I love you both… see you tomorrow…"

"Sleep well."

Rachel kisses her one more time and then she sits again.

"I have a surprise for you…"

"Really? I think my heart can't take more surprises…"

"It's not really a surprise surprise but…"

"What is it?"

"Did you finish eating?"

"Yes,"

"I'll take the dishes, go check the girls… I'll be there in a minute…"

"Okay…"

They press their lips together and kiss each other softly and slowly.

"Don't be long…"

"I won't…"

* * *

 

When Quinn gets in their master bedroom hiding something in her hand, Rachel is already lying in the bed.

"Oh God Rachel…"

"What?" She says cynically.

"I love this nightie…"

"Really?"

"Yes… I think I don't have to tell you how sexy you look in it…"

"You have…"

The blonde walks toward the bed, her eyes never leaving her wife's exquisite frame.

"You're so sexy baby…"

She climbs onto bed and gets close to her wife.

"My surprise?"

Rachel asks as Quinn leans and presses their lips together in a heated kiss. The blonde pulls away.

"Could you stop being this sexy?"

The brunette laughs.

"I'm serious, I'm trying to focus, okay… close your eyes…"

Rachel gets a little curious but she does what her wife asked.

"Now you can open your eyes…"

In front of her is a box with the two most beautiful wedding rings she's ever seen. And it's amazing but she actually knows which one is hers and which one is Quinn's.

"They got ready…"

She nods weakly, eyes glazed over the rings.

"I would like to say that in these six years we are together, four years married; my life has been nothing less than wonderful… I love you Rachel Berry, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life…"

"Even though I don't deserve it…" Rachel's eyes are full of tears now. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you too Quinn…"

She kisses her wife passionately.

"Can I?"

"Please…"

Quinn puts Rachel's ring on her wife's finger and Rachel smiles; she was right about the rings. They are very similar but yet different from each other. Quinn's is more classical and Rachel's is more modern in its design. Anyone who knows them superficially would guess otherwise though.

Rachel takes Quinn's ring and slides on the blonde exquisite finger. They stare at each other for while.

"You know what? You're with too much clothes…"

The blonde smirks and stands up. She started with a fast pace but as Rachel's eyes are following her every movement, she slows down a little. Item by item she gets more exposed.

When she is only in her bra and panties, Quinn feels her wife's hand on her hand. Rachel decides it is enough. She can't take that leisurely pace anymore.

She grabs the waistband of Quinn's panties and in one motion she pulls the blonde on top of her.

They immediately start kissing each other. Quinn takes off Rachel's nightie while the brunette unclasps the blonde's bra; she tosses it away quickly as she opens her mouth up to her wife and she feels Quinn's tongue slips in. Rachel lets it in deeper and deeper as Quinn presses her body into hers, their naked breasts pressing against each other. She entwines her tongue with Quinn's licking around her lips.

Rachel is amazed. She always thought sex was good, but this, she and Quinn, she doesn't remember being this excited before.

She wants to make Quinn moan, to make her come, she wants to come herself; she wants everything.

But right now there is only one thing she didn't do, well, yet.

Mostly because Quinn is a… lion? Yes, definitely, she is a lion in bed.

This won't stop Rachel now, nothing will. She gets on top and kisses her wife more passionately. She takes her naked breasts in hands, pushing them together, squeezing them, lifting them, and feeling their weight.

Quinn moans louder.

Rachel then rubs her thumbs over them, gently, making them harder. She leans down and starts sucking her wife's breasts. She goes down, she has a target; she continues to trace her lips and tongue over Quinn's toned lower abdomen.

She gets where she wanted and spreads her wife's legs further apart; she smells Quinn's scent and her own desire grows immediately. She lowers her face in the blonde wet sex.

"Oh Rachel… Please baby, I need your mouth on me…"

She doesn't need to be asked twice. With the tip of her tongue Rachel licks Quinn's lips from the bottom to the top.

"Oh yeah…"

Licking back up to her clit she sucks it and runs her tongue up and down. She licks every corner of Quinn's sex; she is so sweet, it is all Rachel can think.

She sticks her tongue inside and Quinn starts a rocking motion against her face; Rachel holds her legs as she increases the pace; her climax getting closer.

"Baby, I'm… oh Rachel… Mmm…" She bites her lip, her body convulsing with delight. "Baby… oh… oh… Rachel!"

She comes all over Rachel's mouth and the brunette smirks at she gets a taste of Quinn's nectar for the first time.

She crawls up kissing her wife's body all the way up and nestles on her neck.

"Did I do well?"

"Amazing!" Quinn kisses her lips. "Now it's my turn!"

* * *

 

A few weeks ago she would never imagine this, she is in the supermarket with her perfect wife, something so simple and yet amazing.

"I just remembered, we forgot Beth's soda… I'll go get it…"

"Don't be long okay?"

"Okay…"

Quinn kisses her cheek and walks away. Rachel gets towards the supermarket cashier and she gasps.

"You! What are you doing here?" She says irritated.

"it's good to see you..."

"You're not sending me back..."

"Look at you, all domestic and shit...You really figured some things out, huh?"

"I'm not going back!" She shouts, calling the attention of the people around. "Did you hear me?! I am not going back, do you understand?!"

He looks at her, compassion on his face.

"You can't do this. You can't keep coming in and out of people's lives, messing things up..." She exhales heavily. "I've got kids…"

"You know what the word glimpse means, R? It's by nature an impermanent thing. What about your mother?"

She freezes for a moment.

"I'm staying…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! And you go fuck yourself!"

"Rach? What's happening?"

Quinn glares at him, fury in her eyes.

"Hi, Quinn…"

He smiles at the blonde woman and she frowns confused.

"Let's go to another cashier baby…" Rachel asks sweetly.

"It was a glimpse Rachel…" he says calmly.

* * *

 

At night, surely, she is dreary.

Rachel walks to Toni; the girl is sleeping soundly in her bed. She gently kisses her daughter on the head, careful not to wake her baby girl.

"I love you Toni; I love you so much…" her tears are wetting her face. "I can't lose you…" She strokes brunette hair. "Mommy loves you…"

_Isn't she lovely?_

_Isn't she wonderful?_

_Isn't she precious?_

Moments later she is standing on the side of Beth's bed. She kisses her cheek fondly.

"Is it morning yet?" Beth says sleepy.

"No, honey; go back to sleep…"

She closes her eyes as Rachel stands there for a moment looking at her, sadness all over her face.

"Beth… I just want you to know, mother or sister, I love you…" more tears run down her face. "You're an amazing girl Beth…"

She leaves Beth's bedroom.

Standing in front of their bedroom she is not sure if she is ready to this.

She walks in, Quinn is reading.

"Hey…" Quinn says looking up from her book.

"Hey…" Rachel sits in front of her wife.

"What's wrong?"

"You know me so well… right?"

Quinn nods smiling, but her smile fades away when she sees the tears on her wife's face. She tosses her book away.

"Have you ever thought about how our lives would be if… if I had chosen Finn instead of you?"

"Rach…"

"Would you forgive me if I had made a wrong choice? And regretted it later?" she sobs. "Please, Quinn I need to know… would you still love me six years after I've let you go?"

"What you mean? Baby, what's wrong?"

"I love you…"

"That's what matter to me…" She cups Rachel's face.

"Promise?"

"I promise… I love you nothing will change that…"

"I changed that…" Rachel cries again. "I'm so sorry Quinn; I was a coward when I let you go…"

"You're here now…"

"I need you to remember me, Quinn; how I am right now, right this very moment. I need you to put that image in your heart and keep it with you, no matter what happens…"

"You're scaring me…"

"No… don't be scared…"

Rachel hugs her, she hugs her tight.

"Can you do that?"

"Yes," she pulls away. "Now come to bed…"

"Sure…"

They lay in bed facing each other. Rachel is stroking Quinn's hair as the blonde's eyes close slowly.

She watches Quinn asleep, a sad look in her eyes.

As she continues to watch her wife, her own eyelids appear to grow heavy; she tries to fight the sleep, opening her eyes.

"I love you Quinn…"

She focuses on the blonde, but it's useless.

Finally, she closes her eyes, falling into a deep sleep...

Light streams on her face.

It's morning.

Rachel reaches over to Quinn's side of the bed, there's no one there.

Just an empty space.

She opens her eyes, she is in her old bedroom.

"Quinn!"

She sits up on her bed, her breathing is erratic.

_Quinn…_

Her tears stream down her face.

"Quinn..."


	9. Stubbornness sweet stubbornness

She closes her eyes again; it can't be over, she wants to go back. She needs to go back.

Rachel opens her eyes. Nothing.

Nothing but the sight of her old bedroom; she gets out of her bed quickly. Maybe she was visiting her dads last night? She holds onto this shred of hope.

The Broadway star runs down the stairs, puts on her coat and snow boots and goes toward her daddy's car.

A few minutes later she is standing in front of their house. She tries to open the door but it's closed. She rings the bell and waits eagerly.

The door opens and an old woman emerges from inside.

"Yes, can I help you?" The woman says sympathetically.

"Who are you?" Rachel frowns.

"Excuse me?"

"This is my house; this is my… house?"

"Is this a joke? I'm sorry but I won't tolerate this…"

"I live in this house," She cries out. "With my family…" She whispers sadly.

The old woman gets upset.

"Please go away or I'll call the police…" She says rudely.

Despair, it is what Rachel is feeling now.

"I'm sorry for bothering you, I'm leaving…" She shrugs.

Rachel walks slowly toward the car. She drives back home and when she gets there she goes straight to her bedroom.

She leans her back on the door and stares at herself; a picture of her, that is.

A five years old Rachel.

Toni…

"Rachel honey? Are you awake?'

Hiram knocks on the door.

"Yeah…"

"Come downstairs, Leroy and I are going to make pancakes…"

"Okay…"

She sighs and wallows for another moment in her own sadness. Then she leaves her bedroom.

"Morning baby girl!" Hiram shouts as she gets inside the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas!" Leroy adds.

"Christmas?" She whispers sadly.

_Of course…_

"Are you okay honey?" The taller father asks.

"Daddy, dad… we have to talk…"

"Sure…" Leroy and Hiram look at each other, concern on their faces.

"Is this about your divorce?" Hiram questions her.

"No, I'm going to divorce, that's settled… and I'm okay with this…"

"We're listening…" Leroy states.

"I married Finn in love with someone else…"

She says forthrightly, and then she takes a deep breath.

"A woman…"

They get astonished.

"What?!" Hiram opens his mouth widely.

"Rachel… you… you're…"

"Gay?"

They both nod emphatically.

"Before I put some kind of label on my sexuality, I want to tell you guys something…"

She gets close to the counter's chair and sits, their eyes never leaving her.

"Mo… Shelby knows, she tried to make me call off the wedding… we had this big fight, she told me that she knew I was in love with… well… I pushed her away." She sighs.

"Oh, that explains why she wasn't at the wedding…"

"Yes daddy…"

"Are you still in love with this woman?" Hiram stares at her in a fond way.

"Yes…"

"Who is she Rachel?" Leroy questions her daughter, anxiety plastered on his face.

She closes her eyes and her tears starts streaming down.

"Quinn…"

"Quinn?" He gets surprised. "Quinn Fabray?"

She nods, crying hard.

"Cheerleader Quinn Fabray? Yale Quinn Fabray? Oscar nominee Quinn Fabray?"

"That's the one dad…" She smiles sadly.

"Does she… does she feel the same way?" Hiram asks gently.

"Somehow…"

"But you guys don't, I mean, in one moment you were best friends and in the other you were strangers…"

"Six years ago, she told me she was in love with me; she told me that she had always been in love with me… but I refused her love… we didn't get apart overnight dad, but you're right we've become strangers; the physical distance helped a lot, but I'm the one to blame."

"That's why you're getting divorced?"

"No… Finn and I didn't work… I still care about him and he cares about me, and I really hope we can be friends…" She muses a little. "So, I have to say, I don't think I'm gay… but definitely, I feel attracted to women, I had some little affairs before marrying Finn…"

"Why did you marry him?" Hiram sighs.

"It was the easiest choice…"

"Easiest choice?"

"I've disappointed my mother, I've disappointed my best friend and I broke Quinn's heart… it's okay dad, you can say it…"

"Have you been hiding your sexuality with your marriage?" Leroy finally asks.

"No, I really loved Finn and I was faithful to him all this time; but yes, when I said it was the easiest choice, I meant that I chose Finn because he is a guy…"

"But baby girl, we raised you…"

"I know, I know… you both did an amazing job, you taught me to be an open-hearted person and you taught me to love people, regardless of color, religion and sexuality; that's what I loved the most in glee club; how, despite our differences, we managed to become friends, yes we used to fight nearly every day, but we loved each other… but being in glee also showed me how hard it is to be different… I wanted to have a perfect family dads, but that's the point, perfect in the eyes of whom? Society?"

"So?"

"Yes…"

She nods ashamed.

"But I started wondering, why was I caring about what society might say? I never cared… I let her go because I was afraid, because I was a coward and because for the first time ever I wasn't being myself…"

They remain silent for awhile digesting everything that was said.

"Well, the past is the past honey… would it have been better if you had opened up to us? Sure, should we have noticed this? Yes… but I'm glad you told us now…" Hiram smiles at her.

"H is right; but tell me, does she know how you feel?"

"No, she doesn't know; and now I'm afraid that is too late…"

"So that's it? Will you give up?" Leroy questions her.

They stare at her waiting for her answers.

"No, I love her too much to give up…"

* * *

 

This house used to be her joy; but now every step she takes makes her feel down. Though, she knows that when she gets back to New York it will be far worse.

After a considerably quiet breakfast she left her dads.

Rachel went straight to her bed.

She might be there, lying on that mattress forever. She is really considering this idea.

And then all of a sudden, something hits her.

"Mom!"

Rachel stands up quickly to take her phone.

"Where is my fucking phone?!"

Right there in the nightstand.

"See… I didn't lose you…"

She calls her mother.

"Hello…"

Rachel smiles from ear to ear.

"Hello… uh… Shelby?"

"Rachel?"

"Yes…" She bursts into tears. "Mom… oh God I'm so happy to hear your voice…"

"Honey, what's wrong, are you crying? Where are you?"

"You were right mom, about me, about the wedding, about Quinn…"

"Rachel where are you? Are you in New York? Please sweetie, tell me what's going on?"

"I'm fine; I just wanted to hear your voice… I'm here in Lima…"

"Lima? I'm here in Lima too… are you in your dads' house? I'm going there now…"

"You're here? Where?"

"My mother's house…"

"Yes, of course… I forgot…"

"I'll be there in a minute…"

"No, don't move, I'll come to you…"

"Okay…"

"Mom?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"I love you…"

Not long after she is in front of the house of Shelby's mother.

Am I about to meet my grandma?

She is indeed, but is somebody else who answers the door.

"Ray!"

Happiness, joy, bliss; she can barely breathe.

"Beth!"

Rachel gets close to the girl and puts Beth into her arms. She hugs the girl tight.

"Merry Christmas!" The blonde girl says into her sister's arms.

"Merry Christmas…" She pulls away.

"Did I grow too much, or you're short like that?"

"I'm not that short…"

Beth giggles.

"My God… you're more beautiful than I remembered; you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, did you know that?"

"I thought my mother was the prettiest girl you've ever seen…"

The brunette smiles widely.

"I said that huh?"

"Yes you said… I think I was nine or something…"

Rachel looks at her fondly.

"Come in, mom is coming; she is dressing up for you…"

They walk inside.

"I loved the gift you sent me by the way…"

"I'm glad to hear it…" She mentally curses herself.

Send the gift… could I be any colder?

"Do you want something?"

"My mom?" She teases.

Beth smiles.

"Rachel?"

"There she is…" Beth says playfully. "I'll leave you guys, but I'll be back…"

"Come here…" Rachel takes her sister's arm pulls her closer and kisses her cheek. "Now you can go…"

The blonde girl giggles and the two brunettes watch as she walks away.

"Honey, are you okay? You seemed…"

Before Shelby can finish Rachel throws herself into her mother's arms.

"I'm sorry…"

"What for?"

Rachel sighs heavily.

"For everything…"

"Take a seat honey…"

They sit and Shelby smiles at her daughter.

"Talk to me."

"I'm getting divorced…"

"I'm sorry to hear that, I'm here for you…"

"I-I… I still love her, I mean, I am undeniably in love with her… you were right…"

"It's not about being right or wrong; I just didn't want you to be unhappy…"

"Well, where is she?"

Shelby mother's appears in the living room.

"Rach? Uh, I want you to meet my mother…"

Rachel stands up and gets close to her grandma.

"Hi, Mrs. Corcoran, it's a pleasure to finally meet you…"

"Better late than never, uh?" The older woman teases her. "Come closer dear, I want to see you better…" She smiles. "Aren't you a beauty?" She turns to her daughter. "You were right; she is just like you Shel…"

"She is…"

"Are you staying to lunch dear?"

"Well I…"

"Rach?"

"Yes mom?"

"I don't think it's a good idea…"

"Why?"

"Mom could you give us a moment?"

"Sure…" She kisses Rachel cheek. "It was a pleasure to meet you too sweetie…"

Rachel smiles her big smile.

"Quinn is coming…" Shelby says calmly.

"Quinn is here?!" She shouts eagerly.

"Yes, to spend Christmas with Beth, I know you guys have a lot to talk, but it's Christmas and they have so limited time together…"

"No, of course… they need to be together on Christmas…" She smiles widely.

"But tell me; are you okay with the divorce thing?"

They talked a little bit more. Rachel is happy, it still sucks coming back to the old life, but having her mother back is good, more than good.

"I'm glad you're not mad at me…"

"As if that would ever happen…" Shelby kisses her daughter's cheek.

After a long good bye she leaves.

She has to go, she don't want to ruin Beth's Christmas.

But she leaves the house in bliss.

Quinn is in Lima.

And first of all, and before trying to win Quinn's heart, she needs to put an end in her relationship with Finn. Not that this has not happened yet; in any case they need a closure.

Then she will be free.

* * *

 

"Rach!"

"Hi Kurt," she hugs her best friend.

"Hi! Come in…"

Rachel gets inside the house. Even with the divorce, she still feels at home in there.

"I need to talk to you Kurt…"

"Oh God, that's something wrong?" He opens his eyes widely.

"Not exactly…"

"Okay, let's go to my bedroom…"

"Uh, I need to see Finn first…"

Kurt frowns. He knows about the divorce, of course.

"Sure… he is in his bedroom, you know the way…"

"Yes, I won't be long, and then we can talk…"

Rachel goes to Finn's bedroom. She knocks on the door and she hears his voice from inside.

"Come in…"

She walks in.

"Rach?"

"Hi…"

"Hi…" He gets close to her and kisses her head.

"Merry Christmas…" She says weakly.

"Merry Christmas…"

An awkward silence.

"So…"

"Okay, this is ridiculous… our marriage didn't work but it doesn't mean we'll be strangers… right?"

"No… I don't want us to be strangers…" He smiles.

"Good…" She sits on the bed. "Finn?"

"Yes?" he sits on his computer chair.

"I'm sorry…"

"Why?"

"I don't know; I guess… you were right; in these last years I haven't been myself, but I want to get back…" She sighs and looks at his eyes. "I'm sorry for our marriage…"

"Well, I hope you're back now, cause I really miss your old self…"

"I am…"

He nods. "But don't beat yourself; I wasn't exactly the perfect husband…"

"Actually, you were quite good…"

"Really?"

"When you weren't calling me selfish, that is…"

They laugh.

"I need to tell you something…" Rachel bites her lip eagerly.

He looks at her with a straight face.

"I'm in love with someone else…"

Finn clenches his jaw.

"When did it happen?"

"I've never cheated on you, if that's what you're thinking…"

"When?!" He raises his voice a little.

"Before we married; actually way before…"

"What?" He gets shocked. "Who?"

"Quinn…"

He shrugs. "Oh…"

"Nothing ever happened… I promise…"

"I believe in you… I just…"

"Do you remember the day that I was going to L.A. but you stopped me?"

"Yeah…"

He remembers very well.

"I was going after her because she told me she loved me; but I chose you… for the wrong reasons though…"

They remain silent for a moment, reflecting on everything.

"She is here…" His gaze is unfocused.

She nods.

"So, you want my blessing? That's why you came here? You will start dating her?"

"No…first of all, I don't need your blessing, after we sign the papers, we free to be with whoever we want…"

"That easy?" He disdains.

"No… I just… I'm here because I care about you Finn…" She sighs and starts over again. "I know nothing about her… we barely talk to each other, you know that… she probably doesn't feel the same way anymore…"

"Yeah right…"

"Look, I'm just being honest with you… I really want us to be friends…"

"But if she still loves you? Will you be with her?"

"Yes…"

He sighs audibly. "I'll need time to get used to this…"

"Sure… uh… Listen, I… I'm going to see Kurt…"

"Okay…"

She stands up, gets close to him and kisses his forehead; then she walks out of the room.

"Everything okay?"

Kurt says as soon as she enters in his bedroom.

"Yeah…"

She throws herself on her best friend's bed.

"Hey… tell me…"

As she lays in his bed and Kurt starts stroking her long hair, her mind flies away.

**_Flashback:_ **

_"Just breathe slowly honey; you'll get better…"_

_"Kurt I need to know where is she… I need to know if she is okay…"_

_"Rach, calm down; you're just having a panic attack… because, you know…"_

_She closes her eyes._

_"Okay, Quinn is not answering her phone…" Tina says as soon as she approaches them._

_Rachel whines and starts pacing on the room._

_"See? I tried to call her but she didn't answer too…"She says eager._

_"Look, she doesn't want to answer her phone… so what? And if I know her, I know why she doesn't want to answer it…"_

_"Don't start…"_

_"Me? You're the one worried about Quinn Fabray when your future husband is waiting for you in the altar! Stop pacing in this room!"He shouts._

_Tina and Blaine eyes open wide._

_"Well, I'm sorry if I'm concern Kurt, but the last time I was about to get married she almost died!"_

_She takes her phone._

_"You're doing it again Rachel…"_

_He stares at her._

_"What?"_

_"Please, stop it now… I love Finn, but I can see what is happening in here…"_

_"Nothing is happening; I'm going to marry Finn as soon as I hear she is fine…"_

_He lets out a laugh._

_"So you can have your perfect family…"_

_"That's something wrong with this?"_

_"Except for the part you're in love with someone else?"_

_"Baby…" Blaine reprimands his fiancé._

_"No! I can't be quiet now, look at you…" He gestures at her._

_"Hey guys! Wow! You're beautiful Rach…" Brittany is all smiles. "What's up?"_

_"Where is Santana?" Rachel asks sadly._

_"Well… she…" She sighs. "She wanted to come, really, but she decided to stay with Quinn…"_

_"Why? What's wrong? Where is Quinn?"_

_"B, Rachel is worried about Quinn, because you know, the accident?"_

_"Oh…" She nods._

_"So, please, could you tell her that Quinn is fine?"_

_"She is fine Rach I promise; don't be mad at her, she couldn't come…"_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yes, I'm sure; I just talked to Santana moments ago…"_

_Rachel puts back her façade and takes a deep breath._

_"Okay, so now," She looks at Kurt. "I can get married…"_

**_Now:_ **

"I believe this is the moment you say: I told you so…"

"Why?"

"Well, I'm going to get divorced…"

"I'd never do that…"

"That's not all…" She draws her lips into her mouth. "I'm in love with Quinn…"

He stares at her with curiosity.

"What you mean?"

"I'm in love…"

"No, I get that; that's not news, but why are you saying this now?"

She sits up. "Cause I want her…"

"What?!"

"I had this…"

_Dream? No… It wasn't a dream…_

"Dream… last night; Kurt I…" She starts crying. "I need her…"

"Hey, don't be like this… I… well," He tilts his head to the side. "I told you so…"

She giggles and hits him with a pillow.

"What are you going to do?"

"I really have no idea… I need to see Brittany, do you wanna come?"

"Why do you need to see Britt?"

"She is Quinn's best friend after all and well… Santana, she will try to protect Quinn at all costs… I need Brittany as my ally…"

_As per usual…_

"Okay… that's a start…"

His phone starts ringing.

"Oh! Speak of the devil…" He answers his phone. "Hello Satan!"

Rachel laughs amused with her friends; because despite the distance, they are friends.

She thinks about how idiot she has been.

"Lady Hummel…"

He rolls his eyes.

"What's up?"

"Listen; are you going to show up or what? Brittany wants to know, obviously…"

"Sure… Brittany… anyway, where are you guys?"

"My mother's…"

"You mean your home?"

"I live in L.A…"

"Whaaatever…"

"Whatever back."

He giggles.

"Okay, I'm coming and I'm taking someone with me…"

"Sure, B wants to see Blaine too…"

"Santana stop pretending you don't care, I know you miss us; by the way, it's not Blaine, it's someone else…"

"Who?"

"It's a surprise…"

"Kurt!"

"Bye!"

He hangs up.

"Well, it seems we have a meeting…"

"Yeah…" She gets a little eager. "I'm screwed…"

Kurt shakes his head. This is going to be an interesting Christmas.

* * *

 

"Kurt, I don't know…"

"Don't be a fool…"

They are standing in the front door of the Lopez house.

"I'll get the door!"

Brittany shouts happily.

"Hey…" She beams with joy as soon as she sees Rachel. "Rach!"

"Hi…"

The tall blonde hugs and lifts the brunette in the air.

"It's so good to see you!"

"It's good to see you too Britt!"

"Come in guys…"

"Okay, who is this mysterious…"

Santana stops in mid sentence when she sees who is with Kurt.

"Rachel?"

"Hi Santana…"

"You might want to sit down girls; Rachel has something to say…"

"Kurt!"

"What? The sooner the better..."

"What's it?" Brittany asks curious.

"I finally realized… I…" She swallows hard. "I…"

"Oh God!" He throws his hand in the air. "Rachel is still in love with Quinn and she wants our help to get her lady…"

"That's not exactly what I wanted to say…" Rachel huffs annoyed.

"No fucking way… no!"

"San…"

"No! So what? after ages you decided you can mess with her life? She is fine without you…" She exhales soundly. "What about Finn?"

"We're getting a divorce…"

She stares at the Broadway star for a moment.

But then…

Her hand hits Rachel's cheek hard.

"What the hell!" She shouts angrily.

"That was for being stupid…" Santana smirks.

"Well, I'm glad my divorce it's such an amusement to you…"

"What? You think I'm happy?"

No, she wasn't. Santana wasn't happy at all; Rachel can see it.

"You're okay?" She asks roughly.

Rachel nods. The Latina frowns, concern on her face.

"And Finn?"

Despite her utter astonishment, Rachel answers her.

"He is fine… kind of…"

Before Rachel can do anything.

Another slap.

"What the fuck!"

She rubs her other cheek. Kurt and Brittany are shocked.

"That's for Quinn…"

"That's! ugh…well… I think I deserved it…"

"You did…"

Brittany wraps her arm around Rachel's shoulder and takes her to the couch with Kurt and Santana following the two women.

"Look, I know I messed up… but I love her…" she says as she sits.

"We know, San is being protective because, well, we saw how Quinn got…"

"B…" Santana sighs.

"Santana, they love each other…" Kurt says calmly.

"No Kurt, that was past… Quinn suffered enough, now she is finally happy, she moved on; you should do the same…"

"I don't want to…"

"You have to… damn it!" She huffs. "I knew this was going to happen!"

"San… love is complicated; it took me forever to figure it out … look at us baby, we had our ups and downs too…"

"I'll fight for her Santana; with or without your help…"

They all get thoughtful and the living room gets silent.

"I think it'll be better with my help…" Santana finally says.

Brittany and Kurt smile at her, excitement on their faces.

"Good, we all agree… enough with the drama, it's Christmas!" He says.

"And last day of Hanukah…" Rachel adds.

Laughing, yelling and teasing each other they engaged in a joyful talk, as if they were again teenagers.

Moments later the doorbell rings.

"Who is it baby?" Brittany asks.

"I don't know, I'll see…"

Santana walks toward the front door. As she opens the door and sees who is standing in her porch, she smirks.

"Hey there, Merry Christmas!" Quinn says happily.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas for you Fabray…" She says cynically.

The blonde woman frowns a little.

"Come in bitch…"

"I won't be long…"

They keep walking inside.

"I was with Beth, did you know that Ra…."

She freezes, her eyes locked onto those brown eyes that have always bewitched her.

"Hi…" Rachel says as she smiles shyly.

It is funny but it seems that they are the only ones in the room.

"Hi…"

"Hi Quinn." Kurt says smirking.

"Hi-hi… hi Kurt, how are you?" She manages to take her eyes from Rachel's chocolate ones and turns to him. He gets close to her and they hug each other. "Where is Blaine?"

"With his parents…"

"Oh… right…"

Rachel stands up to get close. She has to fight the urge to kiss the blonde right there.

"It's good to see you Quinn,"

"Yes, it's good to see you too…" She says casually.

"You're with long hair…"

"Too long actually, it's because of the movie; I'll cut it though and this time I think I'll cut like senior year again…"

"Oh yeah, I like you with short hair… I mean… I like you with long hair too… any hair actually, you're beautiful anyway…"

"Uh… thank you…"

"I just…"

"S? Can I talk to you?" Quinn turns abruptly to her best friend.

"Sure…"

"Now…"

Quinn grabs the Latina's arm and drags her upstairs. They walk in Santana's bedroom.

"What is she doing here?"

"Who?"

She rolls her eyes. "Your mother…"

"My mother lives here so…"

"Rachel!"

"Well, she is visiting me and Britt…"

"Why?"

"She missed us?"

Quinn sighs soundly.

"Look, I have to go… I just passed by to wish merry Christmas… we're leaving tomorrow right?"

"You're ridiculous…" Santana looks up playfully. "and I really thought you had moved on, you know? I thought you had got over her… I can see you didn't…"

"What are you talking about? I'm totally over her…"

"Yeah yeah, right…" She says annoyed. "they are getting divorced…"

"Who?"

"Rachel and potato's head…"

The blonde stares at her friend, curiosity in her eyes.

"Aw… do I have your attention now?"

"You're an ass; what is the rule?"

"You love her…"

Quinn ignores her friend.

"Never mention the R world!"

"Screw the rule! You love her, and she loves you!"

"Don't start it again…"

"No, this time is different…"

"Stop it!"

Before Santana can say anything else, Quinn leaves the room and goes downstairs.

Meanwhile, Rachel is pacing eagerly in the living room.

"Hey guys… I'm sorry but I have to go… "

"What? Why?" Rachel says promptly.

"Mom and Frannie are waiting for me…"

"But…"

"It was good to see you Rach..."

Rachel opens her mouth in disbelief.

"Bye Kurt, bye Britt, see you tomorrow…"

"Bye Quinn…"

"Okay…" Brittany says confused.

She walks toward the door as Santana rejoins them again.

"What happened?"

Kurt asks her right away.

"She is Quinn…" Santana shrugs.

"She is…"

Rachel says amused and then she runs after Quinn.

"Quinn!"

She calls the hasty actress.

"Quinn!"

The blonde stops, she stood still for a moment and then she turns around.

"Yes?"

Suddenly Rachel is speechless. Sure, the beauty is still there, but her façade makes the brunette remember the old Quinn; the one who tormented her in high school. Or maybe she is just overreacting, because somehow she got used to the look of utter adoration in those hazel eyes. And she wants it back.

"Can I talk to you?"

"I really have to go…"

"No, you don't… I know what you're doing…"

The blonde rakes Rachel's body up and down.

"And what am I doing Rachel?" She says coldly.

"You're running away…"

"From you?"

Rachel nods.

"Why I'd be running away from you…"

"It's okay, I understand you… first of all I want to say that I'm sorry, for this six years; I should've been a better friend…"

"I got over it…" She says sarcastically.

"I know…" Rachel stares at the blonde.

"What do you want Rachel?"

She gets a little closer and she can see Quinn's attitude crumbling a little.

"Do you ever think about us, Quinn? About that night…"

Bemused, Quinn laughs. Then she sees that Rachel is not laughing.

"You're serious..."

The brunette nods calmly.

"What do you want from me? You want me to tell you that everything that happened was okay? Yes, I was heartbroken... But I got over it; I moved on."

"You moved on?" She arches an eyebrow. "Easy like that?"

"People change Rachel, I changed; I don't know why you suddenly feel the need to revisit that time in our lives but I assure you, it's over..."

"Quinn…"

"I have to go…" She opens the car door. "Merry Christmas Rach…"

"I love you…" She stares intensely at the blonde.

Quinn gets paralyzed for a moment but she manages to enter in her car.

And Rachel watches as she drives away.

Not long after Kurt appears.

"Come on Rach… you'll freeze here…"

He wraps his arm around her shoulders and takes her inside.

"Well, I wasn't expecting her to give in quickly or that she would immediately jump on my arms, but I didn't think she would run away so fast…" Rachel says to her three friends.

"She still loves you Berry…" Santana states. "She just needs time…"

"Are you sure?"

"Sort of…"

"I'm with Santana…" Kurt nods playfully.

"San, are we leaving tomorrow?"

"I don't know baby we agreed we were going to go home together… Puck will do whatever she says obviously…"

"Puck is here?" Rachel huffs jealous.

"Of course, he wanted to see Beth…" Brittany answers her.

Rachel nods thoughtful. "She can't leave tomorrow, she won't go tomorrow…" She says resolute. "We need to talk… what time she'll take her plane?"

* * *

 

What did she say?

_I love you…_

So what? Rachel decided to mess up with her head?

She is fine, she moved on. She has a great life, without Rachel Berry in it!

Quinn is furious.

She parks her car and bursts inside her house.

"Quinnie?"

"Yes!"

She runs upstairs and locks herself in her bedroom. She huffs when she hears her phone ringing.

"What?"

"So you dumped Berry?"

"Do you have something relevant to say?"

"Besides, you're an idiot?"

"Yeah? Look, I didn't dump her; I needed to come home…"

"Sure… I'll tell you something, you just lost the chance of spending Christmas having wild make up sex…"

Quinn groans. "You're an ass…"

"You're thinking about it… aren't you?" She teases.

"No I'm not… S, please, if you're my friend then you know how hard it was for me to get over her…"

"I know, but…"

"Then we're done with this subject, you missed her, I'm fine with it… I'm sorry if somehow I kept you guys apart; but that's it, no more you're in love with Rachel stuff… okay?"

"Okay…"

* * *

 

It was a terrible night. She didn't sleep well. How could she sleep without Quinn by her side?

Moreover her mind was on overdrive. She needed to find a way to make Quinn see; they need each other.

And she needs to rush.

Because she can't stand being without Quinn, though she knows that the blonde can be very stubborn.

Very stubborn.

In fact next day, as she said, she is ready to leave.

"Are we really going?"

"Yes…"

"But Quinn…"

"B, I'm leaving today… you guys can stay though…"

She closes the suitcase that is on her bed.

"Why can't you talk to her?" Brittany says pouting.

"We talked, I said hi, she said hi… and that's it…"

"This is not right…"

"Britt, let it go… you know how she is…" Santana says annoyed. "All right Q, we're leaving today too…"

"Great…"

They hear a knock on the door.

"Come in!" Quinn shouts.

"Quinnie? You have a visit…"

"What?" She frowns. "Who's it?"

"Why don't you go to see by yourself?" Judy winks at her and leaves the room.

"What was that?"

She turns to her smirking friends. She narrows her eyes at them. Deep down she knows who is downstairs.

Stubbornness isn't only her thing, apparently.

She huffs and goes downstairs. Where in fact, Rachel is waiting for her in the living room.

"Two consecutive days, that's a record for us…" She states playfully.

"Yeah… I like your house…"

Rachel says happily as she looks around.

"Quinn, Britt and I are going home; we'll be here at six o'clock…"

"Hi Rach…" Brittany says happily. "See you later…" She winks at the brunette.

"Okay…"

Rachel smiles at her and Quinn narrows her eyes at the three animated women.

"So?"

"Forthright? Straight to the point?" She says playfully.

"That would be great…"

"I love you… I know I'm probably too late but I do, I love you Quinn and I really want to start over…"

"You want…" She laughs sarcastically. "You want to start over… what exactly, can you tell me?" Quinn arches her eyebrow.

"You're mad at me, I know…" She throws her hand in the air.

"I'm not… I'm not mad at you…" She crosses her arms childlike. "What you're doing?"

"God…" She sighs dramatically.

This is definitely not the Quinn that would melt with a simple smile. Rachel knows that she will have to fight hard.

"I just need time to prove you that I love you, please don't go today…"

"But… you don't have to prove anything; I don't want you to prove anything…"

"Please…"

"What about Finn anyway…" She looks away.

"We're over, I swear…"

She grins ironical.

"So you had a fight with him and decided to mess with my life? Then what? Are you going to run after him as soon as he snaps his fingers?"

"No… I won't…"

"No?"

"No, we're getting divorced… it's really over between us…"

"But you're still married?"

"Yes… but…"

"Rach… please…" She sighs. "Just go…"

"Quinn…"

"Just go!"

She shrugs disillusioned.

"Okay…"

Quinn presses her nails into her hands and Rachel turns around to leave. But then she stops, she won't give up like this.

"We had a house here in Lima…"

She turns around to face the blonde.

"We had a baby girl..."

"Don't do this, Rach..."

"She's a little precocious... yes, she is just like me…" She smiles prideful and wistful. "you carried her... you know, in your belly; and when she smiles..."

She is fighting back the tears.

"And you, you spoil her so much, but she listens to you, she always listens to you... you're a wonderful mother... not just with Toni, this is her name..."

Quinn looks at her, more and more interested.

"But with Beth too... You're just amazing... most of the time I don't know what to do, but not you… you always know what to do; you're amazing… "

Rachel smiles tearful; Quinn eyes are glazed onto the brunette in front of her.

"we... we are in love; seriously we can't stay away from each other, and we can't keep our hands away from each other, you can't keep your hands out of me..."

She giggles. "We make love almost every night…"

The blonde eyes are shining, her façade tumbling down. She can't hold her emotions anymore. She stares intensely at Rachel, the passion, the desire and the love emanating from her eyes.

"We made a lot of sacrifices, dealt with our share of surprises, but we stayed together..."

Rachel gets a little bit closer.

"Maybe it was all a dream; maybe I went to bed one lonely night in December, regretting my decisions, regretting that night... and imagined it all; but I swear, nothing has ever felt more real to me..."

They are very close now.

"I know we can both go on with our lives; and we'd both be fine; but I've seen what we can be like together... And I choose us..."

"Rachel…" Quinn tries to recompose herself.

"Please don't say anything now, just give me a chance to prove to you how much I love you, and then I swear, you can walk away and go on with your life…"

"What do you want?"

"I just need one day, tomorrow…"

It has been six years, six years trying to forget this girl, this woman in front of her. God knows how hard it was; but she can't deny Rachel, she never could.

"Okay, I just can't promise anything, I can't pretend that these six years didn't happen…"

Rachel nods happily.

"That's all I need…"

She puts her hand on the blonde's waist and pulls her closer. Rachel looks intensely at Quinn's hazel eyes and leans to kiss her cheek.

It isn't exactly a chaste kiss and not quick as well. She moves her mouth up and whispers on the blonde's ear.

"I'll see you tomorrow…"

The contact of Rachel's lips on her ear makes Quinn shiver. And then all of sudden the brunette pulls away.

"Bye Quinn…"

With a smirk on her lips she walks away, leaving a dazed Quinn behind.

"Fuck!" The actress exhales audibly. "What am I doing?"

_You can't stay, you know that right?_

"It's just one day…"

Maybe this is her final test. Maybe after tomorrow she will be free, she'll have the proof that she really moved on.

Maybe… Just maybe.

Because being honest with herself, she knows that this is not what is going to happen.

_No… I moved on, I'm sure…_

Or maybe Quinn Fabray is still an expert in denial.


	10. The person I can tell everything to

**Lima (2016)**

"I like girls…"

Judy closes her eyes, silently praying for help; she doesn't know what to say, so she stands up and goes to her bedroom.

"Mom…"

Quinn tries vainly; Judy leaves her sitting motionless on the couch. She is not exactly desperate or hopeless, even if her mother throws her out of the house it won't be the end of the world; she is twenty two, graduated and she has friends, real friends this time.

Yes, it won't be like six years ago, she is not pregnant and sixteen. But it will be tough anyway, she really doesn't want to lose her mother; they've learned to be a family, a real family, even Frannie and her perfect Christian husband.

She wipes her tears and goes to her bedroom.

As she starts packing more tears stream down her face; in this tearful state she goes to bed and cries herself to sleep.

Sun light filling the room, she hears a knock on the door.

"Quinnie?"

"Come in…" She says weakly.

"Morning honey, I made you a beautiful breakfast tray… I hope you hungry…"

Judy walks toward the bed as an astonished Quinn sits up.

"I… yeah, sure…"

"Guess what? I made bacon…"

The young Fabray rubs her eyes.

"That's great…" She is still confused.

Judy hands her the tray and looks at the suitcase on the floor.

"You're planning to go somewhere?"

"I… I thought…"

"You thought I was going to kick you out…"

Quinn remains silent.

"Well, I'm not…"

"No?"

"No, Quinn, sweetie, I know you have reasons to doubt me, but… I'm sorry; I shouldn't have let him kick you out…"

"It's okay…"

"No, it's not…" She sighs. "Anyway, I believe I have to explain my actions or better yet inactions yesterday… Quinnie I left you like that yesterday because I needed to be alone; I didn't want to say something stupid and prejudiced or I didn't want to be antiquated and biased, you know?"

"I understand… but… are you okay with this?"

"I'm okay if you're happy, I don't wanna lose you Quinnie… would I rather see you married to a man to give me grandchildren? Maybe, but I can deal with this…" Judy rolls her eyes. "See? This is the kind of thing I was referring…"

Quinn smiles and shakes her head happily. "Believe me I can't judge you…"

"You can eat now honey…"

"Yeah of course…"

They giggle happily. Quinn can barely believe that this is happening.

"So, are you going to tell me who she is?"

She chokes. "What?"

"Oh sweetie, I'm your mother… you know, you weren't eating well, you're here and not with your friends and you're always with red eyes, it was really clear to me, you are broken hearted; but that's the odd part and I got really confused, my Quinn, with broken heart? You never got heartbroken because of a boy; well, you answered my question last night…"

"That's not true; I got heartbroken when Finn dumped me in that funeral…"

"Don't mix up hurt pride with a broken heart; you got upset because he wanted to be with that Jewish girl…"

_So true…_

Quinn sighs.

"Rachel…"

"Oh… yes, I forgot you two are friends now; how is she by the way?"

"I'm in love with her…"

"What? You…"

"I'm in love with Rachel Berry…"

"Oh…"

"Yeah… that's why I'm here."

"Does she like girls too?"

"That's the frustrating part…" She throws her hand in the air. "She keeps sending me these signs, you know? Not just now… but since high school… okay, maybe I just imagined it all… it doesn't matter anyway, she is with him…"

"Who?"

"Finn, who else?"

"Sweetie, I know it's hard… anyway, you're beautiful and any boy, uh I mean girl… you like girls…" She says abashed.

Quinn smiles at her mother's endeavor.

"Any girl would kill to be with you…"

"That's the point mom, I don't know if girls is accurate; there's just one girl to me, there's just her…"

* * *

 

**Lima (2022)**

There was. She corrects herself.

_There was only one girl for me… there was…_

"So?"

She hears her mother's voice in the background.

"Quinnie?"

"Yes…" She finally backs to her senses.

"How was it?"

"What mom?" She turns to face the older woman.

"You and Rachel, your talk…"

"No big deal…"

"Mmhm, I can see that… are you leaving today?" Judy says mockingly.

"No…"

"I see…"

"What happened with you guys?" She huffs. "First Santana and Brittany and now even you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Whatever, I'll be in my bedroom…"

At six o'clock sharp Santana and Brittany arrives at the Fabray Residence.

"Hey bitch, ready to go?"

"Just stop S…"

"What?"

"So you're telling me, that your mother is downstairs ready to take us to the airport?"

Santana smirks.

"That's what I thought…"

"I'm so happy we're not leaving today!" Brittany says happily. "Are you giving a chance to Rachel?"

"No."

"But why you…"

"I just want to get rid of this whole situation once and for all… I don't know what's going on in Rachel's head but we can't be together…"

"Why not?" Brittany insists.

"Because that's the real life Britt…"

"She really loves you; you should have seen her in the wedding…"

"What for?" Quinn huffs irritated.

"She was…"

"Just stop, I don't want to know…" She turns to Santana. "Are you in this too? I thought you were my friend!"

Santana frowns angrily, her jaw clenched but she holds back her emotions.

"Why are you guys agreeing with all this? Tell me!"

"I just wanted to see you happy Quinn."

Brittany says guilty and Santana just watches, she knows Quinn is just in one of her tantrums. In fact this reminds her of the fight they had at nationals, in New York.

"I'm happy!" she shouts. "I don't need this, I don't need her! And I can't believe you guys, she has ignored us for six years and in six seconds she turns you guys against me?"

"Okay, are you hearing yourself? We're not against you…" Santana says upset.

"She didn't ignore us…" Brittany turns to leave. "I gotta go…"

"Where are you going? Are you going to see her" Quinn asks.

"Yes… oh no wait, I forgot…" She faces them again. "Quinn, San can I go see her?" She frowns. "Can we go to Blaine's birthday party, it will be fun? Oh no wait, Rachel is gonna be there… can I go to Rachel's wedding, you know it's nothing, it's just her wedding; Can we go celebrate with her, she just won a Tony…"

"You can't blame me… I was trying to move on…"

"Hey Britt, did you get really mad when Santana didn't want to assume that she loved you? You know, because of what society might say?" Brittany says sadly.

Santana narrows her eyes at Brittany.

"I never got mad at San… love is love but to love is tough; Sorry if I wanted us to be all friends again, and I would love to have her back even if she was still with Finn…" She looks at Santana. "San?"

They understand each other and therefore Brittany knows that Santana will stay. She is not upset with this; it's actually perfect this way. She winks at the brunette and leaves the bedroom.

"Now I'm the bad guy…" Quinn says grouchy.

"Not really…" Santana sits on the bed.

"What's the matter?"

"What you mean?"

"You're weird, you're not yelling at me…"

"I really missed her!" She shouts. "There, happy?"

"I didn't ask you to cut ties with her…"

"I didn't say that… it's my own fault anyway…"

"What you mean?"

"Look Quinn, I'm not regretting anything; I chose to be on your side, that's it… of course I was going to L.A. anyway because of Brittany; but the point is: I took your side…"

"I know…"

"When I encouraged you that night I did it because I truly believed she loved you too; I still believe it though, more than ever…"

"San…"

"Let me finish…" Santana raises one hand up. "I got mad at her and worried about you, but Quinn, people have their hearts broken every day… I know that your feelings were strong but… people move on and as you said, you moved on… You were heartbroken but Rachel was lost… she has been lost all this years; I used to throw my rage on everyone, especially on Finn…" She shrugs comically. "I used to curse and to insult everyone and yes, I was mean too… but Rachel would never do that… not with her friends…"

They look at each other.

"You think that article…"

"If I think it's true?"

"Yeah?"

"Kurt said that that Jason guy is kind of temperamental, but he also said to me that Rachel was very disturbed by the article and that he agreed that Blaine wasn't the best choice…"

"Rachel would never do that…"

"The Rachel you used to know wouldn't…"

"She…"

"Hey guys!" Puck bursts into the room. "So, are we going or what?"

Santana rolls her eyes. "Or what…"

"uh?"

"We're not going…" She answers.

"Why not?" He looks at Quinn.

"Rachel asked her to stay…"

"Oh…" His smirk spreads across his face.

"It's not what you're thinking…" The blonde states.

"Actually, it's exactly what you're thinking… Rachel finally decided to admit her feelings for Quinn…"

"What you're going to do?" Quinn ignores her friend.

"What you mean?"

"Well, we're not leaving today…"

"Oh, I'm staying of course… support for my hot Jew…"

Quinn exhales heavily. What a friends she has.

_Traitors…_

* * *

 

The next day she is awake early. It is just because she went to bed early; it isn't because she is eager about the day. After breakfast, she checks her phone, watches some TV and then starts reading a book.

She is almost finishing a chapter when she hears the doorbell ringing. She gasps and tosses the book away.

Not that she is eager or excited but she gets a little disappointed when she opens the door.

"Who are you?"

She asks the girl in front of her.

"Wow! You're Quinn Fabray…"

Quinn smiles a little.

"I believe so, and you?"

"I'm Mary; you probably don't remember me… I'm your neighbor…"

"Yes of course, you grew up…."

The girl giggles.

"Well I have a thing for you…"

"You do?" Quinn arches an eyebrow.

"Here…" The girl hands her an envelope.

"What's it?"

"You'll see; I have to go…"

"Okay…"

Mary walks away and Quinn immediately turns her attention toward the envelope. She recognizes Rachel's handwriting right away.

She gets inside and goes to her bedroom. She throws herself on her bed.

Quinn looks at the pink envelope one more time.

It is written:

**_Good morning!_ **

She opens it. There's a note and a notebook page. She reads the note first.

**_I was rummaging on my stuff and look what I found! I loved that day!_ **

Her eyes water and her heart tightens with the memory.

**_Flashback:_ **

_"This rain sucks!" Rachel huffs._

_"It's not that bad… we can find something to do here…"_

_"What?" Rachel pouts childlike._

_"A movie marathon maybe?"Quinn says happily._

_"That's nice, but you'll go back to New Haven tomorrow… I wanted to do something special with you…"_

_"Anything is special with you…" She swallows hard. "I mean…"_

_"You're just saying this…" Rachel says shyly. "You think I'm annoying…"_

_"That's not true!"_

_Rachel stares at her._

_"Not anymore…" She adds smiling._

_"Well, I'll never get tired of saying it, I'm really happy that you're my friend Quinn Fabray…"_

_They look at each other; Quinn nibbles her lip nervously._

_"I want to dance on the rain…" She looks at the window._

_Rachel stops staring at the blonde and looks at the window too._

_"What?" She smiles._

_"Someday, that is…"_

_"You…"_

_"I don't know, sometimes I think about things I want to do…"_

_"You mean like a bucket list?"_

_"Yeah…"_

_"What else?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"You said you want to dance in the rain, what else?"_

_"I don't know, I never wrote it…"_

_"Oh!" Rachel squeals. "Wait here!"_

_Moments later Rachel gets back with a notebook and a pen._

_"So, let's start!"_

_"What?"_

_"Your bucket list of course!"_

_She laughs amused._

_"Okay…"_

_"It'll have thirty items, and you must do them before you're thirty…"_

_"I'll try…"_

_And they start making a bucket list indeed._

**_Now:_ **

Quinn takes the notebook page and smiles at the sight of Rachel's handwriting. She starts reading every item.

**_Quinn's Bucket List:_ **

_1\. Make Beth love me._

_2\. Get into an Graduate from a Ivy League university_

_She smiles because Rachel was the one correcting her. She had momentarily forgotten that she was already in Yale._

_3\. Be in a movie_

_4\. Attending the Academy Awards_

_5\. Say at least once: "and the Oscars goes to…"_

_6\. Meet my favorite author_

_7\. Eat ice cream for every meal one day!_

_8\. Have a paint fight!_

_9\. Cuddle next to a campfire_

_10\. Become a vegetarian for a week… Just a week…_

_11\. French kiss on the top of the Eiffel tower_

_12\. Take all my best girlfriends on a weekend getaway at once_

**_"Am I included?"_ **

**_"Mmm… let me think…"_ **

**_"Quinn!"_ **

**_"Of course you are silly…"_ **

**_"So I'm your girlfriend?"_ **

**_"You said that yourself, remember?"_ **

_13\. Swim with dolphins_

_14\. Spaghetti kiss on Italy._

**_"Like the lady and the tramp?"_ **

**_"Yeah…"_ **

_15\. Wear crazy socks (Borrow Rachel's)_

**_"Hey!"_ **

**_"Sorry…You're writing it…"_ **

**_"Maybe I'll give you one of my socks…"_ **

_16\. Dance and/or kiss in the rain_

**_"Like notebook?"_ **

**_"Yeah… kind of…"_ **

_17\. Send a message in a bottle_

_18\. Write a book_

_19\. Take a self defense course_

_20\. Meet my favorite actor/artist_

_" **Who?"**_

**_"Claire Danes…"_ **

**_"Really?"_ **

**_"I really love Romeo and Juliet… I watched it when I was a kid and fell in love…"_ **

_21\. Get another tattoo_

_" **Yeah… a better one…"**_

**_"You don't like the Ryan Seacrest's tattoo?"_ **

**_"I'm not even answering this… and please, tell me you're going to take it off…"_ **

**_"If you want…"_ **

_22\. Drink a $1,000+ Bottle of Champagne_

_23\. Watch the top 100 Best Movies of all-time_

_24\. Give someone my autograph_

_" **I already did it! You'll love it!"**_

_25\. Have more than five hundred books_

_26\. Kiss someone at midnight on New Years._

_" **You never…"**_

**_"No… you?"_ **

**_"Well…"_ **

**_"Finn…"_ **

**_"Yes…"_ **

_27\. Stargazing with the love of my life…_

_28\. Sleep under the stars._

_29\. Marry the person I can tell every little thing to_

_30\. Be a good parent._

She sighs nostalgic. Why Rachel is doing this? Well it was a good day indeed.

**_Flashback:_ **

_"Who would tell you're a romantic person Fabray…"_

_"I just never found the right person, you know? To show this side of me…"_

_"You will…"_

_"Yeah…" She stares at the brunette._

_"Come on!"_

_Rachel stands up quickly._

_"uh?"_

_"Let's scribe one thing from this list…"_

_"What?"_

_"Isn't it obvious?" She points to the window._

_"Oh…" Her heart speeds up._

_"Let's dance in the rain!"_

_"Oh yeah… of course…"_

_"What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing, it's just that… are you sure? It's a little cold…"_

_Quinn tries to hide her disappointment._

_"I'm sure…"_

_Rachel stretches her arm._

_"Come on!"_

_"Okay…"She holds the brunette's hand._

_A few minutes later they are outside, in the rain._

_"Wow! It's cold!"_

_"I told you…" Quinn giggles._

_"So, I believe that you have to dance now…"_

_"Yeah… but now, I'm a little embarrassed… and there's no song…"_

_Rachel puts her hands on her hips and grimaces at the blonde. Then she starts dancing randomly for Quinn amusement._

_"Come on Quinn! Let's dance in the rain… better yet!"_

_She smirks._

_"Quinn?"_

_"What?" Quinn says smiling widely._

**_Let the storms clouds chase_ **

**_Everyone from the place_ **

**_Come on with the rain_ **

**_I've a smile on my face_ **

**_I'll walk down the lane_ **

**_With a happy refrain_ **

_Rachel stops and gestures to Quinn._

_"Singing, singing in the rain…"The blonde adds as Rachel takes her hand and they start dancing together._

**_Now:_ **

"Quinnie?"

"Yes, come in…"

Judy opens the door.

"Who was at the door?"

"Mary, you know? our neighbor…"

"Susan's daughter?"

Quinn nods.

"What did she want?"

"To give me this…" She shakes the envelope in the air.

"And what's this?"

"Something Rachel sent to me…"

"Oh… It's a good thing?"

"Yeah…"

* * *

 

_Last night…_

"I'm a little lost here… I don't know what to do!" Rachel shouts frustrated.

"You should sing to her…" Brittany says calmly.

"Normally this would work but I don't think this is the case now…"

"You did a lot of thing for her Rachel, but you never sang to her…"

"But Britt, you said it is a hopeless cause… she won't give in that easily…"

"She won't…"

They both look at Santana as she walks in Rachel's bedroom.

"Where's Kurt?"

"He and Blaine went home a few minutes ago…"

"Well, I think you should do the same…" Santana gets close to Brittany and kisses her on the lips; Rachel smiles at the sight.

"Tempting… but Rachel is kind of lost; she doesn't know what do…"

"Oh my God!" Rachel shouts suddenly. "Look what I found!"

"What's it?"

"It's something Quinn and I did years ago…"

"Rachel?"

"Yes?"

"I believe you when you said you love her and you want to woo her and all that sappy thing… but I really need you to tell me, I need you to promise that you're serious; that you're not going to run after Finn…"

"I won't… I would show you the divorce papers but they aren't ready… you can call my lawyer though…"

"No… just don't hurt her okay?"

"I think I'm in more dangerous now…"

After a lot of thinking she finally had an idea.

"Hey guys, do you think you can help me…"

Right after lunch the doorbell is ringing again.

"I'll get it!"

She shouts to her mother as she walks toward the front door.

"Hi!"

This time is a teenage girl who somehow reminds Quinn of Santana; she is with three others teenagers.

"Wow! You're really beautiful…"

"And you are?"

"Uh, my name is Amanda and these are my friends…" They all smile at Quinn. "We are in glee club together, like you… and we are supposed to do this…"

She nods to her friends, the boy starts playing the guitar and Amanda starts singing.

"I can't believe it…" Quinn smiles as she recognizes the song.

_Watching every motion_

_In my foolish lover's game_

_On this endless ocean_

_Finally lovers know no shame_

_Turning and returning to some secret lace inside_

_Watching in slow motion_

_As you turn around and say_

_Take my breath away…_

"And this is for you…"

One of the girls gives Quinn a bouquet of red roses.

_Take my breath away_

_Watching I keep waiting_

_Still anticipating love_

_Never hesitating_

_To become the fated loves_

_Turning and returning_

_To some secret place inside_

Watching in slow motion

_As you turn around and say_

_My love_

_Take my breath away_

_Take my breath away_

**_"The one accomplishment that I'm gonna be so proud of is that I found a way to be your friend…"_ **

She remembers that day as Amanda keeps singing.

**_Through the hourglass I saw you_ **

**_In time you slipped away_ **

**_When the mirror crashed I called you_ **

**_And turned to hear you say_ **

**_If only for today_ **

**_I am unafraid_ **

**_Take my breath away_ **

**_Take my breath away_ **

She smells the roses and takes the note.

There is a note, of course.

_**Watching every motion** _

_**In this foolish lover's game** _

_**Haunted by the notion** _

_**Somewhere there's a love in flames** _

_**Turning and returning** _

_**To some secret place inside** _

_**Watching in slow motion** _

_**As you turn my way and say** _

And in fact, Amanda sings this part just as good as Santana did.

_Take my breath away_

_Take my breath away_ …

"I hope you enjoyed…" Amanda says shyly. "We're going now…"

"I loved it… thank you guys..."

"Could we take a picture?" The boy asks hopeful.

"Yes of course…"

They take the picture animatedly and then they leave.

Quinn gets in the house.

"What was that?"

Judy asks her.

"I don't know exactly… can you put them in the water?"

"Sure honey…"

Quinn hands the bouquet to her mother and then she starts reading the note as she walks toward the living room. The note has a poem:

**_Your beauty takes my breath away_ **

**_Your voice is so sweet no matter what you say_ **

**_Your beautiful face glistens and shines_ **

**_Your beauty makes me wish that you were mine_ **

**_Yes, you're the prettiest girl I've ever met_ **

**_But you're also a lot more than that_ **

_This was lame I know…_

_But hey! I'm Rachel Berry!_

_Yes, I am Rachel Berry…_

_You said people change; I changed, being away from you made me different… I became this selfish and insensitive person…_

_But I woke up!_

_And I am me again! I'm Rachel Berry; I love lame and corny things! I love flowers, I love serenades, I love being bossy and diva and I love being on the stage…_

_But first and foremost…_

_I love you Quinn Fabray!_

_With all my heart…_

When she finishes reading her face is wet with her tears. She takes a deep breath.

"Are you okay Quinnie?"

"Yes… I think…"

She can't explain what she is feeling; actually, she doesn't know what she is feeling.

_Oh God…_

* * *

 

In the early evening, Santana calls her.

"Hello…"

"Hey, listen, you don't have to do anything but Rachel wants me to pick you up… so…"

Quinn knows that the right thing to do would be to refuse. And she wants to refuse.

"Okay… you can pick me up…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…"

I'm just curious…

Half an hour later Santana arrives.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Here… this is for you…" Santana rolls her eyes.

"A corsage?" Quinn arches an eyebrow.

"Go figure… She said it will make sense…"

She looks more carefully at the wrist corsage. It is like the one she used on junior prom. A gardenia with a light green ribbon wrapped on it. Why Rachel would give her this one?

"Can we go?" Santana asks.

"Yes…"

When they get at McKinley high, Quinn frowns at her friend.

"Are we breaking into our old school?"

"Sort of… Don't worry, we arranged everything…"

"That's just great…"

"Don't look at me; you're the one who fell in love with Rachel Berry…"

"I did…" She giggles.

They get out of the car and walk toward the building. Brittany is already inside.

"Hey guys…" She says happily. "Go see her…" She says to Quinn.

"Where exactly?"

Brittany smiles widely.

"Oh yeah I forgot… just a second…" She takes her phone and Quinn watches as she talks on the device. "She is here already… okay…" She hangs up.

"Quinn?"

They hear Rachel's voice at the speaker.

"You have to meet me in a very special place to us… you know where is it right? I mean, is it the bathroom where you slapped me? We do like bathrooms uh? You gave me the metro pass there… and you showed me your acceptance letter there too… but it isn't the bathroom… it could be the hallway… oh my God… how many fights… "

She giggles.

"But no… maybe my locker? It was where I told Finn which corsage he should buy to you… yeah, just like this one you're using now… did you know that gardenias mean secret love?"

Quinn looks at her wrist. She can't believe it. She starts walking; she knows pretty well where Rachel is.

"Or if you want to get it right then there's only one place you should go…"

But when she gets in the auditorium Rachel is not there. She looks around and nothing, except for a sheet on the piano which draws her eyes right away. On top of it has a note

_Play it…_

She looks around again, then she sits on the bench.

Quinn knows the song so she doesn't really need the sheet. She runs her fingers on the ivory and starts playing the intro.

_Notice me…_

And then in perfect synch she hears Rachel's powerful voice and somehow it causes chills down her spine. The Broadway star is in the middle of the stage now.

_Take my hand_

_Why are we_

_Strangers when_

_Our love is strong_

_Why carry on without me?_

Quinn looks at her. She is not exactly dressed like teenage Rachel. But there is something about the brunette right now that makes Quinn remember that Rachel.

_Everytime I try to fly_

_I fall without my wings_

_I feel so small_

_I guess I need you, baby_

_And everytime I see you in my dreams_

_I see your face_

_It's haunting me_

_I guess I need you, baby_

Rachel gets closer and now she is with her hand on the piano, but Quinn keeps her eyes on the keys.

_I make believe_

_That you are here_

_It's the only way_

_I see clear_

_What have I done?_

_You seem to move on easy_

She stares at the blonde fondly.

_Everytime I try to fly_

_I fall without my wings_

_I feel so small_

_I guess I need you, baby_

_And everytime I see you in my dreams_

_I see your face_

_You're haunting me_

_I guess I need you, baby_

Quinn finally looks up and she can see the tears on Rachel's face.

With all her voice, with all her heart Rachel sings the next part.

_I may have made it rain_

_Please forgive me_

_My weakness caused you pain_

_And this song's my sorry_

She smiles weakly and looks at the blonde amazed with her every movement.

_Uuuh_

Now it is her turn to cry.

In theory she knows she can stop playing any time but she keeps playing as Rachel's voice enfolds her.

_At night I pray_

_That soon your face_

_Will fade away_

Somehow in this brief moment nothing matters but Rachel and her.

_And everytime I try to fly_

_I fall without my wings_

_I feel so small_

_I guess I need you, baby_

_And everytime I see you in my dreams_

_I see your face_

_You're haunting me_

_I guess I need you, baby_

When the song ends they stare at each other for a moment.

"Look into my eyes and tell me you don't love…" Rachel breaks the silence.

"Rach…"

"You can't, just like I couldn't back then… Quinn I know I was a coward and I broke your heart and I can't erase it with these things, with songs and roses and… I know…"

Rachel likes to talk, that's a fact so as she started her rambling she doesn't notice that Quinn is devastated, she is torn.

"But I just…" Rachel finally looks at her.

"I'm sorry… I can't…" She says tearful.

"Tell me you don't love me…"

"I'm engaged…"

"What?" Rachel gets pale. "Since when?"

"Last week…"

"Thomas…"She whispers, Rachel read something about their relationship.

"Yes…"

"I didn't know you guys…" She whispers sadly.

"I have to go…"

"So, that's it? You're going to marry him? Do you love him? He is the person you can tell every little thing to?"

The honest answer would be no. But she doesn't answer at all.

"Good bye Rachel…"

Quinn walks away as Rachel sits on the bench and cries her heart out.


	11. Give love another life

_Santana: like this_

**_Mercedes: like this_ **

* * *

 

**New York (2018)**

A beautiful autumn day in New York; it is not too cold yet, it's early October. The sky is cloudless and the blue contrasts with the shades of the leaves.

She walks serenely side by side with her beautiful girlfriend. This is the first time she comes to New York after that night. There were times she questioned herself; should she have walked away? Wasn't their friendship more important than anything else? But on the other hand, it is difficult to maintain a long distance friendship even when both parts are committed to this task;

Why did she let them break apart?

It was not because of the rejection, it wasn't because of her broken heart, it wasn't due to any kind of resentment; no, she pulled away for the simple fact that she, Quinn Fabray couldn't bear having Rachel Berry around and not hold her in her arms, not as friend, not as a best friend but as the girl of her dreams. It was a selfish act, now that she thinks about it.

Maybe they can start over now?

Quinn looks at her girlfriend and smiles; maybe this is the best time to start over.

"What are you thinking baby?"

"Hm?"

"You're very quiet since we left the hotel…"

"I was just thinking… what a beautiful day uh?"

"Yeah… but you…"

Quinn's phone starts ringing.

"What?" She picks up the phone.

_"Where are you?"_

"I'm almost there S…" She sighs.

_"Hey I was just checking…"_

A few minutes of walking and they get in Kurt and Blaine's apartment.

"Quinn!"

Blaine welcomes his friend with a big smile on his face. They immediately jump into each other's arms.

When they're already inside, Quinn introduces her girlfriend.

"Emily this is Blaine, Blaine this is Emily my girlfriend…"

He looks at the woman in question.

"Hi…" He kisses her cheek. "It's a pleasure to meet you…"

"Where's Kurt?"

Quinn questions him as Brittany gets close to hug Emily.

"Hi Em…"

"Hi Brittany… Hi Santana…"

"Hi..." Santana is a little less excited.

"He'll be here any minute… I'm grounded, I had fever all nigh…" He pouts. "But come on, take a seat girls…" Blaine answers.

Only several minutes later he noticed that Kurt was delayed beyond the expected.

"I think I'm gonna call him, he is…"

But before he does it, they hear the murmur coming from behind the front door. As the door opens the voices get more discernible.

"Kurt I can stay at my place…"

"Are you still talking about this? No, you will be here where I can take care of you…" He huffs. "Blaine!" Kurt shouts. "Blaine, come help me here…"

Blaine stands up and goes right away.

"What happened?" Blaine says as soon as he approaches the pair.

"What's going on?" Santana follows him.

"Santana!" Kurt shouts happily.

He gets close to her and hugs his friend, momentarily forgetting Rachel's injured foot.

"Kurt! My foot!"

"Sorry…"

"What's wrong with your foot?" Quinn approaches them as soon as she hears Rachel's scream.

"Quinn?" Rachel smiles weakly.

"Hi guys!" Brittany says happily.

It is almost comically but as they start greeting each other they forget that Rachel is injured.

"Guys, I really need to sit…"

She starts moving toward the couch and Quinn wraps her arms around her right away.

"What happened?" She asks as she tries her best to keep indifferent at Rachel's closeness.

"I rolled my ankle…"

"We were in the hospital…" Kurt adds.

"You have to put your foot up…" Quinn says as she helps Rachel to get on the couch.

"It'd be good to put pillows to get your foot up higher…" Emily says sympathetically.

"Do I know you?" Rachel smiles pleased.

"No, I believe we haven't been introduced yet…"

"Rachel this Emily, Emily this is Rachel…" Quinn says curtly.

Emily smiles and offers her hand to Rachel.

"Hi, I'm Quinn's girlfriend…" She adds playfully.

Rachel shrugs slightly but smiles, her fake smile though. They shake hands.

"Nice to meet you…" Rachel says politely.

Santana and Brittany look at each other.

"Here…"

Kurt settles the pillows under her foot. Rachel is wearing an elastic bandage to contain the swilling.

"I'll take the ice…" Kurt kisses her forehead and goes to the kitchen.

"I'll help you… do you need something else Rach?" Blaine asks caring.

"No, I'm fine thank you Blaine…"

"What were you doing Berry?" Santana asks.

"Rehearsals… but thank God it's not broken…"

"That choreography it's too complicated…" Kurt says from the kitchen.

"Dance is a serious thing…" Brittany says proudly.

"It's my fault I was distracted, but I…"

Her phone starts ringing.

"Hold on guys…" She picks up the phone. "Hi dad… I'm fine… I'm not alone, I'm with Kurt…dad I'm okay… dad, dad… dad let me talk to daddy…"

She sighs frustrated.

"Hi daddy, I'm fine, could you tell dad? Okay… love you too; I love you both… okay by daddy…" She hangs up.

"You have two dads?" Emily asks intrigued.

"Yes…"

"They are…"

"Married? Yes…"

"That's nice… you know, I have this uncle that thinks we can't have kids that they will become gay too…" She rolls her eyes. "You're not gay are you?" Emily teases her.

"Not that I know…"

"You don't know a lot of things Berry…" Santana says testy.

"What you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean…"

"So Quinn, how you guys met each other?" Kurt says while walking toward Rachel.

"It's a funny story actually…" The blonde smiles.

"Yeah… it took me a long time to make her notice me…"

"I know the feeling…" Rachel mumbles. "Ouch!" She whines as Kurt puts the ice on her ankle.

"You do?"

Emily frowns playfully.

"Yeah, I think she only started talking to me when Finn…"

She stops in mid-sentence.

"You mean when you started hitting on my boyfriend?" Quinn says sharply.

"You didn't seem to be too concerned about it ... it wasn't you who sent Kurt to help me with my clothes that time?"

"Okay… this is getting…"

"And you liked the attention… didn't you?" Quinn ignores Kurt's intervention.

"Not liked that, no…I chose to keep my clothes right?"

"Your clothes were hideous…" Santana interrupts them.

"At least I was authentic; I wasn't trying to impress anyone…" She looks at Quinn implying.

"I wasn't trying to impress anyone…"

Rachel chuckles sarcastically. Emily gazes her, she is a little confused.

"Okay, I'll be nice and ignore the sophomore year… so you're telling me that the pink hair wasn't you trying to get attention?"

They stare at each other sorely.

"Enough you two; just grow up…"

Santana huffs irritated. So the frenemy interaction is back again?

"You of all people should know the reason behind the pink hair…"

"You just wanted attention?"

"I'm not Rachel berry…"

"See? What's the point?" She exhales heavily. "You'll always see me as the girl who used to fight for solos every week, the girl who dressed weird, the girl who just wants to call attention… "

Rachel bursts out two years of repressed feelings. Only she says the wrong words. She actually wanted to say: if you loved me as you said why did you give up so easily?

"Sometimes that's what you are… Kurt, Blaine; Emily and I are leaving… she needs to rest she has a busy day tomorrow…"

She offers her hand to her girlfriend and although she didn't notice that sight displeases Rachel even more.

"It was nice to meet you guys…"

Quinn couldn't hear but Rachel's heart is screaming.

"I'm going to see you again? Maybe in another two years…" She says resentful.

"I didn't see you visiting me…"

"I was busy…"

The blonde sighs.

"Bye guys," She hugs Kurt and Blaine. "See you later girls… and Rach, take care of this ankle…"

A few months later…

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, don't worry… they are fine, and they really want to meet you…"

"I know but it's a wedding…"

"So?"

Emily nestles on her chest. They are lying on bed.

"I don't know…"

"You do know that it's my sister's wedding right? it's not ours…"

"You don't tell me…" She teases.

"Are you mocking me?" Emily says playfully.

They giggle and Quinn kisses her forehead.

"Do you think about it?"

"What?" Quinn frowns.

"We getting married…"

"Sure…"

"That's not very convincing…"

Quinn smiles dreamy.

"You know… when I was younger, a teenager, I used to think about it a lot… I wanted the perfect wedding; it should be in the same church mom and dad got married… I would wear a beautiful white dress, proud to have kept my virginity of course…" She nibbles her lip. "My dad would take me to the altar where my perfect future husband would be waiting for me… for a long time I remained convinced that that was my fate… but…"

Quinn smiles with the memories.

"Being part of glee or better yet, being part of that family made me see that I was much more than I thought I was…"

_She made me see I was much more than I thought I was…_

She then remembers Rachel's smile when she showed her Yale letter and how the brunette was so truly happy for her.

"It's not that I don't want it… I just see it differently now…"

"And how you see it?"

"Well… first of all no dad walking me to the altar…"

Emily giggles at that.

"And…"

As she starts her description, the fantasy begins.

"Hm… let me see…no big wedding… I know you like lame and corny things, and attention… but I don't want anything too big… B and San will be our maids of honor of course; I think… it must be in Hawaii at sunset, and just few a guests, the people we care the most… And I want Mercedes to sing and no, you can't sing, you need to speak your vows… because I love when you're rambling…"

Yes, she is fantasying about Rachel. The sunset, their friends and Rachel's beautiful smile. Beth holding the rings and Santana making jokes. She even can see Puck's smirk as the words - and now you may kiss your bride - are said.

"Well I'm definitively not gonna sing…"

Quinn gets back to reality.

"Uh… yeah… but this is future stuff…"

"Well, I hope so…" Emily says hopeful.

* * *

 

_"Good bye Rachel…"_

**Lima, December 2022.**

Did she just reject Rachel?

"Hey what's up?" Santana asks as she walks out of the auditorium.

"Can you take me home?"

Brittany shrugs disappointed, Santana nods and she goes to Rachel.

"Sure…"

They walk silently toward the car.

"Are you okay?" the brunette asks when they get inside the car.

"I'm engaged…"

Santana opens her mouth widely and then she closes and then she opens again. She honestly doesn't know what to say first.

"You're what?!" She finally says.

"Engaged…"

"You're fucking kidding me?" She laughs. "Wait, you're serious?"

The blonde nods.

"Let me get this right… you broke up with Emily because she wanted a commitment and you said it was too soon."

Suddenly uncomfortable, Quinn fidgets on the seat.

"You guys were together for two years… but now you're engaged? You're dating him for less than five months!"

"I…"

"Don't even say you're madly in love with him…" She huffs angrily. "I don't get you… you… sometimes I look at you and I see an amazing and confident woman but then you do things like that; you remember when you asked me to help you to change the votes for prom queen? I got so proud of you… you did something so special, so selfless… you grew up! You had mature, more than any of us; this was what I thought at that time… and then what? You went to Yale and started dating that stupid professor!"

"Can we just go?" She says annoyed.

"You…"She sighs. "Okay…"

Santana took her home and then she headed to Rachel's. The red eyed brunette is with her head on Brittany's lap while the blonde strokes her hair.

"Hey…"

"Hey…"

"What happened?"

Rachel sits up.

"She is engaged? And you guys didn't tell me?"

"I told you Rach; I didn't know…" Brittany says sadly.

"Yeah, she didn't tell us…"

They let the silence embrace them for a while.

Then Rachel speaks.

"I read something about them but I thought it was nothing… Okay I'm not judging her or anything but I really thought she was gay…"

"Gayer than me sometimes…" Santana smirks. "But she is Quinn; sometimes she is such a baby…"

"He is cute…" Brittany says out of the blue.

"Who?"

"Thomas… he is very cute… sometimes…" She starts thinking.

"What?" Rachel asks curious.

"I think that… he is just like you…"

"Me?"

"Yes…"

Santana frowns, thinking over what Brittany just said.

"You actually have a point B… I think that's why I can't talk with him for more than thirty seconds…" She teases.

"Hey!" Rachel complains.

"Well, I think he is very like you…"

"Do you guys think she is serious about this?"

"I don't even know if they have sex…"

"San…"

"What? It's true…"

"Can we not talk about Quinn having sex with anyone else other than me?"

"Whatever… just keep your scurrilous fantasies for yourself…"

"It wasn't fantasies…" She mumbles.

"Knock, knock…" Kurt and Blaine appear on the doorway. "We came as fast as we could…" he pouts.

"Yeah…" Blaine says sadly.

"Hi guys…"

"What are you going to do?" The hair gel man says.

"I still don't know…"

"What you mean? You're coming to New York with us right?" Kurt asks concerned.

"No… I'll stay here…"

"Did you dads cancel the cruise?"

"No… they're still going tomorrow…"

"Are you gonna be here alone? Rachel you can't…"

"Yeah, it's too sad…" Brittany adds.

"Well, Finn is here too…"

They all open their mouths widely. Rachel draws her lips into her mouth trying to hold back her grin.

"You guys should see your faces right now…" She laughs.

"That's actually not funny…" Kurt complains.

"And pretty dangerous," Santana narrows her eyes at her.

"I was just kidding guys…"

"Why don't you wanna come with us?" Blaine questions her.

"It's actually funny but I don't want to come back to New York… and I'm not in the mood for parties…"

"What about… you know, Quinn?" Kurt asks.

"Well, she is engaged; I can't force her, but I still have something to say to her…"

* * *

 

"Engaged?"

"Yes…"

"And you're just telling me now?"

Judy is indignant and upset. Sometimes her daughter is so frustrating. They're at the airport; Santana and Brittany are talking to Mrs. Lopez as Puck is on the phone.

"Does this have something to do with Rachel?"

"No… why?"

"I don't know, … I know she is married but then she appears here and sends you flowers and cards… and now you're telling me you're engaged…"

"Rachel is getting divorced…"

"Oh… well, that's…"

"She said she loves me and that she wants me…"

Judy smiles happily.

"Did she? Quinn this is something you've always wanted, right? Please tell me you're not going to marry Thomas; as much as I like him I know he is not the one for you…"

"How do you know?"

"Quinn…"

"Mom…

"Look I understand why you started dating him, he is cute but no… I know you don't love him…"

"He would never hurt me…"

The older Fabray looks at her daughter with affection in her eyes.

"You never got over her, right?"

"What you're talking about?"

"You once told me that there wasn't any other girl for you… none of the girls you dated were good enough… how could they be? They weren't Rachel…"

"This is…"

"You know, I never understood why you broke up with Emily," Judy cuts her. "She is such a lovely girl and she loved you so much but there was just only one for you right? This is you telling your heart that it'll always be that way…"

"This is all nonsense… besides, I'm engaged it's not like we're already married…"

"Quinn?"

They hear Rachel's voice. Judy smiles at her and the Broadway star gets closer.

"Hi Judy…"

"Hi Rachel…"

Rachel hugs the older woman and Judy hugs her back tight, it is like she used to do and Rachel feels like home.

"I will be very quick, I promise…" she says to Quinn.

"I'm going to talk to Maribel and the girls…"

They nod and look as Judy approaches the three other women.

"You're not going to New York?"

"No…"

"You're staying here? Alone?"

"Yeah… I think I need time to myself… I…"

"Rach… look I'm sorry for last night, but I can't,"

"Don't worry I'm not here to sing or recite poems," She teases.

Quinn licks her own lips.

"Okay…"

Rachel looks around and tugs her hair behind her ear.

"I don't know if you know but I was going to see you in L.A after that night… one month after that night precisely; I even bought a ticket…"

The blonde narrows her eyes, she gets curious.

"Why you didn't go?"

"Finn…"

"Why? What did he do?"

"When I said I was going to see you I meant I was going to be with you…"

Quinn swallows and run her fingers through her hair.

"But he showed up at the airport and I chickened; I chose the easiest way…"

Rachel sighs gloomily and Quinn stares at her emotionless.

"But I'm not here because of this…" She tries to get lively.

"No?"

"No, this is past now… I'm here because I failed as a friend; I'm here to ask for forgiveness… So, can you forgive me?"

"I failed too Rach…"

Rachel takes her hand and squeezes it. "Please?"

"But yes, I forgive you…"

The actress smiles a truly and beautiful smile; Rachel slides her hand on the blonde's waist and pulls her close into a not at all just friend's hug. Sometimes she forgets Quinn is not her wife.

Meanwhile Santana watches them from afar, thinking that it was because of hugs like those she started suspecting that there was more than just friendship between them.

"I don't want to live without you anymore and I'm happy if you're happy… I'd like us to be friends again; maybe I can visit you in L.A…"

The blonde nods still bewildered with the hug.

"Quinn?"

Santana calls her.

"I have to go…" Quinn says not so sure.

"Okay…"

Brittany approaches them too.

"Bye Rach…" She says a little sad. "Happy new year since we're not gonna see each other…"

"Happy new year B…" She hugs the tall blonde.

She turns to Santana and then they stare at each other for a moment.

"Just hug me already…" Santana rolls her eyes.

Rachel smiles her big smile and embraces the Latina.

"I know that you only care about your blondie but you can visit us one of these days…"

"My intention, really… don't worry…"

"Good…"

"Now come here!"

Puck hugs her tight.

"Are you sure you don't wanna come, you know Puck's New Year's Eve party is epic…"

"Maybe next year Puck… I'm really not into parties right now…"

"Okay…" he pouts.

"Bye guys…"

Three adamant eyes looking at her; she rolls her eyes playfully and turns to Rachel.

"Bye, see you then?"

Rachel nods.

* * *

 

She really didn't manage to rest; she got uneasy throughout the flight. As if something was not right. It didn't get better when they landed in L.A.

"Are you okay?" Santana asks as they exit the airport.

"Yes… just wanna go home…"

The only thing she wanted to do when she got home was to go to bed and stay there the rest of the day. And in fact it was morning when she woke up with the buzz of her phone.

She looks at the screen and she sees that she has a lot of missed calls.

She calls her mother promptly.

"Hello…"

"Quinnie! Why didn't you answer my calls?"

"Sorry, I came to bed as soon as I arrived… I just checked my phone now…"

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, perfect… "

"Okay, I'll call you later then… bye honey…"

"Bye mom…"

She hangs up the phone and exhales soundly; stretching her arms she looks at her nightstand. She then opens the drawer and takes the black ring box.

Quinn stares at the box for a while and then she finally opens it. She takes the ring and starts slipping it on her ring finger. But she stops halfway.

Santana introduced them. He got in love as soon as he put his eyes on her, on his words. With her it definitely wasn't like that, but she couldn't deny that there was something about him that captivated her, the intensity of his smile and his lovely brown eyes.

Thomas is third one years old but as all his friends usually say he has a soul of a boy. He is a singer and despite his big contract, he likes having a more ordinary lifestyle. Sometimes he gets annoyed with the paparazzi that once and while follows her.

She looks at the ring one more time and places it into the box. A simple gesture that however is full of meaning.

* * *

 

**December 29.**

She is sitting alone on her favorite restaurant, Thomas was also out of town and he gets home today. In the table in front of her there is a little girl. She is trying to convince her mother that she can eat alone.

"She is cute uh?"

"What?"

Quinn looks at her waiter.

"Toni… that's her name…" he points to the little girl.

"Oh…"

The "trouble" man (only he is much more elegant and neat) smiles at her.

"Yes, she is… uh? You said Toni?"

He smirks. "Yes, Antoinette… she reminds me of a friend of mine daughter…" he smiles. "That girl is a thing… she likes to sing, but if you ask her what she likes to do the most she will smile her biggest smile and will say: jump! She loves to jump…"

She smiles looking at nothing in particular.

"But, I'm disturbing you… you made your choice?"

"No, you're not; I'm fine…" She says to the black man and then she looks at the little brunette girl in front of her.

She then waves to the girl who waves back.

After she finish eating and is ready to leave the place, as she walks near the table she decides to say good bye.

"Bye… Toni, right?"

The little girl's mother smiles at her. "Her name?" Quinn nods. "No… say your name honey…"

"Jessica…" The girl says happily.

"Jessica, what a beautiful name… bye Jessica…"

"Bye…"

Before she left Quinn looks around but he is nowhere near.

_He must be mistaken._

* * *

 

Thomas arrived at afternoon. She was waiting for him on the living room's couch.

"Hey there! Miss me? Guess what? I just had this amazing idea for my next album, I'm telling you baby it's sheer brilliance… My mom sent you a kiss, my sister too; how was Christmas by the way? You were a little strange on the phone… I hope it was good, did Beth like my gift?"

She knows she has to stop him otherwise he will ramble forever.

"Baby?"

"Yes?"

He kisses her and sits on the couch too.

"What?"

"We need to talk…"

He looks at the ring box on the coffee table and then to her finger. He sighs disappointed.

"You're not wearing the ring…"

"I'm not…"

"Why?"

"Thomas, although I really care about you and I think you're a wonderful guy, I am not in love with you…"

"I know but…"

"I should've been honest with you from the beginning… but when you proposed I got flattered… and… you were so happy…"

"Okay, I was really eager to marry but I think I can wait…"

"That's the point I don't want you to wait…"

She runs her fingers through his hair.

"I've been numb… for years actually, I just locked my heart afraid of feel again… but you came along with your vivacity and your love and you captivated me, and although most of the time I'm entirely gay, I've never opposed dating man… I did it before… but, I was accommodated in this relationship and maybe if it wasn't your proposal I wouldn't think about it, the truth is that I can't be with you… I'm sorry…"

"This really sucks…" he pouts playfully. "You know I love you, right?"

"You love a piece of me Thomas… you don't know me entirely; you couldn't…"

"Why not?"

"My closest friends took ages to know me completely… you just know me for less than a year, and we're together for only five months…"

"I opened up to you…"

"I know, cause that's the way you are… but I'm… I'm very…"

"Reserved…"

"Yeah…"

"See? I know you enough to know that…"

She giggles.

"Here, take it… I don't have any doubt that you're going to find the right person; and you'll need this…" she hands him the box.

"So you're breaking up with me?"

She nibbles her lip. "Yes… think on the good side, you're single and free… New Year 's Eve is right there… drinks and chicks?"

"Yes for the drinks… but I would swap all the chicks in the world just for you…"

She stares at his endearing brown eyes and kisses him fondly.

"I hope this woman appears soon, you know, I'm Jewish and this was pretty expensive…"

"Yes you are…" Her eyes open widely.

Great!

"What?"

"I just realized… you… nothing, never mind…"

_Oh my God! I really never got over her…_

* * *

 

**December 30.**

"Cheers to Bella fuckers!"

Santana yells as she raises her glass up.

"Yes, cheers to me!"

"Hey girls… starting without me?"

"Quinn!"

"Hi cedes!"

They hug each other.

"How was Christmas?" She smirks. "How is Rachel?"

"They told you?"

Quinn rolls her eyes and Mercedes giggles as Brittany nibbles her lip guiltily.

"Way to dump Berry… I thought you loved her…" Mercedes teases.

"So do I…"

"Hi Em…"

Emily gets close and kisses her cheek.

"Didn't you say her name in our bed?"

Quinn cheeks turn red.

"Emily!" she reprimands her ex girlfriend.

The brunette woman laughs.

"You're such an ass Quinn…"

"Are you complaining?"

"Not really, now I have her…" Isabella kisses her girlfriend.

"Enough with the sappy! Let's drink!"

"It's not fair, it was an accident…"

**Flashback:**

_"Hey baby, I'm home!"_

_"Hey…"_

_"What's the matter beautiful?"_

_Emily jumps onto bed to get close to Quinn._

_"Just had this awful day…"_

_"Tell me…"_

_"It's really nothing; this guy told me I wasn't good enough for a part…"_

_"Baby this happens… I mean, it's the way things are in this business…"_

_"yeah…"_

_She nods as a memory takes over her mind. And she remembers like it was yesterday..._

**"What?! Take your coat…"**

**"Why?"**

**"We're going to see this asshole of course! Who he thinks he is to say you're not good enough!" Rachel says furious, her veins popping out her neck.**

**"Rachel is just a stupid college play… let's enjoy our day, you just arrived…"**

**"You're really don't know me at all if you think I'm going to-"**

**"I know you… and thanks for taking care of me…"**

**"I'll always take care of you…"**

**"I'm happy for this… but now I want to take you to dinner...okay? let's not worry about anything else…"**

**"Okay… but Quinn,"**

**"Yeah?"**

**"You're special and amazing, never doubt it…"**

_"Quinn?"_

_"Yes?" She gets back to reality._

_"Where did you just go?"Emily asks._

_"Nowhere…"_

_"Don't be like this…" She kisses her softly. "I know how to make you feel better…"_

_"You do?_

_"Mmhm…"_

Normally it would be true but Quinn's mind is somewhere else.

**_Okay… stop thinking about Rachel, Quinn…_ **

_Emily settles between her legs._

_"Are you okay?" Emily looks up._

_"Yes…"_

**_Come on Quinn you're expert at avoiding sex…_ **

**_What should I do?_ **

_Emily dives in._

_**Anything!** _

**_It's just sex anyway… just focus and get rid of it!_ **

_Her girlfriend starts sucking her._

**_Okay focus…_ **

_There's something that never fails to get her there. It's not really a fantasy; it really happened, well, at least partly._

_She was lying on bed and Rachel was in the shower. She was awake but she pretended to be sleeping; she wanted to play a prank on the brunette. But as Rachel walked in the bedroom she couldn't resist but spy a little._

_Rachel was with her back turned to Quinn and as she knew the blonde was sleeping she let the towel fell down._

_Quinn stopped breathing for a moment completely entranced by Rachel's sexy frame._

_It's when the fantasy started, because in the fantasy she stood up and walked toward the brunette. She pressed their bodies together and started planting kisses on Rachel's neck as she cupped both breast and squeezed them._

_"Oh yeah… oh Rachel you feel so good… I'm coming for you…"She whispers._

_For a moment she forgot she wasn't masturbating. Except that she actually is; Emily stopped her motions right after she heard Quinn moaning Rachel's name._

_Quinn doesn't care, not at the moment, she desperately needs to come. Her eyes are close as she keeps Rachel in her thoughts and her finger on her clit._

_"I'm almost there baby… oh Rachel!" She moans as she comes and then she regrets; she sits up and tries to hold her girlfriend._

_"Was it good for you?"_

_"It's not what you're thinking…"_

_Emily gets out of bed and leaves the bedroom._

_"Em!"_

**Now:**

"Yeah… right Quinn…" Santana snorts annoyed.

"San, stop teasing her…" Brittany reprimands her calmly.

"It was unconscious…"

"Hey… don't worry… no hard feelings…" Emily smiles at her.

They actually didn't break up right after that, but it did help a lot. Emily could understand why Quinn didn't want a commitment.

"Where's that fiancé of yours…" Santana gets closer to her.

"Actually, I broke up with him…" She shrugs.

"Well…"

"Oh please, don't pretend you're not happy…"

"I'm not happy, happy, because he is a nice guy but I'm happy that now you are gonna be with Rachel…" Brittany says happily.

"Who said that?" Quinn frowns.

"Oh Lord! Give me strength!" Santana looks up dramatically.

"Hey bitches! It's my birthday! And I want you to sing to me San!"

Isabella approaches them.

"Okay…"

Santana rolls her eyes.

"I'm going to film baby…" Brittany shouts.

After the first song, Santana called Mercedes to join her.

"Attention everyone… as you noticed you guys will have the honor to have two divas singing to you tonight…"

All their friends cheer them.

"So, Mercedes and I would like to dedicate this song to two of our best friends in the world… ready to be fabulous Mercedes?"

"Born ready baby…"

Rachel was watching Tv when she heard her phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Rach… I'll put you on video chat… hold on…"

"Why?"

"Santana is gonna sing to you…"

"You guys are drunk, aren't you?"

"Not yet…"

Rachel giggles.

"Okay…"

She can see Santana and Mercedes and that makes her melt. And then they start singing.

 

_I feel weak, we've been here before_

_Cause I feel we keep going back and forth_

_**Maybe it's over, maybe we're through** _

_**But I honestly can say** _

_**I still love you** _

 

Rachel can't help but smile. Their friends are giving her goosebumps.

 

_Maybe we reached the mountain peak_

**_And there's no more left to climb_ **

_And maybe we lost the magic piece_

**_And we're both too blind to find_ **

 

_Let's start over_

_Let's give love their wings_

**_Let's start over_ **

_Stop fighting about the same old thing_

**_Let's start over_ **

_We can't let our good love die_

_Maybe we can start all over_

_**Give love another life** _

 

_I can see that we're not happy here_

**_So why would we keep pretending when there's nothing there_ **

**_Maybe you like it, well I don't_ **

_Maybe you'll settle, well I won't_

 

Rachel is crying copiously now. Their voices are just amazing.

 

**_Maybe we reached the mountain peak_ **

_And there's no more left to climb_

**_And maybe we lost the magic piece_ **

_And we're both too blind to find_

 

**_Let's start over_ **

_Let's give love their wings_

**_Let's start over_ **

_Stop fighting about the same old thing_

**_Let's start over_ **

_We can't let our good love die_

_Maybe we can start all over_

**_Give love another life_ **

 

_I know that this will hurt you_

_I know you'll cry I know I called you selfish but that's a lie_

_I feel I know what's the best for us_

 

All Quinn can think is how she loves her friends.

 

_Let's... **start over!**_

_And let's give love their wings_

_Let's start over_

**_I'm tired of fighting about the same old thing_ **

_Let's start over_

**_We both know that this love won't die_ **

**_Maybe we can start all over_ **

_And give love another life_

 

When Santana and Mercedes finish the song both Quinn and Rachel are a mess of tears and sobs.

* * *

 

"You love to do it right Morgan? You can't just not interfere?"

"Shut Megan… all right Quinn… for you it will only be a dream…"

The trouble man smiles prideful.

A tipsy Quinn throws herself on bed completely unaware of his presence outside of Santana's house. She closes her eyes and falls asleep right away.

And then…

_She opens her eyes; she can feel someone jumping on the bed. She turns around and sees her. Toni._

_"Hi mom Quinn!" The little Brunette jumps into her mother's arms._

_"uh… hi…"_

_Quinn rubs her eyes. But the girl is really there._

_Toni jumps on the floor and runs toward the door._

_"Wait… where are you going?"_

_Quinn gets out of the bed and she notices that this is not her bedroom. She walks toward the window and sees through it._

**_New York?_ **

_She walks out of the room and she hears voices; she follows the sounds and as she gets in the living room she gets surprised._

_"Rachel? Beth?"_

_"Hi Quinn… sorry baby, she woke you up uh?" Rachel gets close and kisses her quickly on the lips._

_"What?_

_"Oh… you're awake?" Shelby approaches them._

_"Kind of…" She whispers._

_"Can we please open the gifts?" Beth says eager._

_"Rach?"_

_"Yes Baby?"_

_"Am I dreaming?"_

_Rachel smiles her big smile._

_"Would you like it to be real?"_

_"Yes…"_

_"So wake up…"_

_"What?"_

_"Wake up…"_

"Wake up! Quinn Wake up…"

"What… when… Santana?"

She sits up. Santana is sitting on the bed.

"What's time is it?"

"Noon… look, B and I are going to eat breakfast, want to join us?"

"I can't…"

"Why not?" Santana narrows her eyes curious.

"I'm going to the airport…"

"What? Why? Where are you going?"

Quinn gets out of the bed.

"Isn't it obvious? Lima!"

* * *

 

 

The songs:

Start over ( Beyonce)

 in the other chapter I forgot the songs:

Take my breath way (Berlin)

everytime (Britney Spears)


	12. Midnight kiss

**Last night.**

The song is over and she goes to the restroom right away. She needs to compose herself. She doesn't like when she shows her emotions in front of people. It's a Fabray trace that apparently she kept over the years.

She cleans her face and redoes her makeup. Her head is a mess, years of self protection made her calloused. She exposed herself once and it was awful.

"What are you gonna do?"

She looks at her reflection.

"What are you gonna do Quinn Fabray?" She says to herself. "Yes, I'm talking to you!"

The blonde starts laughing loosely.

"She has you in her hands, even after all these years. She says jump…"

Quinn asks how high. It has been always like that.

"Not anymore." She says firmly.

Rachel Berry does not have this power over her anymore. She accepted the friendship offer only because she wants it too. She really wants them to be friends again. It's not because she can't deny Rachel or anything...

Quinn leaves the restroom and goes back to her friends. It's a party after all; a birthday party, and she should be celebrating.

Isabella is Emily's girlfriend. Emily, Quinn's ex.

Emily is an assistant costume designer and they met because of a photo-shoot the actress did. She is two years older than Quinn.

"Where did you go?" Santana asks as soon as the blonde gets close.

"The restroom, you guys ruined my makeup."

"So." The Latina inquires feigning indifference.

"So what Santana?"

"Never mind, let's drink."

"San! Come dance with me!"

They look at Brittany who is currently dancing animatedly on the dance floor. They are in a famous L.A nightclub where being a celebrity gets you basically free reign.

Isabella has many friends; she is known as a very friendly person. But for obvious reasons, she and Quinn didn't get along right away. She is also an actress and they eventually ended up working together. The friendship grew slowly but after Quinn broke up with Emily, things got easier and they started a real friendship.

"Go ahead I'm going to get something to drink." Quinn walks toward the bar counter.

She has a drink in hand when Emily approaches her.

"I was hoping that you'd stay sober tonight."

"Why?"

"Well not sober, sober but, you know, San and B are definitely not going to stay sober and this is my girlfriend's birthday party, so I'm not going to either. Isabella… well, she would have this party last till New Year's if I let her."

"I'm not gonna stay sober tonight." She drinks her drink and asks for more.

"I see." Emily locks her eyes onto Quinn's.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Quinn arches an eyebrow.

"You know? I used to think this was very cute…" she points to the blonde's eyebrow.

"You don't think it's cute anymore?"

Emily smiles and shakes her head.

"Maybe I still think it's cute." She nibbles her bottom lip charmingly.

"That's bad actually; it was supposed to be sexy."

"Oh yeah? How many girls have you charmed with that eyebrow thing?"

"Not just girls." Quinn says cynically.

"Humble."

"I am."

"Did you get tired of your puppy?" She holds her grin. "I'm sorry, your boyfriend, I mean fiancé… I don't know, what was he?"

"Fiancé… sort of. And yes, I broke up with him." She holds one hand up. "What's the point right? I don't think he is the one."

"I thought you weren't into this kind of commitment."

"I wasn't ready Em."

"Are you now?" The brunette woman inquires suggestively.

"I-"

Her cell phone starts ringing. She looks at the screen and is intrigued.

"I have to." She points to the device.

"Sure…"

"Hi." Quinn answers the phone.

Emily stares at the blonde and notices how her face lights up with a genuine smile.

_"Hi Quinn."_

Meanwhile on the other side of the country, Rachel stops pacing in her bedroom. She thought Quinn wouldn't pick up the phone.

"Uh, hi… are you okay?" The blonde asks.

_"Yeah, I'm fine. Listen, I… I just, I want you to know that it wasn't my idea… you know, the song, I didn't ask for them to sing it."_

"Okay…"

_"I really meant it when I said I want to be your friend Quinn…I-"_

"Rach it's okay."

_"Uh… well… good."_

"Are you going to be okay? I mean, alone there? Tomorrow is New Year's Eve…"

 _"Yeah, don't worry, I'll be fine. If it gets to depressing I have Carole and Burt here."_ She chuckles.

"You mean Finn's mother?" Quinn says coldly.

Rachel sighs.

 _"It was just an idea; I said it so you don't get concerned… I'm not…"_ She stutters. _"I'm not going to see Finn I-I…"_

"He is your husband; you don't have to explain anything to me."

_"He is my ex husband Quinn… and I do have to explain. I want to get closer to you again."_

_"I have to disagree; he's still your husband if you didn't sign the divorce papers yet."_ She says a little bitterly and her smile fades away completely. Emily notices, in fact deep down she is a little jealous. Yes, she knows with whom Quinn is talking to.

"Bella is calling me. We're going to finish this talk later. " Emily winks and Quinn nods as the brunette walks away.

_"You're at a party… sorry. I'll hang up and we can talk later."_

"Yeah."

_"Okay, bye, and have fun…"_

"I will. Bye Rach."

They sigh, both unwilling to hang up the phone.

_"You should hang up the phone."_

"Well, you should hang up the phone too."

 _"After you…"_ Rachel teases.

"I will, because I have to, I'm at a party." She states unsure.

Rachel giggles and Quinn closes her eyes, enjoying the sound.

_"Quinn?"_

"Yeah?"

_"Just checking if you're still there…"_

"Uh… no… I mean… yeah, I gotta go… bye Rachel."

She hangs up abruptly.

"Hi girl." Mercedes gets close to her.

"Hi." She sighs, feeling a little foolish for getting so flustered because of a single call.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened in Lima or am I gonna need my best gay?"

"He didn't tell you yet?" She teases.

Mercedes and Kurt, they're still two gossipers.

"There wasn't a good time"

Quinn giggles.

"But seriously, are you okay with all this?"

"I'm fine… I mean, we'll try to be friends again."

"That's great. And you know what? You both, your friendship was one of the most beautiful things glee brought. I understand why you guys grew apart, but I'm happy that you both are willing to reconnect. Maybe it's really time to start over…" Mercedes winks at her friend.

The blonde smiles ever so slightly. "Yeah…"

"But now, let's party!"

Quinn decides not to over do it with the drinks after all.

"Why are you not drinking Q?" Santana says, almost falling into her.

"I am drinking S, I just don't want to go crazy."

At the end of the night she is a little bit drunk anyway.

"Guys, let's party till New Year!" Isabella shouts drunk.

"Just, let's go silly…" Emily giggles.

Brittany and Mercedes help Emily put her girlfriend in the car while Quinn and Santana help each other. Or, they're trying to at least.

"What the fuck Q! My foot!"

Walking with arms entwined, they are confronted by a few paparazzi outside of the club on the sidewalk.

"Well your foot was in my way."

"No it wasn't. I'm trying to walk here…"

"HEY QUINN!"

The first shoots.

"Santana isn't it the wrong blonde?" One of them teases her.

More shoots and flashes.

"These fucking flashes; I can't see a thing…" Santana complains. "Where is B and Cedes?"

"I don't know. Are we going the right way?" Quinn asks.

With Brittany's help they eventually manage to head in the right direction and make their way home.

* * *

 

"Fucking finally!" Santana shouts when they get inside the house.

"I just want a bed." Quinn says.

"I'll call Cedes and see if she got home safely." Brittany announces. "Be careful with the stairs baby."

"When did you get so responsible?" Santana wraps her arms around her girlfriend's waist and nuzzles her face in the taller woman's neck.

"Baby, I'm just a little bit stronger than you guys when it comes to alcohol…"

"Hey, I'm not weak." Quinn mumbles childlike.

"Yeah right, I'm gonna call Beth and tell her you're not." She let go of her girlfriend and turns to Quinn.

"That's unfair! You're a bitch…you bitch." She points uncoordinated to Santana.

Santana bursts into tears.

"I'm a bitch!"

"No, you're not."

They hug each other and Brittany smiles, amused at the two women. She leaves them be and calls Mercedes.

"You're a terrible hugger." The Latina mumbles into Quinn's shoulder.

"What?"

"You're a terrible hugger. I want Rachel, she hugs better."

"She does…"

"Okay, night Cedes." Brittany hangs up the phone. "Let's sleep guys."

Brittany offers them each an arm. Quinn and Santana grab on right way.

"What about a threesome ladies?" She teases as they walk upstairs.

"B!" Quinn pinches her best friend.

"Too much ego for one bed B." Santana adds.

"I was just kidding, although it would've been very fun in high school. I mean, the unholy trinity being very unholy…"

"It'd never happen back then. That lady over there…" Santana points to Quinn. "Was a pressed lemon and a repressed little bitch."

"Hey!" Quinn complains.

"I think she would agree…" Brittany says and lets go of their arms as they reach the hallway upstairs. "If we brought Rachel too." She winks and goes inside their bedroom.

"She has a point…" Santana teases and follows her girlfriend.

"That's nonsense, I'd never share Rachel with you guys!" She shouts smirking.

"We know!" Brittany and Santana shout back together.

Quinn shakes her head and smiles as she walks toward the guest room.

* * *

 

**December 31**

_"With the taste of your lips, I'm on a ride…"_

Rachel is in front her bathroom mirror, divided between brushing her teeth and singing. She finishes all the steps of her hygiene routine and goes back to her bedroom.

_"With the taste of a poison, I'm in paradise; I'm addicted to you; don't you know that you're toxic?"_

She takes off her pajamas and goes toward her closet, choosing a random pair of workout clothes.

_"And I love what you do; don't you know that you're toxic?"_

She takes her IPod, hits play, and starts her routine on the elliptical. She accelerates the speed. After more than five years of doing it because of Broadway, her body has become slightly more toned than it used to be in high school.

Some time and many songs later, she stops her workout. She heads to the shower but the sound of the doorbell stops her halfway. She turns and walks downstairs.

"Finn?" She says as she opens the front door.

"Hi."

"Is something wrong?"

"Besides you being here alone?"

She sighs soundly.

"Rach what were you thinking? Being here alone?"

"I didn't want to go back to New York." She retorts, annoyed.

"I'm not gonna leave you here. What if someone, I don't know…"

"Finn, the house is perfectly safe. Remember I sent a professional security staff to take care of it because I wanted my fathers' safety?"

"Yes…"

"So, I'm okay." She gestures with her hand. "Come in…"

He sighs and walks in, checking her out quickly.

"Stop staring at my ass." She teases.

"This is how you answer the door?"

Over the years her workout clothes got a little sexier than it used to be in her teenage years.

"I was working out."

He rolls his eyes. "Still."

"Did you eat already?"

"Yes, have you?"

"No, I was actually going to shower. I'm sweaty."

"Yeah…" His eyes shot to her chest and glazed over. What can he do? He is not blind; Rachel has an amazing body. "I mean go ahead, I'll make you breakfast."

She stares at him for a moment. "Finn I don't think…"

"Go shower Rach."

"Okay."

All the way to the bathroom she can't stop thinking about how it seems weird. Finn is her husband, so she is technically not doing anything wrong. The memories from the other life are starting to fade away but there are two things she can't forget; her daughter and how being married to Quinn seemed so perfectly right.

"What are you doing tonight?" Finn asks as she walks into the kitchen after showering.

"What you mean?"

"It's New Year's Eve Rach."

"Well, I'll stay home obviously. Otherwise I would've gone to New York."

"If you change your mind…"

"I won't change my mind, you can do whatever you planned okay?"

"Okay."

"So, it's true what people say huh? An ex husband is better than a husband. What did you prepare for me?" She tries to be laid back.

"You made that up… didn't you?" He narrows his eyes at her.

"Maybe." She giggles. "Still true though."

On the kitchen counter, her phone starts playing Defying Gravity.

"That's Kurt." She picks up her phone.

 _"Hello divalicious!"_ Kurt says happily.

"Hi Kurt."

_"How are you?"_

"I'm fine." She answers joyfully.

_"Hey, I wanted to check if you were okay but I'm also calling because of-"_

"Shit!" Finn yells.

"What happened?" Rachel asks concerned, taking her attention away from the phone.

"Just burned my finger on the toaster nothing bad." He opens the sink faucet and puts his finger in the stream of water.

 _"Is that my stepbrother?"_ Kurt questions her.

"Yeah. He wanted to know if I was okay…"

She looks at said man.

_"I told him you were there."_

"Yeah…"

_"I thought you wanted to be with Quinn?"_

"What does that have to do with him being here?"

_"Just don't play with them…"_

"I'm not playing with anyone! This is not a game Kurt." She lowers her voice. "He came here."

 _"Okay…"_ he sucks in a breath. _"Anyway, as I was saying, I'm also calling because of Jason, are you sure?"_

Rachel had a long phone conversation with her director two days ago.

"Yes, why are you asking this?"

_"He didn't even audition for the part. And, I don't know he is… uh… off-Broadway?"_

"No, he is not. He'll be perfect, you'll see. Besides, I'm not doing this as charity or anything like that. We need him. Andrew wasn't committed, it's his loss anyway."

_"Okay, I mean, it's not a main character but is pretty important."_

"I know. But, I just suggested it anyway. Michael is the director, he'll decide."

_"It's you Rachel. You used to have an influence in the past, Jason being the biggest proof. You're a Tony winner now. But I have to say I was a little surprised. He did slander you."_

"He tried. It was just a gossip magazine." She sighs.

_"I know, but do you trust him?"_

"It isn't about trust. In the end it was worse for him. As for me being a diva, people didn't think it was a big deal. It is Broadway after all. Blaine was sublime in that musical, and he didn't exactly lie about my sexuality did he? But, as I was about to be married, no one really cared about it."

_"I know but even if he was somehow right, it was really preposterous to expose you like that."_

"I know, but believe me it could've been worse."

_He could've killed my mother._

She sighs, relieved somehow.

_"If you're saying…"_

"Well, I have my career, I won a Tony so… nothing to complain about here."

_"Listen, are you sure you're going to be okay alone there? If you're really going to be alone, that is…"_

"I'm going to be alone and I'm going to be okay." She says annoyed.

 _"Okay."_ He giggles. _"I gotta go, see you soon?"_

"Yeah, bye Kurt."

_"Bye Rach."_

She hangs up.

"Is this Jason that guy that said those things in that magazine?" Finn places the toast on the counter in front of her.

"Yes."

"Will you work with him?" She nods. "Why?" He hands her the coffee.

She exhales audibly.

"Because I owe this to him."

"What? Why?"

"Remember 'A Beginning'?"

"Yeah."

"Jason was supposed to be my co-star, but I sort of convinced the director and the producers to choose Blaine."

"That was what he said but…"

"It's true."

"You chose Blaine because you-"

"It's true that I interfered in the final choice, but Jason thought I didn't want him because he could steal my spotlight. That's not true, but…"

"What?"

"But he was right, he was the best choice. I wasn't professional. I wanted Blaine because he is my friend and I was comfortable with him because you know, he was my Tony in high school." She smiles weakly.

"Is this part of the whole "bring the old Rachel Berry back" thing?"

"Maybe…"

He shakes his head and sighs.

"What?"

"She really brings out the best of you doesn't she?"

"What are you talking about?"

Rachel sips her coffee, gazing at him curiously.

"And she is back to your life less than a couple of days."

"What you mean?"

"I love you, and I know you love me, or loved me."

She nods drawling her lips into her mouth.

"But sometimes… we bring out the worst in each other. I basically threw you into Jesse's arms and we know how that ended up. You told me about Beth, she should've done that. You cheated on me with Puck, which was so not you. I made you insecure enough for you to change your clothes, twice. I broke your nose. We lost Nationals because of a kiss…"

"We can't know that for sure."

"No." He shakes his head. "Jesse said…"

"Jesse was jealous."

He remains silent for a while, he is thoughtful.

"When she got pregnant you gave your panties to that pervert to protect her. I know it wasn't for me as she was the one who had more to loose. You helped me get a job and when she quit glee, you convinced her to come back. Even with all the insults and names, you always believed that she was more than just that cold bitch. I know it's not fair but it's the world we live in."

Rachel is surprised. Who knew that Finn Hudson, of all people, would define them so well?

"She supported you and me but I broke you guys apart."

"You didn't." She holds a hand up. "I did it. I'm the only one to blame here."

"She inspires you."

"You've inspired me too Finn."

"Yeah right. How?" he shrugs.

"Being you. Everybody has flaws and after we sign those papers, I don't want you to think of this as a failure but as a beginning. Another step in our lives, okay?"

"I'll try."

"Do more than try."

"Just don't expect me to be all smiles at the wedding."

"What wedding?"

"Your wedding with her." he kisses the top of her head. "I'm leaving, enjoy your breakfast."

"Okay, but I'm not sure if I'll have a wedding…"

He chuckles and then turns to her again. "Even on our worst days Rach, in the end, when I laid in bed with you, I used to think 'Damn! I'm married to Rachel Berry'."

Rachel smiles coyly.

"And you know, I always though Quinn was a smart girl. She got into Yale after all." He gives her his lopsided smile, the one that always makes her melt. Smiling back at him, happy and relieved, she catches his departing wink before he leaves the room.

* * *

 

"Now?"

"Yes, now!"

"What happened?"

"I don't know, look I'm not saying that… I-"

"B!" Santana yells.

"What?" Brittany appears in the doorway quickly.

"Quinn wants to go to Lima."

"What?" She frowns. "Why?"

"I had this dream. It was so real…" She says as she runs her fingers through her hair. "I have to-"

"You're going to Rachel." Brittany's face lights up with a big smile. "Are we coming too?" She turns to Santana.

"No. I mean, it'll be difficult enough to get a flight for her…"

"And we're wasting time here." Quinn says as she walks toward the bathroom.

"Okay, I'm calling Luis. He can get a flight for you." She stands up. "Let's go to your house, you need to pack."

"I don't need to pack." She says from the bathroom. "I'm going home after all."

"I forgot. Okay, let's get you a flight!"

"Yay!" Brittany shouts excitedly.

"I do need some clothes though..." She walks out of the bathroom.

"You can take mine. You're going to need a coat." Brittany suggests.

"Okay." Quinn nods.

"Wait, how are you going to get there? Should we call Rachel?" Santana frowns concerned.

"No!" Brittany shouts. "It'll ruin the surprise!"

"I can call Mom." Quinn gets thoughtful. "Though I don't want her driving alone at night. If I can get a flight soon, I'll most likely arrive late tonight."

"Yeah." Brittany shrugs.

"I can rent a car."

Santana stares at her, pondering this option.

"You'll be tired, it'll be probably snowing so, no."

"Don't worry I'll drive safely I promise."

The Latina takes her phone from her pocket. She calls her assistant, Luis. Brittany's choice, she didn't want her girlfriend having a female one. And yes she has an assistant because Santana Lopez is, in her words, a hell of a singer. Further proven by her increasing success throughout the last two years.

"Hello? Hi Luis, I need you…"

* * *

 

He got a flight for her this afternoon at 3:15, California time.

"All right bitch, you owe me. Say hi to Berry for me."

"I actually owe Luis."

"Whatever." Santana rolls her eyes.

"Bye Quinn." Brittany hugs her best friend. "Go get her!" She winks.

Quinn smiles shyly. "You heard my girl." Santana teases. "Just careful with the over-berry-dose." She says really seriously.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on. Regardless of the emotion, drama and feelings between you both, you're fucking hot for her. You have the hot's for Berry. It's like you got the golden ticket and you're going to the Willy Wonka factory. Can you control yourself fat girl?"

Quinn stares at Santana with her mouth wide open.

"That would be super cool." Brittany beams.

"O-kay, you're crazy." She rubs her forehead smiling from ear to ear.

"Just go already." Santana smiles.

"Bye guys."

Moments later as she settles in her seat, she can't help but smile at Santana's statement.

Damn! I'm really feeling like Charlie now.

And then she loses it. She starts laughing loudly and uncontrollably. She tries to stop, cleaning her throat.

"Sorry." She says to the man on her side. "I'm just remembering something."

She said she loves me… she fucking loves me! Rachel loves me!

I'm engaged?

She scorns herself, because, when she would choose anyone over Rachel?

I'm an idiot, she said she loves me!

"You're Quinn Fabray?" The man asks.

"Yes." She nods.

"Can I… take a picture?"

"Sure."

_She loves me…_

* * *

 

After Finn left, Rachel decided to try and finish the book she was currently reading but quickly gave up. Her Dads' called in the early afternoon to see if she was okay. Sure, she was, but nothing can stop her mind from thinking about a certain blonde. It's torture she thinks, being alone and thinking about Quinn.

She couldn't go back to New York yet. It's silly but staying in Lima makes her feel close to that life with Quinn. The moment she goes back, everything will be like before. She will restart rehearsals and then, opening night will arrive.

Rachel loves New York and she considers herself a New Yorker. Her and Quinn though, they met and fell in love in Lima. She is not sure when it happened, but she knows that it wasn't after college graduation. It wasn't even after high school graduation. She fell in love with Quinn bit by bit, since the day she first saw the girl.

It's funny that both wanted so much to get out of Lima, but everything they needed was right there. She loves Broadway, and is proud of her career, but honestly? She loves Quinn so much that she actually would give it all up for her. That was what the glimpse was all about, right?

After eating something, she goes and sits at the Berry family piano.

Well, music always calms her down.

She sighs as she randomly plays, till it becomes more harmonious and turns into a song. She begins singing:

_Come on, oh my star is fading_

_And I swerve out of control If I,_

_if I'd only waited_

_I'd not be stuck here in this hole…_

* * *

 

She lands at Dayton International Airport at 10:45 at night, Ohio time.

In the parking lot, there is a car waiting for her.

"Ms. Quinn Fabray?"

"Yes."

"Here is the key."

"Thank you."

She takes the key from the young man. It seems that life styles of the rich and famous is really a thing. Luis arranged everything for her before she landed.

"You just have to sign here." He hands her his clipboard.

"Sure." She signs. "Here take it." She hands him a big tip. She gets in the car and drives out of the parking lot.

/

_Come here, oh my star is fading_

_And I swerve out of control_

_And I swear, I waited and waited_

_I've got to get out of this hole_

 

Rachel gets lost in the music, though her thoughts are on Quinn. She wants to keep every little detail but everything is just… going away. She wants to remember her touch, the taste of her lips, the way Quinn said her name when she was moaning it. It can't be over. They can't be over.

 

_But time is on your side,_

_it's on your side, now_

_Not pushing you down, and all around_

_It's no cause for concern_

/

She drives a bit fast, albeit carefully. She did promise after all.

_"Mom Quinn!"_

Her thoughts go back to the dream. She wonders if that is the life she will have with Rachel. She wonders if Rachel saw the same little girl in her dream.

_Toni…_

It is so Rachel to name her daughter that.

"Toni… Oh, of course, Antoinette." She shakes her head amused. "Still." she giggles happily.

It's Antoinette Perry Awards after all. She knows everything about the Tony she is Rachel Berry's friend.

She sighs.

_I was…_

She was.

_Am… I am…_

She is.

/

_Come on, oh my star is fading_

_And I see no chance of release_

_And I know I'm dead on the surface_

_But I am screaming underneath_

 

Rachel knows it'll be the most difficult thing in the world to be Quinn's friend because she will always want more. But she wants to try, she really wants to try.

 

_And time is on your side,_

_it's on your side, now_

_Not pushing you down,_

_and all around_

_No it's no cause for concern_

/

"You've got to be kidding me!" She shouts angrily as she looks in the rearview mirror at the flashing lights.

Quinn huffs impatiently and pulls the car over to the side of the highway. She waits for the policeman.

"It's New Year's Eve." She pouts when he walks up to her window.

"So, because it's New Year's Eve you can break the law? Besides it's dangerous at this time of year lady." He looks at her. "Wait a minute… oh no, I can't believe it!"

"Yes, I'm Quinn Fabray. Here's my license." She hands him her license.

"Yes you're Quinn Fabray, but you're probably thinking I recognized you because of your movies, right? Well it's not."

Quinn stares at him confused.

/

_Stuck on the end_

_of this ball and chain_

_And I'm on my way back down again_

_Stood on the edge,_

_tied to the noose_

_Sick to the stomach…_

 

Rachel sings passionately as her eyes are full of tears.

/

"It's okay, you wouldn't remember me. You were unconscious, which is another reason that you of all people should know the consequences of a reckless act."

She shrugs, flashes of that day coming to mind… Rachel's wedding day.

"I know."

He glares at her.

"Look, I was young. Texting while driving was stupid of me. And okay, you're right, I should know better, but I promise that I will slow down and be careful. I really need to get home."

"Okay, I'll let you go without a fine but only because you weren't going that fast but please, no speeding lady."

"No speeding. I got it.

/

_Say what you mean_

_But it won't change a thing_

_I'm sick of the secrets_

_Stood on the edge, tied to the noose_

_Oh, you came along and she cut me loose_

_Oh, you came along and you cut me loose_

_Oh, you came along and you cut me loose_

Rachel stood motionless for a moment ; she wipes her tears and then she stood up. The singer walks toward the couch and throws herself on it. She fumbles for the remote and when she finds it, she turns the TV on.

"Well, it'll be a very interesting night." She looks up. "I deserve it I suppose?"

She sighs melancholic.

* * *

 

As Quinn parks the car, she gets a little eager. She gets out and stares at the Berry's house, remembering the time that she wished a game of spin the bottle had taken a different path.

Damn bottle! Damn Blaine!

But then she smirks and arches an eyebrow. Seems the bottle is pointing to her now. She walks toward the house.

When she reaches the front door Quinn takes a deep breath and presses the doorbell.

Sitting on the couch and watching TV, Rachel is surprised at the sound of the doorbell.

Then she rolls her eyes.

_Finn…_

Rachel walks slowly toward the front door. She is honestly not in the mood for visitors.

She opens the door. "Look Finn I really don't-" She stops mid-sentence. "Quinn?"

"Expecting someone else?" The blonde arches her eyebrow.

It takes a few seconds for Rachel to recover. "Uh… no… what-uh… wow… you're really here, come-"

"Wait."

"What?"

"I really don't know how to deal with this Rachel." She exhales heavily looking up. "I know I said I wanted to be your friend."

Rachel tilts her head to the side nibbling her lip slightly. "You don't have-"

"No." she holds a hand up. "You don't get to talk now."

Rachel nods, trying to control her excitement. She can't believe Quinn is right in front of her, as beautiful as ever.

"I know I said that, but screw it, I don't want to be your friend." She says firmly.

"No?" Rachel swallows disappointed.

"No, I don't. I want you. That's what I want."

"Oh." She smiles, her breath catching.

"Over the past six years, I learned how to control these feelings, how to live without thinking about you every fucking second." She chuckles. "But you know what? I was stupid and weak. I shouldn't have walked away from you that night or ever." She gets closer. "I should have fought for you, until forever until I had no more strength. I love you…"

"I-"

"I wasn't finished."

Rachel looked into hazel eyes so full of love and passion. Quinn always had a special and intense way of looking at her.

"Our friendship needed you Rach, I was torn. I needed my friend."

"I know…"

"But I'm not blaming you. I'm guilty as well."

"No." Rachel shakes her head frantically.

But Quinn cuts her off again. "And it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not here because of the past. I don't fucking care about it anymore. I'm here because I can't get through another six seconds without doing this…"

"Wh-"

Before Rachel can say anything, in one motion, Quinn presses their lips together.

_Oh God…_

Is all Rachel can think before she immerses herself in the kiss. Quinn on the other hand, is releasing ten years of frustration. She kisses Rachel with all the passion she can, savoring the taste of the brunette's lips.

In Quinn's pocket her phone is buzzing. She pulls away.

"Sorry." She caresses Rachel's face with the pad of her thumb. "I've wanted to do that for ten years."

"Oh, no, I…" Rachel is speechless; Quinn definitely knocked her socks off with that kiss.

Their real first kiss.

The blonde takes her phone and stops the alarm.

"It's midnight." She nibbles her bottom lip as her eyes glance over Rachel's lips.

The Broadway star nods cynically. "So? There's something you want to do?"

"Well."

"Have you ever kissed someone at midnight on New Years Quinn Fabray?"

"Never found the right person…" Quinn pouts.

They press their lips together again, this time more gracefully. Rachel opens her mouth and feels Quinn's tongue slip in. She lets it in deeper and deeper as Quinn presses her body into hers.

Walking backwards without breaking the kiss, tongues intertwined with deep passion they get completely inside. Rachel pulls away this time.

"Happy New Year." She smiles.

"Very happy." Quinn whispers as she nuzzles Rachel's hair smelling her favorite scent, Rachel.

The brunette closes the door.

"I have to call Santana and let her know that I got here." Quinn says as she caresses Rachel's hair.

"How did you get here by the way?" Rachel frowns, suspecting the answer.

"I took a plane?"

The brunette stares at her.

"Well, I took a plane into Dayton."

"Quinn."

"Then drove…"

"Driving at night?! With the road full of snow?"

"It wasn't that bad."

"Quinn!"

"I drove safely, I promise."

She thinks leaving out the part that the policeman stopped her is a good idea.

"You should have called me. I would've gone to L.A."

"And why is it different?"

"There is… you know… time zones. What happened? Why did you come all of sudden?"

"Complaining?" She pouts.

"No. But really." Rachel smiles in love.

"I had a dream."

"A dream?" Rachel asks curiously.

"Yes, a very beautiful dream."

* * *

 

**The song:**

**Amsterdam (By Coldplay)**


	13. All about kissing

Rachel knows that they have to talk. There's a lot of things that need to be said but as Quinn said once, 'it's not possible to change the past, but you can let it go and start the future'. Besides, they have their entire lives ahead. Right now, she just wants to enjoy this moment. She is still over the moon with Quinn and all the kissing. Plus, the best part of all is that Quinn still loves her. Very much so.

"Well, tell me more about this dream." Rachel smiles her big smile.

"We have all night."

"Not just all night, our entire lives."

"Promise?"

She nods looking intensely at shinning hazel eyes.

"Come on." She holds Quinn's hand and they walk toward the living room. "Do you want something? As you can notice-" Rachel points to the coffee table. "I was enjoying the company of a glass of wine…"

Quinn smiles happily and nods. She wonders if she will ever be capable of doing anything but smile ever again. "Sure, I'll call Santana…"

"Do it, I'll be right back. Please make yourself comfortable, you're at home."

Quinn smiles even bigger, if that's possible.

"Okay." She takes her coat off.

"Just throw it somewhere." Rachel gets close and kisses her sweetly. When she pulls away, Quinn sighs, content and in love.

The brunette takes the empty glass and walks toward the kitchen while the blonde follows her with her eyes. Days ago it would be just a distant dream, one she learned to repress for the most part over the years but would once in a while, pop into her mind. And now she is here, kissing Rachel at the Berry's house. She is happy like never before, though something bothers her. Rachel is still married.

Quinn wants Rachel to herself and only herself. She won't share the Broadway star with anyone. She trusts Rachel when the brunette says she will get the divorce, but she wants it to happen as soon as possible.

The actress sighs and takes out her phone. She needs to tell Santana that she is at the Berry's house already. She sits on the couch and waits her best friend to answer the phone.

"Hi, it's me."

_"So?"_

"Well, I'm here."

 _"Spit it!"_ Santana says eagerly.

"Wow, you're really interested about mine and Rachel's love life, are you sure you are Santana Lopez?"

 _"Brittany is eager here and I don't like when she is upset…"_ She tries to be indifferent.

"Sure."

_"Just fucking tell me!"_

"We're okay San, I love her, you know that." The blonde sigh in total elation and even through the phone Santana can tell that her friend is in bliss.

_"Yeah. I do."_

"We kissed." Quinn giggles happily.

 _"It's about fucking time."_ She teases. _"Go get your girl, I'm gonna back to mine."_

"Okay, happy New Year S."

_"Technically, still not the New Year here…"_

"Whatever."

_"Whatever back."_

"Bye S."

_"Bye Bitch!"_

She hangs up.

"How are they?" Rachel gets back with two glasses of wine in her hands.

"They're okay, probably making out right now." She gets embarrassed and Rachel giggles. "Anyway, yeah, they're fine."

"Here." Rachel hands her one glass, kisses her cheek and sits on the couch turning to the other woman.

"Thank you." Quinn drinks. She smiles and looks at the brunette as Rachel stares at her fondly.

"You're so, so beautiful." Rachel says as she keeps her eyes on Quinn.

The blondes smiles shyly and looks away. She drinks a little bit more and then she sighs.

"What?" Rachel asks joyfully.

"It's… the way you're looking at me now." She turns to Rachel again.

"What about it?"

The Broadway star can't take her eyes off the blonde, not that she wants it anyway.

"I think- It's different."

"Quinn." Rachel puts her glass on the coffee table.

Quinn looks down smiling, and while fingering the stem of her wine glass she says, "It's a good different."

"Look at me." Rachel gets closer and locks her brown eyes onto Quinn's hazel ones. "Are you sure it's different?" She looks at her love intensely.

No, it isn't different. Just like Quinn always had a special way of looking at Rachel, the Broadway star always had a special way of looking at Quinn. Though now they both know what it means and how the other feels.

"I love you. I didn't just wake up yesterday in love with you Quinn. It has been always here." She points to her chest. "I have always loved you my sunshine."

"What did you call me?" Quinn says almost like a whisper.

"My sunshine?" Rachel teases.

"Yeah." She nibbles her lip. "I know it seems silly but I missed you calling me that."

Rachel shakes her head. "It's not silly." She kisses Quinn's chin and then she kisses her cheek. She keeps planting closed-mouthed kisses on the blonde's face until she reaches the side of her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." Quinn runs her fingers through Rachel's hair.

The brunette takes Quinn's glass and puts it on the coffee table. She cups the blonde's face and presses their lips together. The kiss starts as a slow dance of gentle lips but becomes more passionate, both girls savoring the taste of each other's mouths. Rachel's hand runs over the blonde's long hair and she smiles into the kiss.

"Are you sure you wanna cut your hair?"

"You're really thinking about it right now?"

They press their lips together again.

"No, I mean, yes, it's just that… I want some time with this hair."

"I won't cut if you don't want me to."

Quinn giggles and kisses her again but when she is about to deepen it Rachel stops again.

"No, I'm not- I want you to decide for yourself, don't do anything for me."

"I'll do everything for you Rachel." She says without hesitation.

"I don't deserve it."

"Don't. Don't do this. Let's forget about the past okay?"

Rachel nods.

"And it's just a hair cut Rach. I want you to think I'm pretty, so, if you think I'm pretty with long hair, long hair it is." She says playfully.

"I think you're pretty with any hair baby." She smirks.

Rachel knows it's just a haircut so she won't push it. She adores that Quinn would do anything for her. The bigger picture is that from now on, she has the opportunity to be around for all these types of things.

"Whatever you decide, I'm okay with it."

She kisses the blonde again and soon, they're making out on the couch. Rachel shifts onto Quinn's lap, straddling her as the blonde grips her hips. She wraps her arms around Quinn's neck and they moan while their tongues bump into each other.

Quinn knows that things are getting a little too heated and soon she won't be able to stop. But she has no intention of having sex with Rachel while she is still married to Finn Hudson.

"Rach -"She tries to get out but Rachel is busy assaulting her lips. "Rach…"

"Yeah…" Rachel stops and looks at Quinn. "What?"

"I don't think this is the proper place to…"

"Do you want to my bedroom?" She kisses Quinn again but the blonde pulls away.

"We should go slow…"

She freezes. Did she cross the line?

"Sorry." She gets out of the blonde's lap.

"I just-"

"No, it's okay, I- you're tired, we should probably go to sleep."

She takes both glass and walks toward the kitchen. Quinn covers her face with her hands and exhales heavily.

_Great!_

In the kitchen, Rachel puts the glasses in the sink and taps her forehead.

Why do I always do the wrong thing?

She is a little bit frustrated and feeling rejected right now. Maybe she got used to the Quinn who wanted her all the time. What if this Quinn doesn't want her like that, with that urge and intensity?

_Karma is a bitch!_

Now Quinn is the one who wants to go slow.

Lost in her thoughts she doesn't notice when Quinn gets close to her and puts a firm hand on her stomach.

"What's wrong?" The blonde says into her ear and Rachel closes her eyes trying to focus on her answer instead of Quinn's body pressed against hers.

"Nothing, I'm sorry I pushed you somehow."

"What? No, you didn't-"

"It's okay, come on…" Rachel turns around though her eyes are focused on the floor and then she takes Quinn's hand. "You must be tired."

Quinn nods and let Rachel take her out of the kitchen. They walk holding hands until they reach upstairs.

Rachel stops in front of her bedroom door.

"Uh, we have a guest room if you…"

"If I what?" Quinn is curious.

"I don't know- it's okay if you don't want to sleep with me." She says looking away.

"What?" She frowns slightly. "Rachel, look at me." She holds Rachel's chin and forces the brunette to face her. "You're upset?"

"No, of course not! Quinn I'm so happy, you have no idea."

"What is it then?"

"I-I, I want you!" She bursts out. "So fucking much, but I… I'm okay if you don't want me the same way now-"

This kiss isn't gentle at all. This time, Quinn presses their lips together hungrily. It turns into a mutual attempt to devour each other. Their mouths open and close around each other and it's filled with dueling tongues, teeth clashing and lip biting.

Quinn lifts Rachel in the air and the brunette wraps her legs around the blonde's waist. She carries Rachel into the bedroom as they keep kissing passionately.

_Oh God… I love this Quinn!_

She does love this Quinn, the one who desires her with a desperate intensity.

When they reach the bed, Quinn lays Rachel down on the mattress, staying on top. They press together tightly, overwhelming lust settling upon both of them. Tongues intertwine with deep passion, moans escaping from both, as if trying to communicate their desires.

Quinn is thinking about how much she's wanted this and Rachel is thinking about how much she missed it.

Somewhere, in the back of the blonde's mind, there's a voice trying to push through the lustful haze that's overtaken her. Unfortunately, Quinn just doesn't care right now and continues to ignore it. Rachel however is in complete bliss. She still finds amazing and overwhelming on how much Quinn makes her hot. She softly moans as her hands slide up and down Quinn's back until she reaches lower and cups the blonde's ass.

Talking about missing things…

Rachel squeezes the flesh under her hands and moans in pleasure. This action however seems to help snap Quinn out of her haze and she pulls out of the kiss.

"What's wrong?"

The blonde waits a few seconds before replying as she is trying to control herself. She was really close to just take the brunette right there in Rachel's childhood bed. Which she fantasized on doing. A lot.

"I've been wanting you for years Rachel." She presses her forehead on Rachel's. Her breathing is heavy. "I just-"

"What?" Rachel can feel that something is holding her back.

"I do believe you, but I want to do this right." She gets on her elbows. Looking into Rachel's eyes she says. "You're still married."

Rachel nods clearly disappointed.

"I want you to be just mine."

"I am just yours."

"Not according to the law." She rolls over and lays next to Rachel. "You're his wife." She says through her teeth as she looks up at the ceiling.

"I haven't been his wife in a long time Quinn. He hasn't touched me in over a month."

She meant sexually though she doesn't think it necessary to point that out.

"You know, the last time we-"

"I don't want to know." Quinn says promptly.

Rachel stands up and turns on the light. Quinn shifts herself onto her elbows as she looks at the Broadway star.

"Rach, I want you more than you can imagine-"

"Quinn, I love you, I'll do anything for you. Anything you want." She says waving her hands in the blonde's direction. "If you want us to be celibate again, it's fine by me." She teases.

She throws a pillow at her. Rachel takes it and giggles.

"Silly." Quinn says with a big smile on her face.

"Do you want something more comfortable to sleep in?"

"Sure. I mean, I can try your clothes. It's not like you're so tiny or anything."

"Oh, you're so funny Fabray." Rachel narrows her eyes and shakes her head.

"Really? That's great, I received a script recently and it's a comedy. It's settled then, I'll do it." She smirks.

Rachel sighs.

"What?"

"You…" She walks toward the bed, places her knee on the mattress and cups Quinn's neck. She leans in and kisses the blonde passionately. "You're amazing."

The actress licks her lips as she stares at Rachel's lips.

"You can… uh, you can use my bathroom. I'll get something for you."

"Okay."

Moments later, the blonde exits to find Rachel sitting on the bed with an Ipad in front of her.

"If he starts in three days maybe, we can get ready… uh… let me see…" She mumbles to herself while her finger glides over the screen. She is completely unaware of Quinn's presence.

"What are you doing?" The actress asks enthralled.

"Just rescheduling my agenda." She takes her eyes from the device.

"Oh yeah, I forgot how much you like to plan things."

Rachel nods playfully. "I do." She places the Ipad on the night stand as Quinn gets in bed.

"What exactly are you planning?"

"Well, I need time, there's this thing I want to do as long as possible."

"What?" Quinn gets closer.

"Stay with you." She smiles happily.

"That can be arranged." The blonde wraps her arm around Rachel's waist and pulls her into her lap. "Can I watch you?" She strokes Rachel's hair fondly.

"You mean…"

"Opening night."

Rachel's face lights up with her big smile. She wraps her arms around Quinn's neck.

"I think I can arrange a special place for my girlfriend." She kisses Quinn's nose.

Quinn gets surprised, she hadn't thought about titles yet. But she likes the idea. She likes it very much.

Rachel's girlfriend.

It's not like she's wanted that it for years. Oh, wait. Yeah, she has.

"Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said that." Rachel shrugs as she sees Quinn's thoughtful face.

"Why not? Don't you want it?"

Rachel laughs. "Well, I gave you a lot of tips that I in fact want it very much. Not just recently, but also in the past."

She lost count of how many times she called Quinn "girlfriend". Starting in that exact house years ago.

"But in case it is still not obvious Quinn Fabray, do you wanna be my girlfriend?" She smiles hopefully.

"Mmm, I don't know…" She teases. "I think you need to take me on a date first."

"Okay." She nibbles her bottom lip eagerly.

Quinn rolls her eyes playfully. "Yes silly, of course I want to be your girlfriend." She presses their lips together and pulls Rachel's back on the mattress.

Settling on top of the brunette, she traces the outside of Rachel's mouth with her tongue and it opens eagerly. Gently probing, Quinn forgets momentarily about laurels as she runs her hands up Rachel's legs. The kiss picks up some heat, getting even more passionate.

Rachel moans soundly as Quinn's hands continue up body, past the curve of her hip, up until it reaches her breast. The blonde feels Rachel's legs wrap around her and lock at the small of her back with her hips rising up to increase friction. Quinn has imagined this exact position over and over and can't believe it's finally happening. Her kissing slowly moves down to the brunette's neck to the small cleavage that is showing above Rachel's shirt.

"Quinn…" Rachel is sure she'll combust. Meanwhile, the blonde is sucking her neck in all the right places. "Oh Fuck, Quinn you need to stop…"

"Mmm, I don't want to stop." She is on a mission, she wants to mark Rachel's neck.

"But… baby please…" Her hips seem to have a mind of their own and continue to slowly thrust up into the blond. It really isn't helping her think clearly. "Quinn, please stop…"

The blonde comes back to her senses and pulls away quickly. Rachel is breathing heavily, trying her best to control herself from falling over the edge. She closes her eyes fiercely and bites her lip.

Oh God…

"Did you?" Quinn asks her eyes full of lust.

"No…"

But it was close.

"Close, but no." She smiles. "I just didn't want, you know…"

"I got carried away."

Rachel gives her a chaste kiss on the lips.

"It's okay. So, sleep?"

The actress nods.

"Cuddle me?" Rachel asks.

Quinn smiles dreamily, she didn't have to be asked.

"Try and stop me."

They settle on the bed with the blonde spooning the brunette.

"Remember the last time we did it?"

Yeah… wait, what? Does Quinn remember the glimpse?

"Before, you know-." She pauses. "Santana teased us all day." She giggles.

_Oh right, of course. Before that stupid night. More like stupid Rachel!_

"I remember," Rachel says sadly.

"What's wrong?"

"I just had this perfect friend and I pushed her away."

"Rach." Quinn holds Rachel's chin and the brunette looks over her shoulder. "I don't want you to do this-"

"But-"

"Besides," Quinn cuts her off. "I wasn't that perfect."

"Of course you were." Rachel takes the blonde's hand and bites it sweetly. Quinn smiles and kisses her head.

"No, I wasn't. Do you want to know why I wanted you to remember that night?"

Rachel nods.

"I held you in my arms till you fell asleep and I-" She tries but she can't stop the tears that start to stream down her face.

"Hey." Rachel turns around. She hates when Quinn cries. "It's okay I'm here." She kisses the tears.

"I started thinking about the future, if someday I would get to hold you like that but- but with you being my wife."

"You did." She caresses Quinn's hair. "I'm not sure what it was, a dream, a hallucination, whatever. But we were married Quinn, and you always held me like this when we were going to sleep."

"Tell me more about her."

"Her?"

"Toni." Quinn smiles dreamy.

"You mean, Lucy Antoinette Berry-Fabray?" Rachel says full of pride.

She giggles happily and kisses Rachel's head. "Lucy?"

"Yeah. Baby, she is so much like me. So, we figured she needed to have something of yours too."

Quinn sighs in utter bliss. For Rachel, it seems very natural. In theory, she has shared many intimate moments with the blonde. But to Quinn it's all very new.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just like when you call me baby. I-" Rachel smiles and kisses her quickly. "But keep going."

"So yes, we named her Lucy."

"I'm glad you didn't choose Quinn. You know, Quinn Antoinette?"

"I actually wanted it, but you persuade me otherwise." Quinn laughs amused. "And for the record, it would be a very nice name that way as well." She pouts.

"No baby."

This time Rachel smiles as she nibbles her lip charmingly.

"I mean, I want Lucy."

"She is so cute Quinn."

"I know."

"You do?" Rachel is intrigued.

"I dreamed about her last night. I mean, I don't know if she is the same little girl you dreamed about. She was so beautiful…" She stares at the brunette, looking at all her traces. "Like you. She was wearing this cute dress; it was just like the dress you wore at-"

"The Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza."

"Yes." Quinn laughs.

"You gave it to her. You said you dreamed about it last night?"

Quinn nods. Rachel narrows her eyes. She sort of has an idea of what this whole dream thing was all about.

"It was Christmas, and Beth and Shelby were with us…"

"Really?"

They keep talking through the night. Though they eventually fall asleep.

* * *

 

"So, is this you taking me on a date?"

"I guess you can say that."

She smiles as they walk toward the Fabray residence. Waking up in each other's arms was an amazing experience for both of them. They spent the morning flirting, teasing each other and of course making out a little bit. Rachel managed to fix something decent for them to eat, though Quinn wouldn't have complained anyway.

After talking and making out a little bit more, Quinn asked her out. Kind of. Technically, she asked her to go to her mother's house.

"I'm little nervous I have to say."

"Why?"

"Well, we're dating for less than a day and I'm already meeting your mother?" Rachel says playfully.

"Silly."

Quinn wraps her arms around Rachel's shoulders.

"I'm truly nervous though."

"Don't be, just remember, I love you. That's what matters to me, even if she doesn't approve of you, which may be possible since we're talking about Rachel Berry here."

"Baby, just call your agent. Tell him you're gonna do that comedy movie because really, you're making me laugh so hard right now."

"Sarcasm?" She arches an eyebrow.

"No way!" Rachel shakes her head playfully. "Absolutely not."

"Let's just go in." She rolls her eyes.

Rachel watches her girlfriend walk. Quinn is wearing jeans, so she wants to stare at the blonde's ass.

"What are you doing?" Quinn says as she looks behind and catches her girlfriend staring at her ass.

Rachel smiles loosely. Déjà vu?

"You have a thing for my ass, don't you?"

"Hm?" She teases. "Ass, abs, breast, thighs- among other things."

Quinn swallows hard as she pictures Rachel doing things to her other things.

"Rachel!" She whines.

"What?" Rachel asks impishly.

"Celibate, remember?"

"You're the one who wanted to revive the celibacy club. I'm the one who's wanted to fuck you senseless since I saw you on Christmas baby."

The blonde doesn't answer. She turns around and walks towards the door. Rachel giggles and follows her girlfriend.

Judy welcomes them with a wide smile on her face.

"Hi! Oh my God!" She hugs her daughter. "What are you doing here?" She pulls away and looks at Rachel. "And with… what happened?"

"We'll explain mom. Let's just get in. Happy New Year by the way."

"Yes, Happy New Year!"

"Hi Judy? I'm going to hug you now." Rachel says more like a request. "If it's okay, that is."

"Sure honey."

They hug each other lively.

"Come on in." Judy gestures with her hand. "Seems today is the day of visits."

"What you mean?" Quinn asks and they get inside.

"Susan is here."

"Oh, is something wrong?"

"No, we were just talking. Her daughter is here too. Come on, we're having tea in the kitchen."

They walk in the kitchen.

"Look girls, look who is here!" Judy beams.

"Quinn!" Susan says joyfully.

"Hi Susan, Hi Kate."

_Great!_

Rachel draws her lips into her mouth as Kate looks her over, head to toe.

"Hi Quinn." Kate says to Quinn but her attention is on the brunette at her side.

"I thought you were in L.A." Susan inquires.

"I was, you guys know Rachel?"

"Of course." Kate says excitedly. "Well, I think it was a great idea to join you today Mom, and here I was thinking that watching Tv would be a better choice."

"Kate!" Susan reprimands her daughter. "I've never had the pleasure of meeting her in person." She says as she smiles at the Broadway star.

Rachel can see where Kate inherited her beauty and her green-grey eyes.

Kate ignores her mother. "You guys are legends. Unfortunately when I attended McKinley high you guys were no longer there." She stares at Rachel again though this time Quinn notices.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're here?" Judy asks still very happy with her daughter's sudden appearance.

"Uh…" Quinn looks at Rachel. "I just missed you."

Judy nods, but she knows, she can see on her daughter's face. They are finally together. She smiles even more openly.

"Okay, come on girls. Let me prepare a cup of tea for you both."

Susan and Kate stay a little longer and then Susan says that they need to leave.

Quinn is relieved. She's not thrilled that Kate is openly flirting with her girlfriend. True, she doesn't know Rachel is her girlfriend but still.

Plus side is that Rachel refuses all Kate's attempts to impress her.

"You know, you're even more beautiful in person." Kate says as she strokes Rachel's arm. The brunette rolls her eyes.

"Thanks." She says politely. Even with her continued disinterest in anything Kate says, she won't deny she enjoys watching a jealous Quinn.

"By girls." Susan says.

"By Susan, it was a pleasure." Rachel replies.

Judy walks then to the door and Quinn and Rachel settle in the living room.

"I think Kate has a thing for you."

"You think?" Rachel teases.

"Yeah." She nods vehemently. "I mean, she was flirting with you! Blatantly in our faces!"

Rachel turns to Quinn, "She didn't know you're my girlfriend, you could've told them."

"I wanted to but you know, I didn't want mom to find out this way."

"I know."

"She better stay away from you." Quinn huffs.

"Baby you have nothing to worry about. I know I have a thing for blondes-" She smirks. Quinn frowns a little. "But there's only one blonde for me."

"Oh yeah?"

Rachel nods and gets closer; they're almost kissing when Judy appears.

"So?" She inquires when she approaches them. "Are you girls going to tell me the news?"

* * *

 

Judy basically threw herself into her daughter arms after Quinn told her they were officially dating. She was more than happy for her daughter. In fact, she was more than willing to start planning the wedding. Even though she wants them to enjoy this moment, something tells her that wedding bells are inevitable.

"I think we can say she approves of me, huh?" Rachel says as they enter Quinn's bedroom. She stops for a moment and takes her time looking over every detail of the room.

"I guess so." Quinn giggles.

Everything seems the same. But she preferred it when Toni was messing around.

"What are you thinking about?" Quinn sits on the edge of the bed.

"You. Us."

"Come here." Her eyes are on Rachel's. "I love you." She wraps her arms around Rachel's waist. "Can you do something for me?" She looks up.

"Anything." Rachel kisses her forehead.

"I know I said no sex."

"Yeah." Rachel exhales soundly.

"But…"

She pulls her girlfriend close and shifting them she pushes Rachel's back on the bed.

"We still can kiss right?"

"As much as you want." Rachel smiles.

"I think want it a lot."

The brunette lifts her head to press their lips together, but Quinn stops her, placing her index finger on her lips.

"I just have one request…"

"Sure baby."

"Show me your legs?"

Rachel nibbles her lip and smirks. "Mmm, looks like someone has a thing for my legs." She teases the blonde, even though she already knew it.

"I do. And I'm not ashamed of that." She says playfully.

"Okay."

She unzips the fastener of her jeans and slowly puts her pants down her legs. She can feel Quinn's stare.

"They're all yours." She says with her sexy voice.

Quinn doesn't answer, she is hypnotized. She settles between them and starting on the ankle, she runs her nails up the smooth skin.

She presses her lips against softness under her hands and kisses her way up Rachel's leg. The brunette moans slightly. When she reaches the thigh, she regrets this idea entirely. Now, there's only Rachel's underwear in the way of what she wants the most. She kisses the warm skin one more time and pulls away. She lays on Rachel's side, her chest going up and down.

"It was a stupid idea."

"Yeah." She says frustrated. "Let's just focus on the kissing part."

The blonde giggles. "Well, a lot of people say I'm really good at kissing."

And teasing…

Rachel thinks.

"Oh yeah, let's make out in your bedroom Fabray."

"Don't get too cocky Berry."

"Excuse me, who is about to make out with none other than Quinn Fabray?"

"Let me guess?"

"If you have to think this much, I mean, I can see you're not into this plan…"

"Let me show you exactly how much I am into this plan."

She presses their lips together and they make out through the night until sleep finally finds them.


	14. No more barriers, just forever

**Warning: sexy times**

* * *

 

Another fabulous day of waking up with Rachel in her arms. Seriously, how she is supposed to wake up without her from now on?

"Good morning girlfriend." Rachel says joyfully, making the blonde behind her giggle into her neck.

"Morning beautiful." She kisses the brunette's neck. "This is so nice."

"What?"

"Waking up with you in my arms."

"I couldn't tell, I never woke up with me in my arms."

"Haha."

Quinn bites Rachel's shoulder.

"Ouch! Okay, I'm leaving…"

She tries to get up but Quinn holds her tighter.

"Quinn!"

"No, you're not leaving me." She smiles and wraps her legs around Rachel.

"Alright, I'm not leaving you."

"Good." She says, stroking Rachel's hip. She slowly slips her hand under the brunette's shirt and stops right under her breast.

"You know, you're inches away from turning this into a sexual caress."

The blonde exhales audibly and removes her hand from Rachel's torso.

"I was just kidding, you know that right?" She takes Quinn's hand and kisses it fondly. Then she stares at it as she notices that something is missing.

A ring…

Something hits her.

"Quinn…"

"Mmm?"

"I understood your reasons in not wanting to go further and as I said, my divorce is just a matter of details, but what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Well, you're engaged."

The blonde bursts out laughing, pressing her forehead into Rachel's back.

"Quinn!"

"Sorry." She tries to stop but fails.

"It's not funny! You dumped me. I was really heartbroken okay." She pouts.

"Hey!" She lifts her head and holds back her grin. "I didn't dump you, I was really engaged."

"You were?"

"He proposed to me last week." She gets serious and takes a deep breath. "And I said yes because…"

"Yeah?"

She remains silent for a moment thinking carefully about what she wants to say. She supposes that they need to have this conversation once for all and then leave the past behind.

"Rach, I spent years struggling to get over you. I've fought against my feelings for years and… then I met Em."

Rachel releases a snort but Quinn keeps talking.

"Did I have feelings for her? Yes, but it wasn't enough. Two years together and I never kissed her at midnight. I always got myself so drunk that I passed out and woke up in the morning."

"I may be a bad person but I'm happy you didn't kiss her at midnight."

Is she selfish for that? Maybe, but she really doesn't care.

Take that bitch! She saved it for me.

"I couldn't. It was stupid of me, but I couldn't."

It may have been an unconscious thought, but Quinn still had hope that it could be special. And special means only one thing: Rachel.

"She wanted to marry me. I mean, she had plans for our future. I wanted it too but I don't know, I just couldn't."

Emily had plans indeed but even though Quinn thought she loved her, she never saw herself married to Emily. Maybe she was just young and and not ready. Though, three years ago while Rachel was getting married, all she could think about was how she wished she were the one walking down the isle with her.

"Why did you say yes now? I'm not judging you, and I'm happy you didn't marry her, but it would make more sense. I mean, I thought you were gay but again, who am I to say anything?"

"Yeah I know. I would say I'm gay, but I also dated guys before. Jerks mostly, and I'm counting your ex husband."

Rachel giggles but she knows that deep down, the blonde cares about him more than she shows. "Forget about Finn, silly."

"Anyway, San introduced us and he was cute and charming and I thought why not? After Emily and I broke up, I hooked up with so many girls that I lost count-"

"Too much information Fabray." Rachel states annoyed but Quinn kisses her cheek and she calms down.

"My point is that I tried and tried but I never managed to find the right person. No girl was good enough, they weren't you."

Quinn sighs as she thinks how her mother was right after all.

"And with him I kind of settled down. I literally settled. I accepted the idea that maybe love wasn't for me. I saw you at the Oscars with Finn and I was adamant that you were part of my past so I decided to give Thomas a chance. I never stopped seeing other people, well girls mostly, till we officially started dating five months ago. But I was just fooling myself because once again, I was clinging onto my love for you." She rolls her eyes playfully. "He reminds me of you, and when he proposed to me he was so happy that I couldn't say no."

"So you don't love him?" Rachel says hopefully.

She shakes her head.

"I'm sorry I left you like that, I was confused. I was engaged but it wasn't just that. Every time you dated someone else it was to make Finn jealous or to prove that you could live without him. I know you wouldn't play with me on purpose but…Rach, if I had to let you go after finally having you I couldn't stand it, I won't stand it, I-"

"That's why you don't want to have sex with me?"

Rachel would never use the blonde like that but she understands if Quinn still has doubts.

"No." Quinn kisses her neck sweetly. "I really want it to be special."

"It'll be special anyway."

"I know." She presses her cheek against Rachel's.

It's silent for a while, each woman enjoying the other and the intimate moment.

"I'm sorry." Rachel breaks the silence.

"What for?"

"I shouldn't have let you go like that. Not without saying how I felt." She says sadly as tears start falling down her face.

"What do you mean?" Quinn asks fondly.

"You asked me if I loved you and I lied to you."

She starts crying.

"Rach, baby please."

"I should've told the truth. I should have said I was scared. I loved you but I was scared and not prepared for any of it."

She cries harder as she remembered that night and all that was going through her mind; the mix of feelings and fears. But she continues and finally releases everything she's held inside since that day.

"I should've said, please just stay cause I need you. I need you to tell me that everything is going to be okay. I need you like I needed you when I was going to meet Shelby even though I didn't know she was my mother. Or-"

She sobs as both remember that day.

"I should've said I need you like I needed you at my wedding and I need you like I needed you when I came to New York-"

"And I disappointed you, I failed. I told you I wasn't perfect."

"It's okay, Kurt showed up." She laughs through a sob.

"Rach…" Quinn makes her turn around and wipes her girlfriend's tears.

"You can say it all now and I'll be happy the same way." She says smiling from ear to ear.

"I love you." She smiles happily. "But I have to say-" She clears her throat. "Now, I'm one hundred percent sure."

Because now she knows what it is like to be married to Quinn. How together, they're stronger.

"I think I'm ninety-nine percent sure."

"Oh really?" Rachel nestles on the blonde's neck. "Only ninety-nine?" She starts kissing and licking Quinn's neck eliciting a soft moan from the blonde. "What can I do to increase that number?"

"Well, you just have to sign the papers."

"Ugh." She huffs into the blonde's neck. "Stubborn." She grabs Quinn's ass and pulls her closer, biting her neck slightly.

"Like you're any better." She giggles.

"Come on." Rachel kisses the blonde's cheek and gets up. "Time to get up!"

"Oh no, no, no." She whines. "Not yet."

"Yes, yes, yes!" She says joyfully as she walks toward the bathroom. Quinn watches her girlfriend amused and truly happy. She still finds it hard to believe how all of sudden, her life changed.

For the better of course.

* * *

 

Two days later, the Berry men come back to town, ready to put their daughter on the right track again.

They know it will be a difficult task because Leroy and Hiram know the stubborn daughter they have. They weren't able to persuade her to change her mind about the teenage wedding after all.

Little did they know, the whole 'make Rachel feel better plan' would not be necessary. While Rachel has kept in touch while they were away, she hasn't mentioned anything about her new girlfriend.

"Shouldn't you have told them?"

"What's the fun in that?" Rachel smiles from ear to ear. "And you didn't have to make dinner by the way."

Quinn is preparing dinner as they are waiting for Rachel's dads at the Berry house. They decided to extend their stay in Lima because of the Berry men.

"It's okay, I like to do it once in a while. I'm a Fabray woman after all."

Rachel smiles dreamy as she remembers their beautiful family.

"Did you know Beth is also a terrific cook?"

"Yes I do." She says with pride. "We do it together once and while."

"Really?" The blonde nods happily. " So, you're good too I suppose."

"I guess I can say that. Em always said she loved my food-"

Rachel's eyebrows furrow so tight, they almost meet in the middle of her forehead.

"And I don't know why I said that." She rubs her forehead.

"You know, it's not that I don't like her. It's just that I don't like her at all." Rachel smiles annoyed.

The blonde nibbles her lip.

"What?"

"She's a friend and you know-" Quinn says carefully, thinking its best to tread lightly.

"It's okay, I'm being unreasonable." She raises a hand. "You're right, she is your friend and I respect that."

Unreasonable or not, there's something about Quinn's ex girlfriend that makes her almost intolerable to Rachel. Inexplicably, Emily makes her insecure.

They've only seen each other twice. The first time Rachel had her ankle injured and Quinn was present too. But the second time was at an event she'd rather forget.

Two years ago, Rachel received an invitation to sing an original song for a movie. It turns out that the song was nominated for a Golden Globe and an Oscar, though it didn't win. Emily was the assistant costume designer on the film. In theory, because they worked in two different departments, the chances of seeing each other were very slim. Emily worked in production and the music fell under the postproduction stuff.

However, there was a meeting at the director's house. The director of photography, editor, production designer, screenwriter, composer, all the producers, and the costume designer were all there and as Rachel was in town, the director invited her over. They all were happy to meet the Broadway star. Everybody, except one person.

The two brunettes extended pleasantries and then made it a point to avoid each other all night. That is, until Rachel had maybe a bit too much to drink and was therefore a bit looser with her comments. Quinn and Emily weren't together anymore at that point and she felt the need to comment on that.

"She's too good for you…" was said bitterly and full of jealousy. Emily didn't stand down though; she needed to get the last word. "And you were too much of a coward to have her."

They never spoke again, not that it was necessary.

It's quite simple, Rachel doesn't like Emily and Emily doesn't like Rachel.

"But I won't do anything that would make you uncomfortable." Quinn explains eagerly.

"Yeah, but I can't forbid you or anything. For now." She arches an eyebrow. "I can change my mind if I think it's necessary." Rachel says with her voice giving away her possessiveness.

"Okay." Quinn nods promptly.

Yes, she does whatever Rachel wants and is not ashamed of that. She tried to convince herself otherwise and it was a complete waste of time.

"But now, let me make dinner."

Not long after, the Berry men arrive. And now it's Quinn turn to be nervous. In fact in her opinion, she is the one with more of a reason to be nervous considering her high school past. Although the few times she had contact with the two men, they were very friendly.

"Oh my God, they're here! I told you not to distract me."

"Quinn it's okay."

 _"Rachel, Baby girl! We're home!"_ Hiram shouts from the doorway.

Quinn watches as Rachel's smile spreads across her face before the brunette runs out of the kitchen to meet her dads.

After a moment the blonde can hear their voices getting closer to the kitchen.

_"Behave you both."_

_"I'm shocked, what are you expecting us to do?"_ Hiram teases her.

_"H… don't you worry my star."_

_"Just come on."_

Quinn smiles, amused as she awaits the Berry's entrance.

"Rachelah! Why is there a stunning Hollywood actress in our kitchen?" Hiram says playfully as soon as they come in.

"Hi Hiram." Quinn gets close to the taller man and hugs him. "Can I call you Hiram?"

"I think under the circumstances, Mr. Berry would be more appropriate." He says seriously.

"Daddy…" Rachel rolls her eyes. "Quinn, don't bother with him." She narrows her eyes at her taller father.

"Hiram, behave. Hi Quinn." Leroy hugs the blonde.

"Hi, Leroy?" She questions him smiling.

"Of course!" He reciprocates her smile.

"You guys go get changed, Quinn is making dinner."

"Any special occasion?" Hiram asks suspicious.

"You'll know soon…" She says mysteriously.

* * *

 

"It's wonderful to know that from now on we'll have a great cook around." Hiram says teasingly as the four of them are sitting at the table having a pleasant dinner.

"What do you mean around?" Rachel asks fidgeting nervously.

"Oh please honey, we're not blind. We know what this is about-" Leroy gestures in their direction. "You girls are together."

"Well, we were waiting to tell you until desert. Told you they wouldn't wait sweetie." Rachel looks at her girlfriend. "But fine, we're together."

"Rach, I had a whole speech planned." The blonde pouts. "I'm sorry Mr. Berry's, I was going to ask your permission."

"Quinn! We're girlfriends. You're not proposing. Besides, I'm twenty-eight. I don't need their approval."

"True. I mean, she didn't even need it when she was seventeen."

"Daddy that was uncalled for!" Rachel whines.

"He sort of has a point Rach." Quinn says as she lifts her glass.

"I think I'm in love." He places his hand on his chest dramatically. "Thank you, Quinn."

The blonde smiles at him while Rachel narrows her eyes at both of them.

"You guys are playing with fire, you know that right?"

"I'm okay Dad. I'm a mature woman now."

"So Miss Maturity, what do you ladies have in mind? As far as I'm concerned you-" Hiram points to his daughter. "Are still married."

"What do you mean Daddy? I told you I'm getting divorced and it was decided before this happened." She gestures to her and Quinn.

"I know honey but you guys are not exactly low profile people. Have you thought about the repercussions?"

"Hiram is right, people will connect things."

"Whatever, I really don't care. There may have been a time when I used to about these kind of things but-"

She takes a deep breath.

"I was vague for the press and a coward-"

"Rach…" Quinn complains.

"I was so concerned about having the perfect life and the perfect family. But I've come to see that I can't have any of it without Quinn." She caresses her girlfriend's hand. "But of course I won't do anything Quinn is not comfortable with."

"Whatever you decide love." She says, a smile on her face and shining hazel eyes.

The two men watch as the women stare at each other fondly. If there was any doubt on their part, it's gone. They are sure now that their daughter is really in love.

"Well, I'm happy that you're happy baby girl but I think you guys should be discreet, at least for now. You know this is not just about you both, it's about Finn too."

"He's right." Quinn shrugs. Rachel can see she is concerned about the man despite her jealousy.

A rumor can jeopardize Rachel's chance to maintain a friendship with Finn, while also really hurting him. Neither Rachel nor Quinn want that to happen.

"We'll be discreet for now, okay baby?" Rachel lifts Quinn's hand and kisses it.

"Okay."

"Enough with this heavy talk, let's move to desert!" Hiram announces excitedly.

Leroy rolls his eyes.

"Are you sure you have to leave so soon honey?" He turns to his daughter.

"Yes." Rachel pouts playfully. "Sorry Dad, I have to go back to New York. Rehearsals."

__

* * *

 

Even though there are no permanent reminders of Finn, she doesn't count the photographs scattered throughout Rachel's Upper West Side apartment, Quinn knows that this is not the place they are going to live together. It's a big apartment and Rachel is used to it, everything being so neatly organized and perfectly decorated. The natural thing to do it would be to move in. Maybe it's irrational and immature, but she doesn't want it.

Quinn has decided she will move to New York as soon as possible. There's no way she is going to live miles away from Rachel and she knows that the Broadway star isn't in the position to make a move because of rehearsals and the show.

She has the perfect solution; she will buy an apartment in New York. She just needs to tell Rachel.

"I didn't have time to take them down." Rachel hugs her from behind. The blonde is holding a portrait of the couple.

"No, it's okay I was just…" She places the portrait back on the nightstand in Rachel's bedroom. "You don't have to throw them away."

"I wasn't going to throw them away." She kisses Quinn's shoulder and turns her around. "That would be very cold of me. And I'm not the kind of person who lets go easily."

Finn once said that to her, back in high school when they parted at the train station. Once she clings to something, it's hard for her let go. She is absolutely sure of her impending divorce but that doesn't mean it's going to be necessarily easy.

Quinn feels Rachel's mood fall a bit. "I know and I am very thankful for that. I'm here."

She leans in and presses their lips together. She feels Rachel's tongue slip in and the kiss gets deeper and deeper as she presses her body into her girlfriend's. But before Rachel can pull her onto the bed, she breaks away.

"Can we sleep in the guest room?"

"What, why?"

"I'm not gonna sleep there." She points to the bed.

Rachel looks at her bed.

"Why not?"

"I'm not gonna sleep in the bed you've shared with Finn the last three years."

"Why-oh… but…"

"Sorry but just the thought of him touching you-"

"But you slept in my bed at my dad's house." Rachel is surprised. "And you know, we had sex there too."

"Thanks for reminding me." She says sarcastically.

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine. Besides, wasn't I your first there?" She arches her brow suggestively and Rachel gets the hint.

"Masturbation doesn't count as sex." She walks toward her closet.

She told Quinn about her fantasy after their encounter in the cheerios locker room years ago.

"I'm regretting that I told you already." She takes a nightshirt and pants.

"Why?"

"Because… I don't know, it's pathetic."

"Oh no, believe me it's not. It turns me on just thinking about you doing that. The fact that you were thinking about me makes it even hotter."

"Really? It gets you turned on?" She says with her sexy voice and walks toward her girlfriend. She grabs her waist and then bites Quinn's bottom lip in a very sensuous way.

"Yeah." The blonde says weakly. She presses her lips to Rachel's ear and says with her husky voice. "Like ruined underwear turned on."

"Oh God Quinn." Rachel moans and swallows hard.

The blonde grins mischievously, pulls away and walks toward the door. "So, guest room?"

"You're a fucking tease!" Rachel huffs and twists the clothes in her hand.

"You haven't seen anything yet." She winks from the doorway.

"Oh, how wrong you are." Rachel laughs and gets close to a confused blonde. "I've already seen all of you." She looks at Quinn body up and down.

"What are you talking about?"

Although the more time she spends with Quinn, the more she forgets about the memories of the life inside the glimpse, it's really difficult to forget Quinn's marvelous body.

"Just use your imagination Fabray."

She walks down the hallway as Quinn follows her with a lustful gaze. She is sure Rachel is the love of her life, her soul mate, someone she cares about more than anything and someone she wants to worship devotedly. But she also loves their friendship and how they were able to build one despite their past. She really missed Rachel as a friend.

Only now, the way she is devouring Rachel with her eyes as she stops in the guest room doorway is anything but friendly.

It's overwhelming and almost unbearable how much she desires the brunette in front of her. And Rachel doesn't need to do anything. She's gone to parties that had strippers who didn't manage to get her even half as turned on as a simple look from her girlfriend does.

Her girlfriend…

She still can't get over the feeling of bliss and utter elation that title brings her.

The past men in her life only managed to annoy her, including her ex fiancé. Sex with Emily was always great, nothing to complain about. Same as the other women she'd been with.

But she can guess that sex with Rachel will be a mind blowing experience if their previous make out sessions are any indication.

She always thought they fit together, that they complement each other. Now they have the chance to explore that chemistry in the bedroom.

"What are you thinking?"

"Sex…" She says distractedly.

"You don't need to think about it you know. We could be doing it."

Rachel starts undressing.

"What are you doing?" Quinn asks eagerly as she comes back to her senses.

"Getting ready to sleep." She says casually as she is now standing only in her bra.

"Please baby, don't tease me." Rachel's chest hypnotizes Quinn.

The brunette smirks and takes her bra off. Quinn's eyes quickly turn to the ceiling.

"You know you can look at them right?" She takes her jeans off.

"It's not a good idea if I can't touch them." Her eyes are still focused on the ceiling.

"But you can touch them."

"You know, my clothes are still in my bag. I'm going to get something for me to sleep in."

"Okay. I'll be here waiting." Rachel dresses in her nightshirt.

Moments later, Quinn is back and wearing her pajamas. She has a book in hand and glasses on her face.

Rachel smiles, appreciating the sight.

"Quinn?" She frowns suddenly as something hits her.

"Yes." The blonde settles in the bed.

"What do you mean you don't want to sleep in there? I mean, really?"

"Yes. As I said, it's because you used to sleep with him there."

"Just that?"

"Yes, but I have something to discuss with you." She tosses the book to the side. "I want to move to New York."

The Broadway star smiles from ear to ear but then she frowns.

"Why?"

"What you mean why? I want to be with you. I can't live in L.A. and be miles away from you."

"No." She shakes her head.

_Since we started dating my life revolves around you._

She may be forgetting things, but she remembers that Quinn was the only one making sacrifices in their relationship.

"You don't want me to live here?"

"I don't want you to change your life because of me. I'm gonna move to L.A."

"Nonsense. You're in the middle of rehearsals and honestly, I can't wait any longer, can you?"

"No, but…"

"I know we just started dating but I want a life with you Rach."

"I want it too but-"

"What?" Quinn is a little concerned.

She sighs. "I don't want you to make all these sacrifices."

The actress laughs amused.

"What are you talking about? What sacrifices? I'm moving from one city to another." She throws her hand in the air playfully.

"But you have your life there."

The blonde shakes her head fiercely.

"My life is here, right in front of me-"

Rachel presses their lips together in one quick movement. At first Quinn is taken aback but she soon starts moaning into Rachel's mouth.

The blonde breaks the kiss and caresses her girlfriend's mouth with her finger.

"But really, don't worry about it. It's the easiest way and it won't compromise my career as it would yours if you left the city."

The Broadway star looks at her beautiful nerdy girlfriend.

"Have I told you that I love it when you're wearing your glasses?"

"At least a hundred times since you caught me wearing them."

She giggles and wraps her arms around Quinn's neck. They kiss again, softly this time.

"I… I-I know it's a little too soon but…" She stutters as she is a little nervous.

"Tell me." Rachel smiles, amused that her girlfriend is suddenly nervous and unassertive.

"I want us to live together." Quinn bites her lip.

"Oh baby, I want it too." She kisses her sweetly.

"Really? You're not just saying it?"

"Yes, really. Actually, you can move in anytime." She smiles from ear to ear.

Rachel has been thinking about it. It's funny that a week ago she was afraid to even think about her feelings for Quinn. Now, she is ready for everything. They technically have been already married. She however doesn't want to press her girlfriend.

"About that, I was thinking of buying something for us. You know, for our family."

"But this apartment is big enough, we-"

"You still can say no" Quinn cuts her off. "And I'll probably be here first till I find the right place since it has to be perfect." She smiles happily. "But this is the place you lived with him. I want a new place for our family."

"Our family?"

"Don't you want that?"

She sighs sadly. How could she be so selfish? She denied it to him. She said she didn't have time for kids.

"What's wrong?" Quinn looks at Rachel face.

"There's something you should know."

She tucks her hair behind her ear and looks at her girlfriend. The blonde nods patiently waiting for her to speak.

"I'm not the girl you fell in love with. I mean, yes, I am me again and maybe that's why we're here. But in the last few years I've been a completely different person. Finn said he didn't recognize me anymore. Hell, I didn't recognize me. I lost myself in my obsession with Broadway, my career, the idea of a perfect marriage-" She pauses for a moment closing her eyes and breathing slowly. "Finn wanted me to get pregnant but I was too busy for that. Funny right? I always wanted it and I was denying it to him. I changed."

"I don't know." She takes the book, opens it and holds up a paper. "You seem to be the same to me."

Rachel smiles as she sees the poem she wrote.

"That was silly and awful."

"It was not. Do you really think I'm the prettiest girl you ever met?" She smirks.

"You know I do."

"I do."

Although there was a time when all she wanted was to hear that, it's lost feeling coming from other people. When Rachel says it though, it's just amazing. The brunette sees so much more than just her outside and always had. Rachel's brown eyes have the power of seeing through her.

"I'm trying to be me again."

"That's the past now Rach." Quinn kisses her forehead. "Let's just focus on the future and pray for your lawyer to get you divorced as fast as possible. Now, let me read."

Rachel giggles happily. "Okay nerd."

* * *

 

Apparently 'as fast as possible' means two months.

She tried to argue with her lawyer but he said there was nothing that he could do. It was the standard length of time in accordance with all that needed to be done; filing paperwork and court wise.

_"Two fucking months?!"_

"Yes baby."

They are spending a week apart for the first time since they got together. Quinn flew back to Los Angeles as she needed to see her manager and take care of other things.

 _"It's too long."_ She whines.

"I know but that's how it is."

Rachel is lying in bed, tired because of rehearsals. Her whole body is sore.

_"But you both want the divorce, I thought it would be faster."_

"According to my lawyer, that is faster than normal since it's an uncontested divorce. It could be a little faster actually but I…"

"What?" Quinn says promptly.

 _"_ Well, he said it could be faster if I didn't change my name. Maybe a month and a half, not a huge difference."

_"What do you mean change your name?"_

"Well, I use Rachel Berry for artistic purposes but my legal name is Rachel Barbra Hudson Berry."

Quinn huffs slightly.

_"Okay two months then."_

"Yep." Rachel giggles. "When will you be back?"

_"Soon. How was rehearsal today?"_

"The usual. How are Santana and Brittany?"

_"They're fine. San still hasn't stopped teasing me because we didn't have sex."_

"Typical Santana."

_"I'm starting to think she is right."_

"Aw baby, don't give up your beliefs because of her." Rachel teases her girlfriend.

_"It wouldn't be because of her, believe me."_

"I was wondering…"

_"Mmm?"_

"Does phone sex count?"

_"Rach don't start-"_

"Quinn." She whines. "I'm stressed and opening night is a month away. I can't focus!"

_"You're being dramatic…"_

"Hello, have you seen you? I can't help it, I need some relief." She says dramatically.

_"You can masturbate..."_

"I can?" She is unsure.

_"Yes, I can't stop you."_

"Yeah." She nibbles her lips as she thinks about the prospect of getting some relief and lets out a soft moan.

_"Rach, are you doing it now?"_

"No, I'm not." She says quickly. "I think I can wait."

* * *

 

"Rach!"

She hears Brittany's voice as the blonde is walking excitedly toward her. The Broadway star landed at LAX moments ago. Before she can do anything, she is trapped in the dancer strong arms.

"So, you're my driver?" she says as they pull away.

"Yes!." Brittany says animatedly.

She and Quinn still aren't officially dating though the rumors from the media keep multiplying as the days go on.

"Let's go!"

Quinn lives in a mansion in Beverly Hills. Even with traffic, they manage to get there quickly. Much too quick if you asked Quinn.

It so happens that today of all days, Emily decided that they needed to finish the talk they started at Isabella birthday party.

"Hi."

"Hi." Quinn welcomes her ex girlfriend.

"I was hoping that we could have that talk now. It seems we're always busy and never have time for each other lately." She smiles.

They walk into the house. Emily sits on the living room couch. The actress does the same.

"Yeah about that, I really think it's not the best time now."

"Come on." Emily squeezes the blonde's arms. "Tomorrow is your birthday, what is so important right now?"

"Rachel is coming, Britt went to get her at the airport. We're trying to avoid the paparazzi."

"Why are you avoiding them?" Emily frowns.

Quinn takes a deep breath.

"We're dating but she is still married."

"Oh. That's why you don't have time for me?"

"What do you want to talk about?" Quinn says annoyed.

"I'm concerned about you Quinn. She caused you so much pain, and she hurt you."

"What does this have to do with you?"

"I'm your friend."

"So, you'll be happy for me and will support me."

"I still love you, you know."

"No, you don't. This isn't about me. This is about her and the fact that you don't like her."

True, Emily can't stand Rachel. It wasn't nice to hear her girlfriend moaning somebody else's name while she was pleasuring her. Her pride definitely took a hit after that.

Quinn knows the sentiment is mutual with Rachel. It'll be hard but if she had to choose between them, she has no doubts what will be her decision. Though… no, it won't be hard. She will choose Rachel without hesitation.

"That's not the reason why I think this is going to end badly. She is going to hurt you again. In the end, she'll go back to him as always. But you're right, I don't like her."

"What a coincidence, I don't like you either." A voice bitterly calls from over their shoulders. Eyes wide open, Quinn stands and turns to the voice quickly.

Brittany and Santana have free reign into Quinn's house. They know the security code so Brittany didn't think twice about leading Rachel inside.

"Hi guys." The dancer says apprehensively.

"Hi Brittany." Emily answers sweetly and stands up as well. She turns to Quinn and kisses the blonde's cheek, her eyes on Rachel. "I'll see you tomorrow."

The Broadway star chuckles sarcastically.

_In your dreams!_

Emily ignores her and goes to leave. Rachel is standing in the middle of the doorway so she is forced to brush closely against her to pass. She leans in close to Rachel so only she hears her parting words.

"Just never forget that I had her first." She whispers.

Rachel's whole body tenses and she clenches her jaw.

"Nice to see you again." Emily says louder without looking behind her as she walks down the hall and out the front door.

"Sorry Quinn, I didn't know you had visitor."

"It's okay B. Hi baby, you have a nice flight?" Quinn gets close to her motionless girlfriend. She tries to embrace her but Rachel takes one step back. "What's wrong?"

She shakes her head.

"Are you mad? I didn't know-"

"No, I'm not mad." She says calmly.

"You're getting red Rach." Brittany says concerned.

"Baby-"

Rachel raises a hand up.

"Just need to breathe. I need some time. I'll be… uh… maybe… there."

She points to what she is assuming is the backyard area.

"Okay, come on I'll take-"

"Alone." She says resolute and walks away.

As she stands beside the pool, Rachel starts breathing slowly. She needs to calm down. Her heart is pounding against her chest.

Yes, she is mad.

_"Rachel this is Emily, Emily this is Rachel…"_

_"Hi, I'm Quinn's girlfriend."_

_"And you were too coward to have her."_

_"Just never forget that I had her first."_

So she can't get close to Kate without World War III happening but Quinn can have _her_ in her house?

_She loves you Rachel._

_She loves me. She loves me._

She says it like a mantra.

After a moment, she manages to calm herself down. She looks around analyzing the place. Quinn does have a beautiful house. She wonders again if it's the best choice for Quinn to move to New York as she must be used to her life here. But, there is the musical and Broadway. Maybe in the future they can come back and live here.

She goes back inside.

"I'm okay." She states promptly. She can see her girlfriend is concerned. "I just didn't want you to see me angry."

The blonde gets close and hugs her. Very tightly.

"Don't do that again, don't walk away from me. I'd rather have you yelling at me." Quinn says anxiously.

"Hey," Rachel pulls away so she can lock her eyes onto Quinn's. "I'll never yell at you. And I will NOT walk away from you. Never again. Understand?"

The actress nods and they press their lips together and kiss each other with desire.

"What did I miss?"

Brittany reappears in the room with Santana at her side.

"Get a room you two, I don't need to see this."

Rachel smiles into the kiss and pulls away.

"Good to see you too Santana, thanks for picking me up at the airport."

"Hey, I sent you my girlfriend so consider yourself very honored."

"I do."

"Why you here anyway, you're celibate again remember?"

Quinn grimaces at her best friend.

"San, stop teasing them." Brittany complains.

Rachel bursts out in laughter and all eyes turn to her.

"Oh, you guys…"

There are things that just don't change. How could she get away from this?

* * *

 

"Morning sleepy!"

"Ugh Rach, too much noise."

Quinn holds her head.

"So? Did you enjoy your party my drunk angry girl?" Rachel smirks.

"Oh fuck, what did I do?" She sits up as Rachel offers her two pills and a glass of water.

"Well, everything was fine. Till your little breakdown that is." She giggles.

**Flashback:**

_"I think this is the best birthday ever!" Quinn shouts a little too loud._

_"You're only saying that because the hobbit is here."_

_"Don't call her that! She is not a hobbit."_

_Brittany and Rachel left their trouble finding girlfriends alone as they both needed to go to the restrooms. Of course before she left them, Rachel gave Santana specific orders to keep Quinn away from Emily. Although she asked her girlfriend to not invite her, Quinn said she couldn't do it as Isabella is also her friend and she would find it very odd if one was invited and not the other. Santana promptly agreed although Brittany liked her, she never really was a big fan of Emily._

_"Okay, you don't have to defend her just because you want what's in her panties."_

_Quinn giggles._

_"I want it!"_

_"I know." Santana rolls her eyes._

_"Hey baby."Rachel says happily._

_"Hey." Quinn grabs her girlfriend. "Do you know what I want?"_

_"No, tell me."_

_"San knows!"_

_Santana nods. "Unfortunately."_

_"Oh no…" the blonde frowns angrily._

_"What's wrong baby?"_

_"I can't, Rach. I can't, why I can't Rachel?!" She shouts._

_"You can't what?"_

_"Because Finn fucking Hudson! I can't have sex with my girlfriend because of Finn fucking Hudson!"_

_"Shhh baby, we're supposed to be discreet. Besides, that's not true." Rachel caresses blonde hair._

_"Yeah, that's not true blondie. Just fuck her already."_

_"Santana! Thanks for helping me!" Rachel shouts at her drunk friend._

_"No, San is right. Come on."_

_Quinn holds Rachel's wrist and tries to drag her away from there._

_"Quinn no."_

_"Rach yes, it's my birthday and I want it!"_

_"No, you don't. Look at me." Quinn looks at those brown eyes that seem to always draw her attention. "Do you want it? Do you really want it now? I'll do anything you want, it's your birthday after all."_

_They look at each other. "So?"_

_"No, I don't want it."_

**Now:**

"Shit."

"It wasn't that bad. Really. Take these." She points to the pills. "I'll be downstairs preparing your breakfast."

"Aw, how lucky am I." She teases.

"You actually are."

* * *

 

"Oh fuck! How lucky am I." She moans as Rachel leaves a trail of wet kisses on her neck.

"And why is that?"

Rachel now starts sucking Quinn's collarbone.

"Well, I'm making out with Rachel Berry in her dressing room."

"She is very happy with her performance." She giggles.

"You were amazing by the way."

"Yeah?"

The blonde nods and grabs her girlfriend's hair. She gently pulls her up to her lips and kisses her passionately. Rachel tightens her legs even more around Quinn. She is sitting on her makeup table.

"Fuckers!"

They hear Santana outside. Quinn snorts and curses under her breath.

"I know you're not doing anything. Rachel is not divorced yet."

"That… is your best friend." Rachel teases.

"Mine? Never saw her in my life."

Rachel laughs and opens the door.

"Hey Rach, you were amazing!" Brittany enters in the room. "I'm so happy we got to see you." She hugs the Broadway star.

"Thanks B. And I'm so happy too. I'm really happy you're both here." She looks at Santana who smiles at her.

"Yeah. You were great Berry." She rolls her eyes. "But you already know that."

"Believe it or not, it's really satisfying to hear it from you."

"Oh come on, don't tell me you're going to cry?"

"Shut up. Let's get dinner, I'm starving."

"Uh, sorry to interrupt."

They look behind as the voice that's coming from the door draws their attention.

"Rachel?"

"Oh, hi Jason. Come in."

"I won't be long. I just wanted to say… uh…"

Rachel looks at him happily. She is happy she could fix things with him.

"Congratulations, you were amazing as always. And thank you, you know, for this opportunity."

"You don't have to thank me and you were amazing too." She looks at his black and intense eyes. Jason is a handsome man, his features are strong and manly with his black curly hair softening him a bit.

"Thank you. Ladies, have a nice evening."

"Thanks." They all say together and he leaves the room.

"So, take me to dinner baby." Rachel kisses her girlfriend neck.

* * *

 

Kurt, Blaine, Tina, Shelby, Beth, Rachel's dads and the unholy trinity all gathered at Rachel's favorite restaurant to celebrate opening night.

"Okay dads enough with the pictures."

"No. Baby girl…" Leroy pouts.

"Dad I'm tired."

"But you're okay right?" Quinn asks right away. They are sitting side by side.

"Yes." Rachel smiles. "Don't worry."

On the table in front of her, Rachel's phone starts ringing.

Oh my man I love him so…

Rachel eyes go wide. She forgot to change it. Great!

All eyes turn to the phone as everybody knows who is calling her.

He'll never know… all my life…

She picks up as quickly as she can.

"Hello."

"Hello, Rach? It's me Finn."

"I know." She giggles. She looks around to notice that everybody is staring at her. Except for Quinn. The blonde is drumming her fingers on the table.

"Uh, okay… so? How was it?"

"Okay. I think."

"I'm sure you were amazing. Just wanted to check if everything was okay."

"Yes, it is. More than okay."

"See you in two weeks then?"

They are going to be officially divorced in two weeks.

"Yes." She sighs.

"Cool. Good night."

"Good night Finn."

She hangs up.

"How is he?" Kurt breaks the silence.

"He's fine. He just wanted to know how the night was. He is coming in two weeks. I mean, he can stay with you right? I don't want him in a hotel."

"Of course!" He nods vehemently.

"Why is Finn coming here?" Brittany asks curious.

"He needs to sign the divorce papers." Quinn answers promptly.

"Enough with this talk. Let's make a toast to our big star!" Shelby raises her glass joyfully.

"To Rachel!" They all shout.

"My star." Quinn whispers into her ear.

"Yes." Rachel nods. "Yours."

* * *

 

After what seemed like an eternity to Quinn, two weeks passed and Rachel was finally divorced.

"That's good. Right?"

Quinn is back in LA at her house for the last time. She came to have an appropriate goodbye with Santana and Brittany. They needed their own time together. Then, she is going to move out. She is still looking for a place in New York so she has to move into Rachel's apartment for the time being.

_"Yes."_

"Are you okay?"

Rachel had a little breakdown after everything was over. Kurt was there to comfort her. It's not that she regretted it because she didn't. But it was melancholic somehow. Though now she is completely fine and ready for her life with Quinn.

_"I am. Can you open the door for me?"_

"What do you mean?"

_"Well, I decided to tell you the news in person."_

Quinn doesn't waste time as she jumps out of bed and runs downstairs. She allows Rachel inside with barely contained excitement.

"You're crazy. What are you doing here?"

She presses their lips together as soon as her girlfriend gets inside.

"You're not happy to see me?"

She sighs dreamily. "Happy is an understatement."

"Good. Cause I want to make you happy."

"Come on, you must be tired. I'll prepare a bath for you. Are you hungry?"

"Not really but a bath would be great."

A little while later, feeling fresh and clean, she comes downstairs to find her girlfriend opening a bottle of wine.

"I'm not celebrating that you are divorced. I just want to celebrate that you are now finally mine. Just mine."

She fills two glasses and hands one to her girlfriend.

"I was thinking, after your musical we should- I want us to take a trip. A romantic trip."

Rachel nods her eyes never leaving her girlfriend.

"That will be great. Yes, we should do it."

"So it's a deal."

"Do you have some place in mind?"

"Yeah. But it's a surprise."

"Okay, as long as you are with me…"

The blonde gets close and wraps her arms around Rachel, clasping at the small of her back.

"That's my intention."

She leans in and presses their lips together. They kiss slowly and gently and though now that there's nothing holding them back, they have no need to rush. They have all time in the world.

Quinn breaks the kiss and gently takes Rachel's hand to lead them out of the kitchen and upstairs. She only let go when they get to the master bedroom.

She strokes Rachel's hair as she stares at her intensely.

"Nervous?"

"Why-"

"I know it's your first time with a woman so…"

"Oh…"

_Fuck!_

Rachel closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"What?" Quinn asks worried.

"I'm idiot. But I need you to know. Before Finn proposed to me, we had a big fight, like really bad."

"Rach."

"No, just listen."

The actress nods.

"I've already been with a woman before."

Quinn nibbles her lip. "I thought-"

"I was confused. Anyway, I think it really doesn't even count as I was so drunk that I didn't remember anything in the morning. I'm pretty sure I didn't do the whole package if that makes sense." The blonde giggles. "I'm sorry, I'll understand if you're mad at me."

"Why would I be? Rachel, discovering my sexuality was a mess for me. Come on, I slept with my best friend."

"Yeah don't remind me." Rachel frowns.

Quinn and Santana? Yeah, she never really liked it.

"It's all in the past."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They kiss again though now more passionately. Quinn's hand moves to untie Rachel's robe. They both look down in anticipation.

Rachel finishes the task of taking off the robe, leaving her completely naked. Quinn licks her lips as she stares at her girlfriend body. She places her hand on Rachel's hip and guides her toward the bed. Rachel lays on her back, their eyes locked onto each other. As Quinn settles on the bed, the brunette gets on her knees and takes her girlfriend's shirt off.

She moves her hand down and reaches Quinn's jeans. As she finds the button, she presses their lips together again. Intertwining her tongue with Quinn's, then sucking and biting her lower lip.

She thinks it is amazing that she can have a first time again. Though she is now so much more confident. Quinn on the other hand is a little eager, torn between the desire to have Rachel as quickly as possible or to enjoy this moment that she has waited so long for.

"I want you so much Rach."

"I want you too."

She manages to undo the button, slide the zipper down, and take Quinn's pants off. Rachel's hands run up her body, over long blonde hair and onto Quinn's face. She lays back into the mattress and pulls Quinn on top of her, wrapping her legs around the blonde. They moan and Quinn presses their lips together in a very heated kiss. Finally here they are lying face-to-face, chest-to-chest, lost in a kiss.

"I love you." The blonde whispers. "I need you Rach." She kisses the woman of her dreams ardently. "I need to have you." She kisses again. "Now."

Rachel knows the feeling. There's nothing she wants more.

"Take me baby."

Quinn moves her kisses to Rachel's collarbone and then to her breast. She is in heaven. She takes one in her hand and squeezes it gently. She presses her mouth against the other, sucking the soft skin lightly.

"Oh fuck Rach. I wanted you so much." She whispers, moving to lavish attention on the other breast. She rubs her thumbs over her nipples gently, making them harder.

She worships every single piece of her girlfriend's exquisite body. Learning the pleasure spots as she delights herself with the moans of her love.

She makes her way down and settles between the brunette's legs. Rachel opens herself to her sex goddess, her lion Quinn. She licks her lips in anticipation as she sees the utter lust in her girlfriend's eyes.

The blonde lowers her eyes and stares at Rachel's intimate spot. She leans in and for the first time, tastes what she is sure from now on will be her favorite flavor in the world.

Rachel moans loudly as she feels Quinn's tongue working on her now very wet core. She is sure she won't last very long as she is very aroused because of her abstinence.

"Mmm. Oh yeah baby. So close…"

Quinn wants to enjoy it as much as possible, but she also wants to make Rachel cum. So, she sucks her deeper into her mouth keeping constant pressure on her clit, not willing to let go.

"Oh fuck! Mmm…" Rachel whimpers as she knows she is very close.

She then starts licking Rachel's clit up and down, sliding her tongue in and out.

"Oh yeah baby. Oh Quinn!" She moans loudly as a she bursts into an intense orgasm.

The blonde continues to trace her lips and tongue over her girlfriend's lower abdomen. She kisses her way up Rachel's body.

"That was amazing love." Rachel presses their lips together.

"I love you." They kiss again. "And I might want to do it again very soon."

She giggles and nibbles the blonde's lower lip. "Mmm no. It's only fair if I get to do it too baby."

Quinn moans as she licks her lips and Rachel smirks, pleased.

"Right the fuck now." She gives Quinn one last kisses and shifts on the bed. She starts sucking the blonde's neck, kissing her way down to her girlfriend's breasts. She licks the nipples with the tip of her tongue and she can hear Quinn's soft moans. She goes further down dragging her lips across the incredibly toned stomach.

She takes off her panties.

There go Quinn's panties! She giggles playfully as she settles between Quinn's legs.

"Are you ready?" She says with her sexy voice.

"I don't know, I think I'm going to die of joy love."

She laughs. "Silly."

"I'm serious Rach," She shifts herself onto her elbow. "I love you so much, you are my star, my starlight." She says fondly.

Rachel stares at Quinn, beautiful hazel eyes so full of love. And she can only think about how blessed she is.

"I love you too. Let me show you how much…"

She spreads Quinn's legs and the blonde let out a soft moan of ecstasy as she finally feels the tongue she had been fantasizing about for so long on her folds. She gasps as her head falls back to the bed and her eyes close in total elation.

"Oh Rach…"

Her hips thrust forward to welcome Rachel's tongue, urging her deeper and deeper inside. And Rachel is eager to indulge as she finally is tasting heaven again.

Heaven. That's where Quinn is. Or at least halfway there, as a white hot flash like electricity passes through her body. Tingling spreads through her all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes.

"Mmm… Oh Rach…" She moans, as she is amazed with the fact that she has Rachel between her legs. That thought alone is turning her on more and more.

"Just let it go baby." She whispers.

"Oh, oh, oh… Rach…"

She bucks up and the moans turn to screams as she feels a powerful orgasm approaching. She has slept with experienced women before but being with Rachel, well, she has always been a damn perfectionist. She is good at everything she does. Quinn smiles as she thinks she was right, this is just mind-blowing. And they are just starting.

"Oh… yeah… Raaach!" She goes over the edge and she is certain that it was the best orgasm she has ever had thus far.

"Oh fuck. How can you be this good?" She says after she recovers.

"I'm a natural I think."

"You're damn right you are."

She slowly moves up into Quinn's arms. The blonde holds her tight and Rachel giggles, as if she would go anywhere else. She presses their lips together in a passionate kiss. After what seems like eternity, she pulls away and rolls over.

Quinn cuddles her right away.

"You're mine." She says, as she still doesn't believe it.

"Yours. Forever yours."

"Promise?"

"Yes. I promise, nothing can tear us apart now."

"Nothing…" She whispers into Rachel's neck. "We are meant to be my starlight."

Rachel smiles as she knows the weight behind those words. There was a time when they both tried to hide their feelings, to fight against it. Now here they are; so different but yet very similar. What is the sunshine but the light of the biggest star of all?

"We are my sunshine."

Sleep slowly washes over them and they fall asleep after their first of many nights together.


	15. Epilogue

**I just want to say thank you for reading and reviewing. I loved writing this fic.**

**Anyway, here is the thing, this is the epilogue so I'll give you a glimpse of their lives in the future but I let out three important things: one is the explanation of Rachel's glimpse. And the others are: The proposal, and the marriage!**

**I promise that the proposal will be epic!**

**So I guess you will have to read the Sequel!**

**I don't own Glee or the family man script.**

* * *

 

**_Is this the real life?_ **

**_Is this just fantasy?_ **

**_Caught in a landside_ **

**_No escape from reality…_ **

_She watches as Jesse performs Vocal Adrenaline's rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody._

_"Rachel?"_

_She looks behind and sees Shelby walking toward her._

_"What are you doing here?"_

_"Well, I'm watching the performance. Why? Is that a problem?" She pauses and shakes her finger while the other hand is resting on her hip. "I don't think so. In fact, I'm allowed to be here as much as anyone else."_

_"Yes honey. There's just one problem."_

_"And what problem is that?"_

_"Quinn is in labor."_

_"Yes, I know."_

_"Honey, are you okay?"_

_"I'm spectacular. Why wouldn't I be?"_

_"I just told you Quinn is in labor. She's having your baby."_

_"My baby? No she is having… Beth-"_

_Rachel eyes open wide as a fourteen-year-old Beth is approaching her mother._

_"Hi Ray."_

_"She needs you." Shelby says sweetly._

_"Oh my God! Quinn! Toni! Oh my God it's happening… and I'm not there."_

_She starts hyperventilating._

_"Just calm down sweetie."_

_"I'm not there!" She panics. "I'm not there."_

_"Rach calm down…"_

_"No, no, no…"_

_She shakes her head in despair as her eyelids are closed and fluttering._

_"No. no. no…"_

"Rach, baby, wake up. It's okay I'm here."

On their bed, sweaty and puffy, Rachel sits up quickly. She turns to Quinn.

"Quinn… the-are you? Toni…"

"Shhh, it's okay now." She embraces Rachel's shoulders.

"No. Are you okay? You're not in labor?"

"I'm okay." Quinn smiles and kisses her wife's sweaty forehead. "And no, I'm not in labor. She's still here." She places a hand on her big belly.

"It happened again. I wasn't there."

Rachel is constantly having the same nightmare. Quinn is in labor and she is not there. Just like Beth's birth.

"Rach, it's just a nightmare. You're anxious that's all."

But, as she sees Rachel is still in a worried state of mind, she has an idea.

"Tell her again."

"Quinn…"

"Come on."

The Broadway star tries to hold it in but she ends up smiling from ear to ear.

"Okay."

She leans in and kisses her wife's belly fondly.

"Hey sweetie, it's Mommy. Sorry to wake you up but I need to remind you again. Rule number one: no trying to get out if I'm not by your mom's side, okay?" She pauses. "Good."

Quinn, currently eight and a half months pregnant, watches in awe. Rachel has talked to their daughter since the first positive pregnancy test. Even though Quinn tried explain that she was talking to a cell with no ears yet, she continued on. And just like Beth used to, Toni always kicked when Rachel sang. Since the nightmares started two weeks ago however, that little addendum was always added in.

"Come on silly. Let's go back to sleep." Quinn shifts and grimaces ever so slightly, enough so to put Rachel on alert mode.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, it's just my back."

"Sorry that I woke you, I feel awful now." She sucks in a breath.

"Baby it wasn't your -"

"No love." Rachel cuts her off. "I think from now on I'm going to sleep in the guest room. You were finally comfortable and I woke you up…" she sighs, annoyed with herself.

"Rach, are you crazy? How am I supposed to be comfortable if you're not here?"

"Well, you'll be able to sleep."

"Not going to happen. There's no way we're going to sleep in separate beds. Not now and not ever. Besides, if you want me to feel good then you know what to do."

"Out of the question, let's sleep." Rachel kisses her wife's hands quickly and settles in bed.

"Rach, come on! Baby, its just sex. I'm not running a marathon."

"Excuse me?" Rachel gets testy. "First, you're telling me that with us 'its just sex'?"

Quinn rolls her eyes. "You know what I mea-"

"And no, we can't. You're almost nine months pregnant Sunshine. I won't do it."

"That's nonsense." She whines frustrated. "Please let me at least touch you."

"But that's even worse! What if I- you know, end up hurting you."

"Rach please, I'm going crazy here."

"Baby…"

"Fine." She huffs and starts trying to stand up.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Quinn?"

The blonde manages to get to her feet and leaves the room.

"Quinn?" Rachel stands up quickly and follows her wife.

"I'm thirsty." She walks through the hallway toward the stairs.

"And you couldn't ask?"

"No."

"But Quinn…"

She continues walking down the stairs without looking at Rachel.

"Quinn!"

"Rachel it's just a freaking glass of water!" They get in the kitchen.

She takes the glass and starts pouring it.

"Are you mad?"

"No-" She drinks the water slowly, trying to keep calm.

Rachel sighs, watching her wife anxiously.

"I'm just frustrated." She finishes the water and sets the glass down on the counter.

"Frustrated?"

She frowns as Quinn passes by her and leaves the kitchen.

"Quinn…" She follows the blonde.

"I'm fucking frustrated! You don't want to touch me!"

Quinn says angrily, as she enters the living room of their apartment. She sits on the couch and looks everywhere but at Rachel. Trying to calm down, she thinks back to when she bought their place three years ago before they were married. Her realtor was unsure about showing it to Quinn, as it was in the West Village and a little more bohemian than her normal celebrity clients liked. When they drove through the neighborhood though Quinn fell in love. It was definitely one of the more colorful parts of Manhattan. In between cobblestone streets and early world charm stood chic eateries, small thrift stores and all types of families strolling around. When they pulled up to the house, a large updated brownstone tucked away down a cobblestone side street, Quinn almost put an offer in right there. When she made it into the apartment, she was amazed how right it felt just standing inside the door. In fact, it was just like the apartment she dreamt about that night before New Year's Eve. At first glance, Rachel wasn't completely sold. Once she found out their neighbors were Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker and she saw the true grandeur of the home, she demanded they move in immediately.

The first floor had large open concept living and dinning rooms, with floor to ceiling windows that stretched the entire length of the apartment. A gourmet chef's kitchen, complete with a large center island, took up the entire back part of the apartment. Three doors were tucked away near the stairs, two leading to small rooms that were perfect for an office and guest room, and the third being a lovely modern guest bathroom. Upstairs was a huge master bedroom with ensuite, two more bedrooms, a bathroom, and a large bonus space in which Quinn ultimately decided to turn into a music room for Rachel. Quinn kept out the Broadway star until it was completely finished and decorated. In Rachel's opinion, it's the greatest room in the house.

"That's not true, I do touch you."

Quinn is brought out of her musings by her wife's voice. "You know what I mean!"

"Baby you're just stressed. It's because you're pregnant and all the hormones…" Rachel gets close to her wife and hugs her from behind. "You know what? Soon it will be over, we'll have a beautiful baby girl and you'll have your body back."

As soon as it slips from her mouth she knows she's made a huge mistake.

"So that's the problem, my body?" The blonde pulls away harshly.

"Baby, please don't go there…"

"Why?" She smiles dejectedly. "Is it because I'm this big fat ugly cow that you don't desire anymore?"

"Of course not!"

"Uh huh."

"Look I know that it must be hard sometimes-"

"You don't fucking know! You never got pregnant, so you don't know. You don't know what I'm going through!" She says this in that way that makes Rachel's whole body tense as she remembers their high school bitter moments. She watches Quinn walk up the stairs.

The Broadway star takes a deep breath and goes back to their bedroom as well. "We're not going to do this now. You're stressed and that's not good for the baby-" She says as she walks in.

"Just shut up!" She throws her hand in the air rashly. "You can't control every fucking thing about my pregnancy! And I don't want you to do it anymore! I'm freaking out already."

Since they got confirmation that Quinn was pregnant, Rachel had been a super caring and dedicated wife. Along with that, she got a bit controlling as well. Quinn loved everything that Rachel did for her though. She tried to indulge Quinn's every desire and made her feel so loved and cared for. That is, until Rachel's routine started to affect their sex life.

Since their first time, their sex life had been very active and switched between sweet and tender lovemaking and wild and passionate fucking. Like the time Quinn left Rachel's neck all marked up because some Broadway guy had flirted with her. However a month ago, to Quinn's distaste, Rachel decided that the blonde couldn't touch her sexually because she could hurt the blonde in case things got out of control, which had happened more times than they could count. Then two weeks ago, she decided that they shouldn't have sex at all just for precaution.

Of course Quinn never agreed to any of it, and they argued about it constantly. Now, the blonde is at her limit. Horny, frustrated, and just plain angry.

"Yes, you're right. I can't relate to your pregnancy problems. I'm nobody important. It's not like I'm your wife or anything right?

"No, Rach I'm sorr-"

"I'm sleeping in the guest room."

Rachel turns around and executes a perfect storm out, stomping down the stairs and slamming the door of the lower guest room shut with such force that Quinn could hear it.

"I'm an idiot!" The blonde bursts out in tears.

She sits on bed, her tears streaming down her face.

Stupid hormones! Now she hates me…

Quinn hates it when they fight; it is something so out of place that she feels completely awful. It seems cliché but their marriage really has been nothing less than perfect. And although arguing with each other used to be a very usual thing for them back in high school, since they got together, it became very rare.

"You're magnificent."

She lifts her head immediately. She was so lost in her misery that she didn't hear Rachel coming back up the stairs.

"You've always been and frankly, you're even more beautiful now." Rachel gets closer and she takes her wife's hand and kneels in front of her. "You're carrying my baby." She wipes Quinn's tears. "And that's what I should have said before."

She holds the blonde's neck and presses their lips together, kissing Quinn passionately.

"And I will always desire you." They kiss again.

"I love you." Quinn says emotionally.

"I love you too."

"So make love to me Rach."

Rachel stands up and pulls Quinn with her. She captures the blonde's lips again and kisses her slowly at first but as her hands run through her wife's hair, she gets more passionate. Her tongue probes deep into Quinn's mouth as the blonde kisses back intensely, her arms holding Rachel tightly. They stop to breathe.

"Please baby." Quinn whispers as her wife's gentle hand is rubbing her breast. She moans in pleasure when Rachel slides her hand under her shirt and cups one breast. She then takes the shirt off and kisses one of them softly and slowly. When she is sucking and licking the nipples she lets out a big sigh and smiles.

"What?" Quinn looks down and smiles too.

"I was thinking that soon, I won't be able to do this for a while. But it's okay because it's for her. She can borrow them but they're still mine."

Since Quinn's breasts doubled in size because of the pregnancy, Rachel became even more obsessed with them. She cups both breasts and squeezes them slightly.

"Yess." Quinn hisses out, her breasts more sensitive than normal at this point.

Rachel turns her wife around and starts sliding Quinn's pants down. She kneels and takes them off completely. She cups both cheeks and bites the flesh of Quinn's ass. The brunette stands up to fondle the blonde's breasts again as she plants open mouthed kisses on Quinn's neck.

"Oh yess baby, I missed this."

"Did you?" She bites Quinn's earlobe.

"Yess. Baby?"

"Mm?"

"I don't like fighting with you."

"I don't like it either." She says fondly. "Lay down for me."

Quinn lies and settles on bed.

"Wait." She says as Rachel is spreading her legs.

"What's wrong? Are you okay baby?"

"Let me touch you first."

"But Quinn, this is about you, you're stressed and I'll make you feel good."

"By letting me touch you."

"You miss being in charge don't you baby?" Rachel smirks.

"So much…" She sighs. "Take your clothes off."

Rachel does as commanded and gets naked.

"Quinn, it will be better if-"

"Just shut up, I need you on my face now." She licks her lips as she starts getting very eager. She needs to taste her love.

"Are you sure?"

"So sure…" Her eyes don't leave Rachel's body as the brunette gets closer.

"I love you Sunshine."

"I love you too Starlight."

She positions herself and the blonde is sure that her night is about to get very good.

* * *

 

She curses under her breath as she notices that once again, she has to leave her comfortable spot on the couch. Especially because lately, comfortable is an extinct word in her vocabulary.

"I need to go to the bathroom sweetie."

"Okay, let me help you." Beth stands up and gets in front of her mother.

"What?" She asks as she sees the big smile on Quinn's face.

"Nothing, I'm just appreciating my beautiful daughter."

The fact the she was now living so much closer to her daughter was a big plus when she moved to New York.

"Haha." Beth snorts.

"You are."

"Yeah, if you're into acne."

"Beth, look at me." She holds the blonde girl's chin. "You're a wonderful girl. You're amazing and I'm so proud of you. But…" She trails off playfully. "Even though I believe that beauty is more than skin deep-" Rachel taught her that. "I know for sure that you're going to be a very beautiful woman."

"So, I'm not beautiful now?" She smirks.

"You know what I mean. Do you think I'm beautiful?"

"Well that's an understatement." She says reverently.

They giggle.

"So, it so happens that since you're so much like me…"

"You think?"

"Beth? Really? Look at us."

"Well, you don't have acne." Beth says in a typical teenage manner.

"Thank God. I'm little too old for that."

"What about when you were on my age?"

"I had acne and I was fat." She arches her brow playfully. "Kids used to call me Lucy Caboosey."

"So, I'll get fat?"

"Ugh, Beth!"

"You're saying I'm just like you and all-"

"Have you ever felt that you weren't loved or won't ever be loved? That you're so insecure about yourself that you keep eating and eating so you don't have to feel so depressed?"

"No." Beth shakes her head. "I know I'm loved."

"I hope so because you really truly are. Loved by your mother, me, Puck, Rachel, and…" She takes Beth's hand and places it on her belly. "By her."

The blonde girl giggles. "How do you know?"

"I just know." She smiles at the teen. "Now help me here." She grimaces slightly as she stands. Suddenly, a strange feeling washes over her that she can't explain.

"What?"

"It's nothing…I think-" Quinn says trying to smile.

"I'll go get my mom. Mommy!" Beth yells and goes toward the kitchen. "Mommy, come here!"

"What's wrong?"

Shelby runs to the living room. Of course in her absence Rachel had asked her mother to take care of Quinn.

"I'm okay. I think I just really need to pee."

"Are you sure?" Shelby is not entirely convinced.

"Yes. It's just-"

"Honey, tell me what are you feeling?"

Quinn takes a deep breath.

"Baby I'm home!" They hear before seeing Rachel enter the apartment.

The Broadway star heads straight for the group who are oddly standing around the living room.

"So soon?" Quinn asks as Rachel presses their lips in a chaste kiss.

"Yes." She smiles and kisses Beth.

Rachel was back from a charity event sponsored by a group Quinn worked closely with. She thought it amazing how Quinn constantly dedicated and volunteered her time to charity work, even making trips to Africa where she volunteered at a nongovernmental institution dedicated to teenagers who got pregnant and didn't have anybody to help them. As Quinn's wife, and as the blonde couldn't be there (Rachel's decision), Rachel went in her place. After the lively and pleasant dinner, she started feeling uneasy and she knew for sure that she had to get back home. She had always been a little psychic, right? She excused herself for the night which was met with understanding as Quinn's state was public knowledge.

"Please don't be mad but I had this feeling an-" She stops and stares at the odd face her wife was making. "What's wrong?"

"My water just broke."

* * *

 

After confirming that yes, Quinn's water had broken (the amniotic liquid on the floor being proof) it was madness. Who knew that getting ready to become a grandmother would be so much more dramatic than becoming a mother? Shelby had to deal with her daughter in-law who was in labor, her scared and terrified younger daughter, and worst of all, her completely overdramatic and hysteric older daughter.

Rachel freaked out. It was anxiety, excitement and her overprotection toward Quinn all mixed together to form a hurricane of emotion. As soon as she managed to calm her daughter down a little, Shelby called their driver who Rachel had requested be on standby just in case.

On their way to the hospital, Rachel called her dads but was having big trouble forming a coherent sentence. Quinn had to step in and despite the pain caused by contractions, she talked to them calmly and informed them what was going on. The Berry men, especially Leroy, dealt with the news just like their daughter. Their excitement couldn't be any bigger as they announced that they would leave immediately for New York. Although Judy's reaction moments later when Quinn called her mother wasn't any less different.

Finally, they made it to the hospital where Quinn was set up in a private room. They settled in, waiting for the obstetrician. Well, Quinn was settled. Rachel began pacing the room.

"Rachel, honey, just calm down. It's labor, I've already been through it before remember?"

"Yeah. I wasn't there though."

"Here we go again."

"It's true."

"Just let me remind you Rachel, you were sixteen and-"

"That is hardly an excuse."

Quinn huffs, frustrated. This is really not the time for that. Especially when contractions are killing her.

"Rachel, this is the most important moment of our family. Are we really going to argue about something that happened fourteen years ago? Beth is here and she loves you. That's what matters. And-" She raises her voice a little. "As I was saying, we weren't friends at that time. We barely talked to each other."

"We were a family Quinn, the whole glee club was there. And you're wrong, I always considered you a friend. But I think it may have always been a one sided thing." She smiles, melancholic.

"Rach…" She whines.

Rachel sighs loudly.

"You're right. I'm sorry." She gets close to her wife and kisses her hand. "We're here and that's what matters."

"Hey girls." Shelby walks inside followed by Beth. "The doctor will be in soon."

"No, she has to be here now!"

"Rach…"

Less than a few minutes later, Quinn's obstetrician appears. After a quick check, it's announced that Quinn is dilated enough to head to the birthing room.

"Oh God, honey just come out!"

She'd forgotten how painful the whole giving birth thing is. Again, she decided to do it naturally without the drugs. When they started planning the pregnancy, they both agreed on it. Now, here she is, trying her best to control her screams as to not alarm Rachel exactly how much pain she's in. Although, she might be close to breaking the brunette's hand as she is holding it so tight.

Rachel couldn't care less as she is focused on helping Quinn breathe. Just like she learned in the classes she took.

"You're doing great Quinn. She is almost here." The doctor announces.

"See Sunshine? Just breathe." Rachel says sweetly as she kisses Quinn's sweaty forehead.

"Rach?"

"Yes honey?"

"Tell me why I am doing this again."

Rachel giggles and kisses her wife cheek.

"Because you love me."

"Yeah." She says dumbfounded.

"And because I love you."

Quinn sighs. And as she looks at Rachel, she thinks that she would do anything to see that look of sheer adoration in her wife's eyes.

"I love you."

"Then keep pushing… and breathe."

She nods and does as commanded.

"Come on." The doctor says encouraging her. "One more push…"

She bites her lip hard but it's not enough to prevent her from screaming as the baby finally comes out.

And then, they hear the cry.

"Well, she's got a set of lungs hasn't she." The doctor smiles at Rachel as she gives the baby to the nurses to clean up.

"Just like her mother." Quinn smiles widely.

"You were wonderful baby." Rachel kisses her wife's forehead. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, just want to see her." She nods as she is tired and eager.

"Well, then here she is."

Free of her umbilical cord, Toni is carefully placed in her mother's arms.

"I can't believe she is here. She is… I have no words." Rachel says with tears in her eyes.

They giggle, Rachel Berry with no words? Quinn stretches her arms and wipes her wife's tears. Then with sweet, happy, shining eyes, and with a big smile on her face, she looks at her daughter.

"Hi…"

She is in bliss. Smiling from ear to ear as tears runs down her face at the same time.

Fourteen years later and here she is again. Though nothing in the world can pull her away this time.

Now, she is ready to be a mother.

* * *

 

**_One year later._ **

She hates it when she has to stay away from her family. And that's why she's started thinking about taking time away from Broadway. She is now a two time Tony winner with ten years of Broadway under her belt. It's funny how the critics comment how spectacular she is, as always, yet they claim there is something new about her performance. Rachel knows exactly what it is. She now performs for her beautiful and perfect family.

She's just had a very productive afternoon with her agent and now wants to share everything with the pretty blonde that she has the pleasure of calling her wife. Rachel gets inside their apartment and walks toward the stairs. The closer she gets, the more the noises become distinct. When she gets inside the bedroom, she hears that one sound that she thinks is the most beautiful sound in the world, Toni laughing.

"Yay! One more time." Quinn shouts happily as Toni keeps laughing.

"Now wash mom's neck." Rachel walks in the attached bathroom and smiles as she sees Quinn lifting her head so Toni could wash her neck. They are both inside the bathtub, surrounded by toys. "Hey baby! Look at this! She is-" She points to Toni's hand holding the bath sponge.

"I'm seeing."

Rachel smiles from ear to ear. She holds her breath for a moment and moves closer to the bath. She kneels and kisses her wife quickly.

"How was your meeting?" Quinn asks as she is now trying to calm an overexcited Toni. The girl is splashing water everywhere. "Toni, you're soaking your mother."

Seeing Rachel wiping her face amuses the little brunette even more and she continues to splash.

"Little girl." Quinn says in a serious tone and Rachel watches as Toni's big brown eyes stare at her mother with curiosity and respect. "No no. Look at Mommy's face." She pouts and points to Rachel's face.

Toni smiles at her mother, caressing Quinn's pout. The blonde bites her daughter's fingers sweetly, which makes the baby girl laugh hard. Meanwhile Rachel watches in awe, completely charmed by her two most beloved girls.

"You're perfect, you know that right?" She strokes Quinn's short hair. After Toni was born, she decided to cut it short since she wanted to dedicate as much time as she could to her daughter. They don't have a nanny except when it's really necessary.

"You're the perfect one baby, look what you gave me."

Rachel sighs. "She is kind of perfect… Mm?"

"Yes."

"But now it's time to get out of this bathtub, let me see her fingers…" She inspects her daughter's fingers playfully. "Yep, ready to leave. Let me take her. You finish rinsing off." Rachel kisses Quinn one more time and takes her daughter out of the bath to Toni's displeasure.

After the usual routine that consists of dressing her daughter and letting her play with her toys, her favorite being a little cute and very pink piano Rachel bought to her -which lead to Quinn's warnings that they wouldn't pressure Toni to do or like anything-they come together at the kitchen island to talk while Quinn is making her food.

"I'm going to check her again Sunshine."

Although she is still crawling, Toni has to stay with her toys inside her baby safety fence otherwise she ends up on the stairs.

"Okay, go ahead. I'm starting to think it's a little too quiet."

Rachel giggles and leaves the kitchen. She walks toward the living room and notices that indeed the little girl is quiet. And that usually means one thing, trouble.

But this time it's anything but. Rachel stops walking and smiles happily. Right there in front of her is Toni, standing on her legs and walking over her toys as if it's the easiest thing in the world.

Rachel started walking when she was eight months old (Toni is now almost one, her birthday is in two weeks) and as Quinn says, she has this habit of comparing the both of them. Which, the actress continues to discourage since day one.

But she had a theory and now knows she was right. Two months ago, Toni started her first steps and then nothing. She didn't do it anymore.

If Rachel had to guess, it would be that Ms. Lucy Antoinette is Quinndependent. Whenever Quinn is around, she wants her mother's lap. Rachel can't blame her at all.

She gets back to the kitchen quickly.

"What? What happened?" Quinn asks as she sees the big smile on her wife's face.

"Come and see." Rachel smirks.

Quinn quickly follows out of the kitchen.

"Wait baby."

"What?"

"Slowly."

Rachel doesn't want Toni to see them.

"Okay."

The brunette takes her wife's hand and leads her toward their little girl. As soon as Quinn notices her daughter, she gasps. She is amazed and thrilled and happy.

"Oh my God…" She smiles widely.

"Isn't she lovely?"

Quinn nods her eyes never leaving her daughter.

"Hey little girl."

The little brunette looks behind her and puts her hand on her mouth, biting it as if she knows she's caught. Her knees are slowly starting to wobble.

"No! Come to Mom, Toni." Quinn opens the safety fence then backs away and kneels on the floor. "Come here." She pouts. "Please my baby. Come to Mom."

As if she couldn't stand to see her mother sad, Toni gets steady again and starts walking toward Quinn.

Meanwhile, Rachel dashes back to the kitchen and frantically searching the counter for her phone. As soon she finds it, she hurries back and starts filming the whole scene.

"Yes, come here."

Toni walks slowly toward her mother and when she finally gets there, Quinn lifts the girl in the air playfully, huge smiles on both their faces.

And then:

"Ma-ma."

"What?!" Quinn stares at her baby girl. "Mama?" She encourages her daughter.

"Ma-ma." Toni says again.

"Yes, Toni. Ma-ma, I'm your mama…"

"Ma-ma"

"Yay!"

The little Brunette giggles happily.

"Did you record it baby?"

"Of course love."

"I'm her mama."

"Yes you are."

"But you're her mama too ok?"

Rachel smiles, in love.

"I know baby."

This moment is not just recorded in a video. It will be in her memory forever.

"I love you, both of you."

* * *

 

**_Three years later._ **

"Heeey everybody! I'm here with the cutest sisters ever! I mean look at them… So B- wait, can I call you B?"

Beth smiles and nods. "Sure Giuliana, I'm kind of a fan actually so I think it's an honor."

"Okay first of all, stop sounding like your mother."

They laugh. "Which one?"

"Yeah you got me. That gorgeous blonde over there." The younger blonde looks behind her to see Quinn speaking with another interviewer. "But seriously thank you, you're so sweet. Tell me about this little girl in your arms. What is she wearing?"

"Isn't it cute? I chose it of course and she loves when I dress her. Right Toni?"

The three, almost four, year old nods. She is fashionable and surprisingly un-shy about walking the red carpet. Even though Toni has been raised under constant protection and not unnecessarily exposed to the intrusions of the media, she is not the kind of kid who gets easy startled by the madness and crowd of people who flock to these large types of gatherings.

Currently, they are at a premier. After a few years away from the scene, Quinn went back to work. She had the pleasure of filming with Beth who started a career as an actress as well with a lot of support from her family. In this particular movie, she portrayed Quinn's character when she was a teenager.

The interviewer asks how it was being in a movie with her birth mother. Beth replies, "So yeah, there is this scene and it's my favorite scene in the movie. Quinn's character talks with her younger self so we had the chance of being in a scene together and it was amazing, she is… amazing, and I was a little intimidated at first but she helped me a lot."

"But it was fun I suppose?" Giuliana asks.

"It was-"

"I want Mommy." Toni whispers in her ear. Beth smiles.

"Aww… what did she say?"

"She wants her Mommy. I have to take her to Ray."

"So sweet, please go ahead or Rachel will kill me. Thank you Beth, bye Toni…"

"Say Bye Toni."

"Bye." She waves graciously to the woman and then turns and blows kisses at the camera. Beth laughs.

"Let's go Little Rachel."

The young actress puts her sister on the floor and holds her hand. They walk on the red carpet toward their mothers. As soon as they get close to Rachel, Toni lets go of Beth and holds her mommy's hand. She won't ask to be carried because her Mom said before they left their house that Mommy is temporarily unable to carry her. She doesn't know exactly why. Her mom said that her mommy has a baby in her belly but it looks the same to her.

Rachel is only two months pregnant but is experiencing the whole overprotection thing already. In her opinion, Quinn is way worse when it comes to Rachel being pregnant but as a natural self-centered person, she loves it.

She is unable to resist her daughter though and as Quinn is talking to a reporter, she bends down and holds Toni in her arms.

"Rachel…" Beth looks at Quinn quickly. "She will-"

"Don't worry honey, I can deal with her. Let's get inside. Too many flashes for Toni."

"Mom."

Toni points to her mother. And just like she had heard it, Quinn looks behind. It always amazes Rachel the connection they have.

"So this premier is a family affair huh?"

She smiles. "Sure is and I'm so happy they are all here. I mean we're home, so of course I had to bring them."

They decided that they would bring Toni to the New York premiere since it is in their hometown. She never goes if the premiers are in other parts of the country. Quinn didn't want her family traveling overseas to follow her and she made sure not to stay longer than necessary in any city.

"Actually, my entire family is here tonight." She looks at Brittany who has Amy in her arms and Santana right on her side. The couple is approaching Rachel and the girls. "This is a family movie after all. It has many elements of fairy tales."

"Okay, thanks for talking to us Quinn."

"Well, thank you guys. Bye." She sends a kiss to the camera and walks toward her family. "Hey Toni, come to Mom." She says when she gets close.

"Quinn she didn't ask. I took her."

"I know, but let me carry her."

"Okay." She smirks. "Don't you want to carry the other too?"

"Shhh. Rachel."

She takes her daughter.

"Yeah, like they could hear me."

"I don't know…"

Just like they did with Toni, they plan to keep the pregnancy a secret as long as possible.

"Come on, let's go see the prettiest blonde I ever met stealing the show."

"I'm the leading lady so technically I didn't st-"

"Who said I was talking about you?"

"You're lucky she's my daughter."

"Who said I was talking about Beth?"

"You better be. For the sake of our marriage." She says with her husky voice.

"Of course I am silly. Come on; let's see the two prettiest girls I ever met. Ready to see Beth on the big screen Toni?"

The little girl nods smiling.

"What are you doing? Move already, let's go see this lame movie."

"San…" Brittany looks at her wife fiercely.

"Sorry. Let's go, where's your mother Beth? I mean the other one."

"She is inside already."

"See? Move, move." Santana says impatient.

They all roll their eyes but walk away from the press and toward the movie theater. At the end of the night, Beth couldn't tell who was more excited with her performance. But no review or compliments from her director could be better than Toni's 'Beth pretty in the movie.'

When she found out Quinn was pregnant she thought she would be a little jealous. If she's honest with herself, she was. But Rachel was there for her, explaining that it was normal to feel like that and how she went through it as well when Shelby adopted her. Rachel said that in the end, the baby's happiness was more important than anything else. And that's why she was never on board with Quinn's plan to take Beth back when they were in high school.

And now, Beth can't imagine her life without that adorable little girl.

* * *

 

**_Two years later._ **

"Okay! They are sleeping!" Rachel bursts into their bedroom.

"Nice." Quinn answers, eyes still on the book she is reading.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"You-" She huffs. "Did you hear what I said?" She gets close and takes the book, placing it on the nightstand and making the blonde whine

"What are you doing?" She finally looks at Rachel.

_Oh God… she is beautiful._

Quinn thinks.

"Trying to make love to my clueless wife."

"Not anymore."

"Good." Rachel straddles the blonde and presses their lips together. They start making out as if it was their first time all over again and they won't have the chance to do it again. Quinn pulls away.

"Oh God…" She rests her head on Rachel's chest.

"What?" She kisses the top of her head.

"I-" She looks up and Rachel presses their lips together again. "I still want you just the same way as I always have. It's never enough." She cups and squeezes Rachel's breasts. "I can't get enough of you."

"Well, you know that all of me it's yours right?"

"Yeah."

"So…"

"I'm gonna take what's mine."

She grabs the brunette's waist and flips her on bed. The blonde gets on top and they kiss passionately. Outside, it starts to rain heavily with loud thunder and lightning. Rachel wraps her legs around Quinn's waist as her hands run up and down her wife's back. All of sudden, Quinn stops the kiss. She looks outside the window, nibbles her lips and frowns.

"What?" Rachel asks curious.

"Just hold on a minute." She gets up and walks out of the bedroom. As soon as she enters Toni's room, she turns on the light. The little girl is awake but has pulled the blanket so it's almost covering her head.

"Hey sweetie." Quinn sits on the bed gently and pulls the blanket down.

"I can't sleep Mom."

"Why?"

"The thunders." She points to her window and climbs into her mother's lap.

"It's just the rain sweetie. It'll stop soon, I promise." Quinn kisses her head.

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Of course. Come on." She stands with the girl in her arms. "Let's check your brother."

Holding her daughter tight, she walks toward the baby's room.

"Ben sleeping." Toni says affectionately.

Quinn looks at the one-year-old boy sleeping peacefully in his crib. "He is."

She leans in and kisses his dirty blonde head, exactly like Quinn's.

"Sweet dreams my boy." She turns to her daughter. "Let's sleep?"

The little girl nods happily as Quinn walks back to the bedroom.

"Hey baby, we have company." She says as she gets close to her wife.

"I see that." Rachel smiles.

"Go kiss your mommy." Quinn places Toni on the bed and the girl goes to her right away.

"Thought you were sleeping."

"The thunders don't let me Mommy."

"Yeah, they are scary. Is Benjamin still sleeping?"

"Ben is sleeping." Toni says promptly. Tonight, she doesn't want to share her mommies.

Quinn smiles at the girl and settles on bed. "Yes, he is sleeping. We checked. He kind of sleeps like a rock right?"

Rachel laughs. "Yeah. Seems like someone I know."

Quinn gets back into bed and Toni climbs immediately onto her chest. She still likes to sleep smelling her mother's scent. Quinn plants lots of kisses on the little girl's head. Enchanted by the sight, Rachel stands up and takes Quinn's professional grade camera from the bookcase.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to capture this moment."

"Why?" She smiles.

"I don't know. You both look so perfect. My Angels"

"Crazy."

"For you."

Rachel takes a couple of pictures and then goes back to bed. She sighs. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For letting me love you. So I can have moments like this."

"You don't have to say thank you because it was all I ever wanted. I always wanted somebody to love me."

She sighs, blushing slightly as she remembers the fight she had with Santana and Brittany in New York at Nationals.

"Actually, I always wanted you to love me." She just didn't realize it till years later.

"I do. I love you so much and I'm just so happy my love." She presses their lips together and they stay like this for a while, their lips just touching each other.

"So, dear love of my life, would you sing to us?"

"Sing? For you and my baby girl?"

Quinn nods, smiling.

"Always."

And then softly but full of emotion, she starts singing.

_She's got a smile that it seems to me_

_Reminds me of childhood memories,_

_Where everything_

_Was as fresh as the bright blue sky_

 

She doesn't quite know how, but over the years Rachel has just gotten better and better.

 

_Now and then when I see her face_

_She takes me away to that special place_

_And if I stare too long_

_I'll probably break down and cry_

 

They are staring at each other, the beginnings of tears glistening in both their eyes.

 

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Sweet child o' mine_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Sweet love of mine_

 

And then they drift off to sleep with the promise of tomorrow being yet another happy day in the life of the Berry-Fabray family.

* * *

 

**The song:**

**"Sweet child of mine" ( by guns n' roses, though my inspiration was Sheryl Crow's version.)**

**See you in the sequel?**


End file.
